How do you deal with others disciplining your children?

I have a 2 year old daughter, who i could say has been spoiled. she is a only child and the first grand DAUGHTER...she was born with a hole in her heart so everyone babied her. She is extremely smart and picks up everything you say... even the bad things. She has been repeating curse words that she hears family members say and always seems to say them at the wrong time.

I was out to dinner with my mom and my daughter, while eating my daughter became restless and wanted to play, my mom tried to restrain her and calm her down and after a fee minutes became so frustrated that she slapped my daughter across the face, and told her to sit down.

I flew off the handle. I believe in disciplining but there is a time and a place. Now i am being accused of being a bad mother because i become defensive when my mom hits my child! I thought she was way out of line? Am i wrong? Am i just being over protective??

HELP!!!How do you deal with others disciplining your children?
I believe that ABSOLUTELY no one has the right to discipline my children but me, especially physically.



Your mom was out of line, I agree.



However, if you are not going to discipline your child, someone has got to.How do you deal with others disciplining your children?
H-E-L-L NO! You mother was out of line. No one should be diciplining your child but you.
I would be livid if anyone including their father slapped them across the face. My parents and in laws can verbally correct my kids and that is it. My husband and I are the only ones who can use physical punishment and we do not. And if I felt they were being to mean verbally, I would in a heart beat say something.

How ever I have made it very clear to my kids they do not back talk their grandparents or tell them no that they are also their boss. It is a fine line, and she crossed it, but your daughter needs to be told to listen to her grandma as well.
If their kids are super bad - they shouldn't be discipling anyone elses kid.

But - if my kids are bad - call them out!

IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD!



But I agree that NO ONE should be slapping a kid across the face. Not even me...on the hand or butt yes...
Uh, I would take offense to someone hitting my child. I would take offense to someone correcting my child in my presence. When I'm not around, I expect other adults to correct him, but not to hit him.
It is your daughter, not your mom's. I would have been mad to. but you as a mother need to tell her yourself to stop or you will get a time out, or a spanking, or however you do it, cause I have your same situation only 9 years later, and she still thinks she can do whatever she wants, and her medical condition my daughter has ( kidney infections), had surgery when she was 2 years old, don't get very often but will fake one just to get out of school, or to get her way.
No you did not overreact. You were there and you should have been the one disciplining your daughter. I would say that it's ok for a grandparent to discipline if they are babysitting but slapping her in the face was out of line. Actually that is not discipline that is abuse especially at that age. You should have taken your daughter to the restroom or outside and talked to her and if she needed a swat it should have been on the bottom NOT across the face.
Your mom was Waaaaaay out of line for hitting a 2 year old across the face. She needs to get herself under control. You were there, it was your job to discipline your little girl. You need to tell your mother to let you be the mother, and she needs to be just grandmother. I had to tell my mother this.

I don't believe in slapping a child in the face anyways. A slap on the bottom with your hand....ok, but not anywhere else, and definitely not by anyone but the parents.
No, you're right. I belive in disipline and I do smack my children, but I would never smack them accross the face and never in anger, they are warned first and if they carry on/ignore me then I smack them but only if they are doing something they know is wrong, otherwise I explain to them what they are doing is wrong and why . I would never expect another person to smack my child, reprimanding them if they were doing something very wrong I would accept.
You are right to be upset about this. Your mother should not be slapping anyone in the face, let alone a 2 year old.
I have no problem with my mother-in-law or my mother disciplining my daughter. As long as they do it right. And your mother shouldn't have slapped your daughter, plain and simple. I would have flew off the handle as well. For me if she would have taken her to the ladies room, and spanked her on the bottom, and you were fine with her doing that, then there is nothing wrong with that. It's your decision whether or not someone else is allowed to discipline your child. I don't believe you were wrong in any way. You are her mother you have a right to be overprotective if you feel need be, and in this situation, I believe you did what you felt best. YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER for protecting your child when things get out of hand.
Hell yea she's out of line. No way should anyone be slapping a 2yr old across the face be it your mother or not. I would have grabbed her and walked out of the restaurant. I don't care for anyone trying to discipline my kids if not for me or my husband. You need to have a serious talk with your mother about that incident. Let her know how you feel.

Good luck on that talk.
Of course bc it is our kids we dont feel comfortable letting anyone discipline them but US! Terrible two's everyone says that it is the roughest time ..but in my opinion your mom could have handled the situation a little better...a slap in the face at two years old isnt something i would do. As you said it wasn't the place or time. I dont think it was wrong of you to flip out on her. That is something i would do. I know she's your mother but YOU are the parent!
I don't think that you are wrong on this issue. My daughter is an only child and I have been told some of the same things you are talking about. I believe in punishing her when she needs it, but to slap a child across the face NO WAY!!! If that had been me it would have taken every ounce of will power not to slap the grandmother across the face.



I would have to say that you need to sit your mom down and try to talk like adults about the situation and if that doesn't do any good then tell her that she can't see the child except when you are with her. That will make her realize what you are talking about.



Good luck to you.
You are NOT being overprotective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1i would break my mothers arm if she slapped my 2 year old across the face? this is completely unacceptable, and i wouldn;t be leaving my two year old in her care if she has the odasity to do that right in front of you?????????????/you are right there is a time and a place, but hitting across the face is completely unacceptable, it is one thing to pick her up and go to the bathroom and try and settle her down, or even a little spank on the bum, but by no means would anyone be hitting my 2 year old across the face, The two year old will NEVER understand why she got hit across the face, and at that age, you need to do alot different than that. You need to NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSE!!!!! THIS IS YOUR CHILD, NOT YOUR MOTHERS, TELL HER YOU NEED HER SUPPORT AND OF COURSE IF YOUR DAUGHTER IS IN HER HOME, THEN DISAPLINE ACCORDINGL;Y BUT I WOULD NEVER LEAVE MY CHILD ALONE WITH THAT WOMAN AGAIN? WHAT DOES SHE DO WHEN YOU AREN;T THERE? I WOULD HATE TO THINK, IF THAT IS WHAT SHE DOES IN FRONT OF YOU, YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER, AND I WOULDN;T SUBJECT YOUR DAUGHTER TO THAT WOMAN EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! YOU NEED TO LAY DOWN BOUNDRIES WITH YOUR MOTHER, AND TELL HER THAT UNDER NO CERTAIN CICUMSTANCES IS SHE TO PUT HER HANDS ON YOUR DAUGHTER AGAIN, AS SHE WILL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN IF SHE DOES, AS IF THIS IS WHAT SHE DOES CAUSE YOUR DAUGHTER MISBEHAVES IN PUBLIC, WHAT DOES SHE DO IN PRIVATE, I WOULD HATE TO THINK, AND DON;T LEAVE HER WITH THAT WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I WOULD HAVE ATTACKED MY MOTHER HAD SHE HIT MY LITTLE BABY ACROSS THE FACE!!!!!! YOU ARE RIGHT STICK WITH IT NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS

BABY
No your completely right~

Slapping is not disciplining!

That's outrageous, and completely un-called for!

I understand your frustration she was way out of line, your not wrong or over protective.



I don't like anyone to discipline my child but myself or her father, I trust my parents to put her in time out if she's not behaving but I would be absolutely livid if I witnessed my mother slapping her across the face!
If it was my parents or my wife's, I would be ok with them disciplining my boys.



HOWEVER. I don't feel that a slap across the face is discipline.



But if you don't want people to discipline your child, perhaps you should do it yourself.
Only you and her her father should have the right to physically discipline your child..



However, as a grandparent, and someone who has to be seen in public with you, she has a right to verbally discipline her, The problem here , lies in the fact that SHE shouldn't have HAD to discipline her. YOU should have done it yourself. There IS a time and place to correct bad behavior. That time is WHEN the behavior is occurring , and the place is anywhere she is acting out. You admit yourself she is spoiled...what affect do you think this is having on her? Life will not always give her whatever she wants. She WILL have to follow rules once she is in school, and Will have to obey laws as an adult. By allowing her to run wild at this age, you are setting yourself up for disaster as a teenager. Most of a person's personality is developed by the age of 5. If you don't discipline her now, you never will be able to.
I don't believe in slapping a child across the face, but why weren't you controlling your child instead of waiting on your mother to do it for you?
NOOOOOO you are NOT wrong! NO ONE SHOULD EVER discipline your child physically except you and the babies father and b. you were RIGHT there and if you felt she needed discipline it is for YOU to do, not anyone else.....
She was way out of line. My parents and in laws are only allowed to correct them verbally. Nobody and I mean nobody has my permission to hit my kids. Only I do when absolutely necessary and not accross the face.
No I get mad if someone els even yells at my my child even my mother. She was way out of line. But then again I'm a protective mother.
ultimately you are her mom. of course you mom was out of line for smacking her face.

a few years ago my sisters daughter was misbehaving at my moms house my gramma was there. my mom told her to go to the corner. my gramma told her not to and then told my mom that she being the great grandmother has ultimate authority and then overruled my mom. my sister did the same thing you did and repectully tore my gramma a new one.

moral of the story is this you are the mom. you and dad make the rules and gramma does not have the authority or sienority to trump you as mom. her job is to spoil your daughter and let her get away with murder not ever to strike her across the face. to spank or not to spank is the decision that you and dad make gramma has not authority to make it for you. if your mom doesn't like it then tell her to that her actions will determine wether she gets to see her granddaughter more often or less often.