How do you deal with your anger and shame from a neglectful/abusive parent?

I have an emotionally abusive mother and father. I moved in with my father, and though I know he loves me, he doesn't seem to realize how much what he says hurts me and instead gets offended when I tell him so. He tells me multiple times a day how I'm a huge failure and stupid, etc, and that's only the tip of the iceburg... leaving is not an option for me, so how do you deal with it without losing your mind?How do you deal with your anger and shame from a neglectful/abusive parent?
You realize the wrong of it and you see the bad. Let it help make you a better person for have having had to deal with it.How do you deal with your anger and shame from a neglectful/abusive parent?
I have found this site to be helpful: fhu.com. They talk about all sorts of relationships.
Start reading Eckhart Tolle's ';A New Earth';
same situation here, only it's my mum( i think i know what the rest of the iceberg is like) i confide in my friends but try not to whine, and do what i can to avoid being around my mother when she has a mood swing. avoidance is best;moving is ideal, but were stuck arent we? if you want to talk about it (helps a lot) - psychedelic_celtic@yahoo.com
If you have to stay, get a support system and learn to rely on what YOU think, not what others say. Get out asap.
just meditate and breath....dont argue back cause that makes it worse....just when hes hollering stay calm....try and get him to go to concelling or something for his anger issues
You have to find a way to vent. Like me I write and listen to music that is how I get my feelings out, but that is something that I like to do. You have to figure out a way for you to get your feelings out. Good luck and Hope this helps!
i would start by talking to a school counselor...verbal abuse is just as damaging as physical, i feel...the pain goes deeper, and longer
I was in the same situation as you when I was young. The only relief I got was when I left.



Could you move out and live with other family members?



What is happening to you is NOT your fault.
he is negative role model. he shouldn't treat you like this. he is your father, someone that suppose to care for you for life. he has issues!. you need to speak up and put ya head up...

gOOd LUCk
How old are you ??..don't you have ..extended family ..to back you up ?....or a close friend to take you in and protect you ?

for ..I see ..yes..it is so..upsetting ..situation where you at ...

I picture you ..like in the middle of moving sands there.

good luck!!
...wow... not sure i can help u very much there... other than just tell them u love them all the same, i know its hard to say but...

they probably need to hear it.....

i'm touched that must be hard *cries*

';A word, a look and a touch';,

that is wut everyone in the world needs...love
This is tough. I would leave. Talk with a professional who may be able to mediate. This type of abuse can affect you deeply the rest of ur life. Seek support from a group or professional.
One word: counseling!
I understand counseling is not always affordable and leaving isn't an option so the only thing you have left to do is PROVE HIM WRONG. You can be anything you damn well want to be and just have faith in yourself. I know it's hard having to put up with it but that's what you're going to have to do until you're 18 or able to move out. Just keep a positive outlook on yourself and that's all that matters.
you can't.



Why is leaving not an option? Does he need special assistance? Then look into social services and see what kind of help he requires and qualifies for and hire someone to come into the home to assist him.



Do you not have enough money to live on your own? Then go find someone who needs a roommate and live with them.



Therapy would be good for you to get into also, but again as long as you say leaving is not an option--the therapy won't work, because once you get stronger and can speak up for yourself, you won't want to stay and continue taking his abuse.



The way you deal with abusive people is that you don't have them in your life or you have very limited contact with them. As long as you insist on living with him, then you are subjecting yourself to the abuse and you become a willing participant in his abuse of you.



You can't make him change, you can only change yourself.
I feel so bad that you have to go through this...I experienced terrible abuse growing up and I know how much pain you are in. You are in touch with your feelings and that is a very good sign. Please know that you are not alone and you can make a wonderful life for yourself. You can NOT stay in this situation, you need to get help now and fight your way out. If you are under 18 go to a teacher, go to a family member, go to a friends parents, go to the police. Keep telling everyone until you get someone to get you into a safe place. Leaving is the ONLY option for you. You can't change your father or your mother and you have put up with enough and deserve NONE of it! It is not your fault! NO One deserves to go through that, NO ONE! There is hope, and life does not have to be this way. PLEASE reach out and get the help you deserve. Surround yourself with good people that give you the loving support that you should have gotten from your parents. Make a life for yourself and become an independent person. You can have a great life no matter how hard that is to believe at this moment! Get a great education and become independent so no one will ever make you feel trapped again. You reached out here, now is the time that you reach out to everyone around you and get out of this terrible situation. I wish you all the best.