Thursday, November 11, 2010

What to do if your mother(who is 77) lies to you and says things then says she didn't.She has a sharp brain

when she wants too %26amp; then when she doesn't want to uses her age %26amp; memory loss for an excuse. She is very mean spirited %26amp; has been all her life so this isn't new. I am trying to figure out how to deal with this. My sister tried to kill herself %26amp; mom is causing problems.What to do if your mother(who is 77) lies to you and says things then says she didn't.She has a sharp brain
distance yourself.What to do if your mother(who is 77) lies to you and says things then says she didn't.She has a sharp brain
';She is very mean spirited %26amp; has been all her life so this isn't new';

So you think age is going to mellow her ? Fraid not...



In my experience, she is a ';toxic'; person..

Toxic people come in all shapes and forms as they know no boundaries.



Realize that toxic people can drain your health, energy, well being and sanity. It helps to move away from toxic people and move towards people who are positive and uplifting

Toxic people are extremely negative, nasty, miserable, whiny, jealous, inconsiderate, financially irresponsible, selfish, and abusive



Accept that a toxic persons behavior has nothing to do with you. In life, each of us has to take responsibility for our own actions. Toxic people do not do this. They have a habit of turning things around so that you feel bad, you feel guilty, and you feel like you are at fault.



The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions



You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience.



The best thing you can do when dealing with a toxic person is to walk away and not allow them to hurt you anymore. If you cannot walk away, then mentally walk away.



She sounds like my mother.....toxic til the day she died!
Mean-spirited or not, it's possibly that she's having issues with her brain. My grandmother (69) started having similar issues in January. We tried to work with her as much as we could, but in June, we discovered she had a brain tumor. The tumor was so large and intrusive that it was pushing on parts of her brain, making her unable to control her emotions, as well as her ability to comprehend other's speech. She could think things in her head and be able to say them, but what we were saying to her didn't make sense to her, making her very angry.



I suggest you attend an physician's appointment with her, and ask for the opportunity to speak alone with the doctor and voice your concerns.



Best of luck to all of you.
At 77 mom is probably tired and had hoped that the both of you two could have moved out by now. I'm not trying to take sides but I'm just saying you have to respect her old age and try to work things out between you and your sister for yourselves.
I personally think you should confront your mother about this. Maybe family counseling would help. Your mother should be kind to you at times of need, not cruel.
Your mother sounds like a bipolar. She talks some trash when she's in a manic mood. Her mood constantly fluctuates and when she gets like this she is strung out and she can't get herself to calm down. She blows off steam at anyone that's close enough to mess with. She'd do the same thing with the dog if she had one.

Look up bipolar disorder. Do some research. Knowledge is power. If she's doing things to get at you, the best you can hope to do is keep at a distance and don't let her upset you. If you react, you are exciting her and she will continue playing games and lying about it. If you are hurt and let her know it, while in this mood, she will just carry on. She doesn't care.

There is a medication for this but I don't think she would take it. She's locked into a pattern there and she doesn't have the energy or the interest to do anything else. It's up to you to not let her upset you.

Don't complain, not where she can hear you. If you change the pattern and it seems she can't upset you anymore, she might get worse in the immediate moment, but if you just hold on, she will eventually lose interest. If you're not going to get upset, you are no fun anymore. She's picking on you and she knows it. Don't let her have the satisfaction and she will have to stop.

Out-smart her or stay away. She's not going to change.

No comments:

Post a Comment