Advice on dealing with my mother?

Background: I'm half-Viet, half-White. I'm a junior in college (I live in an apartment nearby.) My parents were divorced when I was young. I lived with my mom but Saturdays and other random days I'd hang out with my dad. I'd ask my dad but he passed away in January of 06. I pay for everything (room/board/bills/school), either through inheritance, loans, scholarships or financial aid.



Since junior year of HS I've had problems with her and they've continued to escalate. We fight mostly over criticisms (they include not dressing up 'girly,' losing weight, my supposed 'laziness,' my 'dependence' and 'lying'). Most of what she levels have no grounds. When I show evidence to the contrary she just says, ';No. No. You must listen me! I'm your mother.'; I know there is a culture difference, so I've tried many ways to get her to understand: letters (she read 1 sentence), calm conversation, ignoring and full out arguing. Any ideas on how I can get her to hear me out?Advice on dealing with my mother?
No she is not going to change. Soon you will be on your own. Time to detach while still honoring her as your mother and being gracious, move on mentally.Advice on dealing with my mother?
Don't waste time aruging with her. Do what you want and you can in your own place.
i think you are fighting a loosing battle
oh boy i have been there i tried eveything to get her to listen then i asked my grandma for help her mom would know excatly how to get her to listen and it worked i took her to a resaurant and she couldnt fight with me in a public place and she couldnt get loud either unless she wanted to embarass herself so i met her there dont tell her what you are doing this for then make your point in the most respectful way and listen to her to dont interup as hard as it may be and she will have to listen and if she still doesnt go to her mom for help if you can or someone close to her that usually always works good luck!!!
okay maybe try this approach..ask your mom if u 2 can talk over a cup of coffee tea etc. my therapist suggested this and it worked for me.start by telling your mom how important she is still in your life, how you still need her help and guidance since she has seen so much and been through so many life experience's and somehow made it through as a strong loving giving person..then say i just wanted to say i feel that i may have inadvertently done or said something to hurt your feelings and would like to do whatever i can to try to correct whatever it maybe..some time's the smallest thong we do can hurt someone and we don't even realize it..but then again you may not have done anything at all...but as long as you keep your mom from feeling ';attacked'; or accused'; of something then she will open up and you 2 should be able to have an open conversation..to get the ball rolling.when both people are on the defense then everyone shuts down and cannot ';HEAR';what the other person is trying to say..make sure you try to start all sentence's with not I feel but DO I make you feel etc..so she feels in a safe place to open up emotionally to you hope this help's bless u and you be proud of yourself your an amazing strong caring person even with all you yourself has been through {mental hug} and good luck smile's