How do you deal with your sister having breast cancer in both of her breasts?

My sister has breast cancer in both of her breasts. It is not the kind that gives you lumps. but the masses. It does't look good. More tests will be done. but how can I deal with the fact that she could be gone in 6 months? My mother had breast cancer but was able to get it before it got her. So more then likely I will get it too. Cancer is so ugly and such a hurtful disease. Don't know how to deal with it.How do you deal with your sister having breast cancer in both of her breasts?
i am so sorry about your sister

that best advice i can give you is to be with her all the time you can and show her you are there to support her it will mean alotHow do you deal with your sister having breast cancer in both of her breasts?
I am very sorry. I hope that your sister will be ok. Maybe there is a support group you can join.
Look not at the cancer, but at your sister. Enjoy the time that you have, had, and will have. Life is fragile and fleeting. Enjoy what you have while you have it, as tomorrow is never certain. It will be sad when she goes (whether that's early from cancer, or later from natural causes), but that doesn't mean that you should dwell on that now. Grieve when the time comes, not now.
My heart goes out to you and your sister.



First, try to stay positive and strong, dance, laugh, pray, watch sad movies so you can cry your eyes out. Do what has always made you happy (even if you have to force yourself) and your brain and heart will follow. Spend time with your family, talk, share. Get regular testing, I am a survivor, it works. I feel that information impowers, research helps. There are also wonderful support groups to help with coping. Hang in there, you'll make it. ~Peace~
I'm really sorry about you sister. But breast cancer doesn't mean death in 6 months. By the way I'm a senior medical student. Here's a very important thing they always tell us..The most aggressive cancers are the most cancers likely to resolve spontaneously. I think your sister needs all the psycological support rather than medical support... But always stick to that very little hope there is..You can try joining this forum at youngbreastcancer.blogspot.com and I'll try to answer any questions in more details...

prom hair

Breaking ties with your mother! If information exchanged between your mom and you about your life is finding?

its way to relatives whom you strongly feel should not know the information ( like your ex), how easily would you break ties with your mom.



Morevoer how would you deal with a situation were you are keeping in touch with your mom, but you inevitably have to keep in touch with other members of your family because she forces you to by for example handing the phone to them to speak to you when you call her?Breaking ties with your mother! If information exchanged between your mom and you about your life is finding?
Reading through some of your postings. I'd caution you to consider where breaking these ties might leave you. You've mentioned issues in your marriage and should consider all the possibilities in your life. Family is supposed to provide us love, support and a soft safe place when it's needed. Not every family is capable of this or even close, but they are ours. Keep in touch with your mom, be open an honest with her about your need to get some separation from others in the family for now (especially your ex). Let her know that you need her and want to speak with her regularly, but need to know that your not going to be ambushed when you call. When she does do this, politely say hello and that unfortunately you have to go, then say goodbye to those you don't wish to speak to.Breaking ties with your mother! If information exchanged between your mom and you about your life is finding?
me?



i'd go for counselling.... For Myself

( seriously)

to enable me to learn how to say NO



find local counsellers

and learn how to be your own person



it might cost money

but you will gain sooooooooo much from it

that you'll wonder how you managed before



you can't change anyone else

no one wants to know what we think about others anyway

so

the only option left, is to learn to change ourselves



Go for it.

I promise you won't regret it!
im in my 40's. when i was married to my first wife i was miserable for years and told my mother about it. eventually, after some more years, i fell in love with another woman that became my second wife and we are as happy as we can be. just look at my answers that involve that. whle we were during that situation, without me knowing, my wife went to my mother to cry on her shoulder. i called my mom a few days later to tell her that i was processing a divorce. she jumped on my case about it telling me that she knew why. we got into an argument, because i had already told her years ago how i felt. however, when the time came for me to do something about it she took her side. that was the end of our close relationship. by that time she and who became my ex wife were close. she couldnt accept the fact that i was a grown man capable of making my own decisions. in short, if i was in your situation i would do exactly the same thing i do now, i call her every so often, but dont share anything really personal. conversations are kept at a superficial level



good luck
You need to confront Mom and make it clear how you feel about information told in private conversations is coming back to you via other relatives. There is such a thing as loyalty and if she has none towards you then why should you have any toward her. Tell her and give her one last chance.

How do you deal with messy roommates especially when its your mother in-law to be and brother in-law to be?

I am currently living with my fiances mom until my fiance and I get married. It is a nightmare! Right now we don't have much money so food is tight and last night I went and bought a gallon of milk I haven't been home all day and today when I go to have some there was an empty milk container in the fridge. My fiances mother and I work full time and we don't usually get home until about 7 or 8 pm. But my fiances brother is home all day everyday because hes 16 and dropped out of school and doesn't work. He drank it all with his friends. Not only that they trash the house I got home from church today at 3pm and the house is trashed you wouldn't believe. I've talked to his mom many times and she says hes just a child and that's what they do. She tells me he lives here for free I don't. I don't know what to do. I took pictures of the bathroom there was pubic hair all over the toilet and pee and underwear on the floor. Even worse I was cleaning up the kitchen and him and all his friends come in and eat but they left there plates on the table and garbage on the floor. Has anyone been through something similar and know how to handle this? I don't want to fight with them that never seems to work. What should I do? Every suggestion helps! Thanks!How do you deal with messy roommates especially when its your mother in-law to be and brother in-law to be?
If you don't like the family you don't marry the guy.When you marry the guy you marry the family.No exceptions. Think beyond the guy.Look at his mom. This is the kind of parenting he will be giving your child one day.THINK, what are you really signing up for?Interesting you don't mention how the boy friend feels about this.Does the boyfriend work?How do you deal with messy roommates especially when its your mother in-law to be and brother in-law to be?
You say you're living with them...not they are living with you. That makes it your MILs place and you have to suck it up and deal with it or leave. Sorry, that's just the reality of it. You've got very little say-so in someone else's home.



This should give you all the more motivation to get out of that house asap. Why wait to move out until you two are married? Get out as soon as you can...otherwise, you've nothing to b*tch about because you are choosing to live in the situation you are in.
get out and get yourself a nice apt, where you can live and not have to pick up after an 18 yr old drop out.
Go on strike and roundhouse that little prick.

Just kidding



Buy food thats healthy that you can eat in one sitting and dont bring anything home for your fiances boyfriend. Refuse to do any house work till that punk gets a job.

How to get use to the idea of your parents have girlfriend/boyfriend?

I am 27 yrs old and I am wondering how anyone deal with your mothers or fathers have boyfriend/girlfriend.



I just returned home after 6 months living in kentucky and my father and I just turning against eachother because of his rumor spread around and caused his family gained on me. and only person who believed me and stand behind me 100% is my mother.



With my mother, she had been divorced since I was three but she stayed with my father until recently she told him that she can't be with him because of his behavior and she didn't want any men until she met a new guy in her life. I am happy that she is happy again.



For me, I am glad that someone treat her right and they are together since two weeks now... I like him because he is cool..

She have my approval and I want to see her happpy



And is it normal for some parents ask their childern for their approval of who they are dating or what?How to get use to the idea of your parents have girlfriend/boyfriend?
yeah. it's ok. but not alot of parents would do that. you should consider urself lucky because of the following reasons...

1)my mom would never talk to me about that kind of stuff so i would go ask my dad.

2)she cares about u and ur feelings

3)she even tells u that she's going out with someone. yeah, her boyfriend was married the first 4 months in their relationship but she never told me. that set me off flying when i read an email that she sent to him and saved it on microsoft word. who in the world saves they're email on word when everyone in the house shares the same computer??? well, there i found out that she had been kissing and sleeping with him. =P BLECK! honestly she wonders y i never talk to her and am always mad at her. my dad is the only one that i can legaly run to.How to get use to the idea of your parents have girlfriend/boyfriend?
I think its perfectly normal, I think its actually smarter to do that becaue at that point the parent is letting the child know that at the end of the day they come before and girlfriend or boyfriend. If they have a genuinely valid reason to not approve of the person their parent is dating such as they really aren't comfortable around them then the parent might want to step back and see why that is and see that if it is something they can work on. If the child is very young and simply isn't ready yet to see mom and dad being romantic with other people than the new person should be introduced very slowly so the child sees that you will give them time to adjust to the change.
asking Ur children for their approval.. is like asking Ur parents when u are 17 if they approve of Ur bf/gf???



No.. it is not the normal.. even tho' kids are a good at picking the right person for their parent..



glad u are adjusting.. and be happy with her..

good luck

I know i did the right thing by kicking my mother out but i feel guilty?

I was suspicious that my mother was abusing my kids and my suspisions were right.my son had a cut under his eye and would not tell me or his mother how it happened. He told the school nurse what happened and she hit him under his eye with a spatchala. I put a voice recorder right next to my computer and recorded her saying';go ahead his your brother with the bat see if i care and then let the law deal with your mother and father,its called parental abuse'; she said this to my boys who i cherish more than anything. My job as a daddy is to protect my kids and as always i have fulfilled that part of my duties. I know i was right to do what i did but in a very small way i feel guilty because she is my mother. but once again i have to protect my boys. They are what are inmportant. now she is giving everyone a boowho story on how bad i treated her and i havent played the recording of her to the rest of my family. but i recorded her to protect myself, my wife, and my kids. what do you think?I know i did the right thing by kicking my mother out but i feel guilty?
I think you did the right thing by kicking her out of your house and distancing her from your children. You should keep the recording, but not to play to the rest of the family, but just as percaution as a parent v.s.child services if the situation may arise.

Now, it's time to forgive. You'll need to forgive your mother for her actions and move on. Forgiving doesn't mean that you go back to ';normal.'; You should still be present when your mother is with your children, and you shouldn't leave them in her care anymore.

To forgive you mother, is to let her know that you still respect her as your mother, but that you're a parent as well and need to do what you think is best for your own children.I know i did the right thing by kicking my mother out but i feel guilty?
Your kids come first - that was the duty you took when you made them. Pat yourself on the back for doing the right thing for your kids!! Give your mother a copy of the tape, and let her know she should be happy you aren't turning it over to the police.



Do you have any siblings with kids? I'd warn them if you do!
What a horrible situation. But - you did the right thing. Don't feel guilty. Sadly I would advise that you play the recording to your wife and maybe your siblings only. No need to involve everyone, just a trusted few who ought to know how she can be. Grim isn't it.
I think you need to quit feeling guilty for protecting your kids. She stopped being worth your effort the first time she hurt them. If anyone says anything, tell them she hurt your kids and you love them too much to let it continue.
yes it is sad but you did what you had to do protect your kids that comes first you should not feel guilty.but try to patch things up with your mother as you know what day Sunday is.
i think you did the right thing! of course your children come first.



don't let her make you feel guilty by telling other people the boohoo story. she is just trying to make herself feel/look good. but you know the truth!
Feel sad, hurt, and let down by your mother but DO NOT feel guilty for your actions.



You hit it right the first time - your number one job is the protection of your children.
You were right you are the parent and have to protect your children.
yes you are right.. dont feel guilty please what she did was so0o0o wrong.....
yeah ur rite
You are totally right about kicking your mom out. Your right that your priority is your kids. You mom is old enough to take care of herself, your children depend on you to protect them, no matter who is abusing them. Don't feel guilty and tell anyone that asks that you had to protect your kids from her. You don't have to prove anything, but I would keep that tape in case she tries to turn it around and get you and your wife in trouble with the law. You never know....
You did the right thing. You and your family come first. The safety of your kids comes first.



I'll be the first to admit that I will never allow my own mother around my son. I know she isn't a safe person for him to be around. Yes it is okay to feel guilty, after all, it is your mum. Yet keep in mind you do have to sacrifice things to be able to keep your children safe.



As mean as it might sound, that relationship is not worth anything if she has treated your child in that manner. It is not worth keeping if your children are afraid to tell you she hit them. It is not worth keeping if your children are just down right afraid. It isn't a healthy relationship for them to view.



So yes, you did the right thing. Be proud you are willing to stand up and say 'Hey, this is my family and I want a safe and healthy enviroment for them.'
don't feel guilty....



my mom was just living with me because we move to a different state and she said she didn't want to be far away from my kids. she stayed with us for almost a year and did nothing to contribute to our household and did nothing to find a job and her own place to live. so i had to ask her to leave because my husband could no longer afford to support her. i don't work as we cannot afford a babysitter, and we are also taking care of his handicap brother. i felt a little guilty at first but then i told myself she's 51 and has the responsibility of a teenager.she brought it on herself. as did your mother. so definitely don't feel guilty for protecting your kids.

How should you deal with an angry and bitter person? Especially when the person is your mother?

Hi I am 25 years old and I need advice on how to deal with my bitter mother.



I have two siblings, a brother and a sisters (in that order). Me and my brother have the same father. My father left my mother and married another woman before my brother was born, he then had a son with her two weeks after my brother was born. My sister's father also left her right after she was born. For years me and my brother have experienced unfair treatment from my mother (my sister is her favorite). While growing up I think my brother got it the worst, she would always tell him men were no good and that he would never amount to anything. I tried my best to stay out of her way, I escaped through reading (I'm a book worm). She never talked to us or told us she loved us she just screamed complain and told us constantly how she wish she never had us. Needless to say growing up in this type of environment we made some mistakes in our teen years. My brother went to jail at 17, I got pregnant at 16 and my sister became a lesbian.



I finished school, went to college graduated with my bachelors and now I am working on my master's degree. My undergraduate years were really difficult for me I was a new mom and in college I hadn't recieve any advice about life or anything from my parents and I also had no financial support or emotional support. I was on my own in this new world. I did farely well in undergrad once I made the dean's list and told her I thought she would be proud but she told me that I must have had some easy classes. She also bought my sister two cars and wouldn't even help me get one. When my brother went to jail she wouldn't even go see him or got to this court dates I was there I gave him money if I had it when I could. To this day she still gives my sister special treatment even though she is rude to her, dropped out of college and can't keep a job.



Long story short, I grew up feeling inadequate and resenting my mother. I have since moved on from that and I have become a strong, beautiful, ambitious and loving person. I try my hardest to be different from her I want to live my life to the fullest and be loving and kind. I would like to have a relationship with her but she just so evil and mean. Should I just stay away from her?



How should you deal with an angry and bitter person? Especially when the person is your mother?
Aww i'm so sorry about her because you've tried so hard and i understand it's hard to please parents. Well done on not being just another statistic and managing to raise a child and graduate and continue your education on to Master's level!



I think she's so negative towards men because of what's happened and i'm sure she's been hurt too. I don't think you should just shut her out of your life but she certainly needs to be shown how she's acting is wrong. How should you deal with an angry and bitter person? Especially when the person is your mother?
shoot if your mother treats you and your bro that disrespectfuly then yeah stay away from her if she doesn't want anything to do with you then stay away. I'm sorry no one should ever be treated that way. Its sooooo Sad

How would you handle the fact that you found out you were the product of an affair your mother had?

And to top it off it was with a person of Middle Eastern Indian race. I detest adultry and found out my mother was having an affair and an Indian was my father. Needless to say I am ashamed and embarrassed. I due to my anglo-saxon up bringing, I cant stand Indians, yet I am one. I hate my mother for the affair and the fact I am a person that I hate. How would you handle something such as this. THe person who should have been my father died when I was one yr old, which is better for me as I look Indian and not white. He was a good man, but probably would have killed me and my mother for her affair. How do you deal witht the fact your mother is a cheater and you are a race that most every American can not stand. I hate that this happend to me as I am very conservative and my culture is anglo, yet I look Indian. People are always asking me what my race is and I have to lie and say Italian as I am ashamed of being Indian.How would you handle the fact that you found out you were the product of an affair your mother had?
This reminds me of the story of the hippo. The hippo was not happy that he was a hippo and so he painted himself with stripes so that he could look like a zebra but no one was fooled. He put a fake horn on his nose so that everyone would think he was a rhino. One day the hippo looks in the mirror and accepts who he is and lives life happy. Happy as a Hippo! OK that was corny but there is a real story to learn from. How can you not like who you are. It is not really about who you are on the outside, but who you are on the inside that matters. Right now who is on the inside of you is not happy and you will never have a productive and fulfilling life until you learn to love yourself for who you are and move on. I think it is ironic that you grew up hating Indians only to find out that you are one. Think about what the other Indians feel like that have no control over who they are and what they look like either?



Just a though,

I'm JoeHow would you handle the fact that you found out you were the product of an affair your mother had?
it would be hard to take, but then again, your mom kept you right? she loves you, right? i didn't read all your details ont he subject so you might have mentioned somethign about it more then i thought. however, as long as it's all good with your mom...i'd let it go.
at the end of the day it's not at all your fault. Be the you that makes you happy. I still don't know who my real father is but we know he's white. Good luck!
ok first ov ol we are human bein no matter what ur race is ..besides think the way ok ur father was an Indian so what? u can not help it n that's some thing outta hand n none ov ne body bzns what ur race is...what if ur father was the president of India or he owned a very famous company still u would have felt the way?
you have to learn to regconise your own heritage. what happen to you is not your fault. however, you choose to hate a certain race , you choose to hate your background and you choose to hate your mom thats your fault. you can keep wasting your energy by hating or you could start looking into your history and heritage to find something positive. unless your mom is being abusive and neglect you. you cant judge her until you live your whole life without making any mistakes....
you can not change your race so you will have to get used to it. and you should be proud to be part indian because it is something most people cant say they are.
WOW. I am Anglosaxon and don't hate people who are middle eastern or Indian. In fact how many Indian people do you know. I have to admit, I know a lot worse Anglo's than I do Indians! Including my cousins, who like you are half and half through their father.



That your mother had an affair is terrible, but from what you have said.... Your ';father'; would have killed both YOU and HER? She probably was looking for support more than sex. I can understand you being hurt, and with time that will fade. Your bigger issue is your own self loathing. You need to talk to some one professional who can really help. You were ashamed of your self before you found out. This is justifying how you already felt.



Indian is not in the middle East, technically it is in Asia Minor. Find out who you are before you just hate everything and every body.
First of all it is not true that most every American can't stand Indians. you are going to have a miserable life if you don't find a way to get rid of all the hate you have for Indians and your mother. she was wrong for having the affair but people make mistakes. she should have told you after your father died and she should not have raised you to hate Indians. you need to go to counseling so you can learn to love yourself no matter what race you are. you should not be ashamed of who you are. I am African-American and i am around a lot of prejudice white people at work and some treat me bad but that doesn't make me hate a whole race of people because some are mean. get to know an Indian person your age and maybe it will change your mind maybe when your stronger with the fact that your part Indian you will want to meet your real father but that has a lot of risks and you have to really check into his background. talk to your mother and tell her how you feel get it out of your system she needs to accept responsibility for the mess she made god bless you and you should pray
There are more of us out there than you can imagine. If DNA test where given to 100 per cent of the population it is said that 56% would be certified bastards. It is one of societies hidden and well kept secrets. It is not within your power to choose your parents. Bloodlines are not pure. History will attest to that. What you look like is your fate. I have seen tragic examples of interracial matings. Some of which end in tragic suicides. Then some of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen are in high profile positions in the entrainment industry. Women have gone to great lengths to bore off springs of well educated, well endowed, Sport legends, high achievers, etc. Remember Magic Johnson and Charles Limburger who seeded tens of women with no consequence. Count your self lucky that you where not aborted. Life is very precious.

How would you deal?

How would you deal with your mother coming to stay with your leave in boyfriend and, the problem is she do not like your man and doesn't have nothing nice to say. He normally like to stay right up under you but, you noticed that your man has been distant since your mother there. Note: She is visiting from out of town.How would you deal?
Pick another women because she doesn't know how to handle people, even diffecult people and won't be no use to me in my endavours, but thats me, I demand more from my SO then indifferece to my friends and DEFINETLY my family. So yep would be a reason to leave, but I'm honest in the beganing about what I need from my ladies, might be why I'm 26 and unmarried, but I'm happy!

How do you deal with learning that a loved one has cancer?

My mother is at risk for thyroid cancer. Though I've heard it's not necessarily a deadly cancer, the surgery to remove the nodule to lessen her pain has a death rate of 1/2. Her nodule has calcification, but we're waiting to hear whether it's malignant or benign.



How can I brace myself for the news if she has cancer? How do you possibly deal with learning that your mother will either die or be in pain for the rest of her life?How do you deal with learning that a loved one has cancer?
I wish I had an answer for you. My mother was just diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. It has spread to her liver and bones. I lost my job the same time my mom got sick. I've been taking care of her full time and she is in constant pain. I don't know how to deal with it either to be quite honest. I am with her 24/7 and it's taking it's toll on me. Her mood swings are out of control. I sympathize with her every minute of every day but it's getting more and more difficult. There is no way to actually brace yourself, sorry to say. I've just been dealing with things as they come. It's hard, but some way, somehow, I'm doing it. But if it's as bad as you fear, my advice is for you to be there for her in every way that you can and just shower her with love.How do you deal with learning that a loved one has cancer?
I recently wrote an article on how to deal with a loved on who has cancer: http://www.helium.com/items/12鈥?/a>

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Trust in the Lord. Pray to God about it and don't worry. God has a plan for everything and everything happens for a reason. Keep your trust in God.
';god will provide'; dont worry stand by your mom and trust in god that he will have your mom get better. she will be fine. my grandma had cancer and i trust in god and shes all better. and mostly healthy.



-JAH
Wow Kendra, I'm so sorry. I went through this exact same situation last August. My Mom never told me that the surgery was so risky though I suspected it wasn't as simple as she made it out to be. We were very fortunate that it came back negative! Though it takes awhile to get all the results. And your right that it's not a very deadly cancer, in fact when caught early most people recover from it just fine, and go on to live happy, pain free lives. I also understand that it's really slow moving. Take comfort in this: if you HAD to have cancer, this is one of the ones you would want. crazy i know, but its treatable, its curable. your mom will be ok.
Take one step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Sometimes we have to deal with very unpleasant things.........we get no choice.
when Mum was fighting cancer it was surreal..it was like a journey into a valley that was unknown and dark. so many emotions. advice - one step at a time, pray pray pray so you dont keep any of it inside, trust that God is ALWAYS! in control and He ONLY does what is best. it gets better

How did your mother react when you told her you were pregnant? My mom will be upset!?

I have a few friends that told their mothers they were pregnant, and their mothers were so happy. I feel horrible because my mother will not be happy at all. I will be 24 when my first child is born, my mother will be 46 and this will be her first grandchild. She has told me recently to wait until I am 30 because I am way too young to have a baby.





My husband is 26 and we have been together for 5 years and married for 2. I have a college education, a career, and I own a house that will be paid off in a few months. We are very happy together and plan to start our family no matter what her reaction is.





I am not sure if she feels she is too young to be a grandma or she thinks I will make the same mistakes as her. She had two children by the time she was 21 and was divorced at 23. I am not going to turn out like her, how can I deal with my mother鈥檚 reaction?





Also, how did your mother react about your pregnancy?





I need encouragement!How did your mother react when you told her you were pregnant? My mom will be upset!?
Don't let anyone rain on your parade! Although, I know how hard this can be, especially with your mom.


I can tell myself logically that it doesn't matter what she thinks - I'm my own person, etc. Yet my heart just craves for her approval. Why does it matter, my husband says. It just does! I can't help it - I'm a people-pleaser!





We just told my parents we're expecting our 5th baby, and I dreaded doing it because of my mom's reaction (I can picture it - a stunned face immediately covered up with a fake smile and half-hearted enthusiasm). I know it's not what *she* would choose to do, but this is my life and my family. She will just always be my mom and get concerned/scared out of love. (also, I think she has regrets about raising her own kids and can't imagine my life right now).





It really helps to clearly define yourself. ';Mom, I'm a little nervous - this is my first baby. What I really need from you now is encouragement and support.'; The others are right - she'll probably really get into the Grandma thing and start spoiling before it's born! Those little babies have a way of melting your heart.





Hang in there! Think positive! Look forward to lots of droolie smiles :)How did your mother react when you told her you were pregnant? My mom will be upset!?
well to be honest i think your doing perfectly well,


youve got high education, it's not like youve had sex with a boy


your married to this boy so it's alright,


and it would be nice because when your child is older your age difference wouldnt be THAT big.





just talk to her, congratulations


good luck

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my mom said to me,';hmm so your going to make me a grandma at a young age, are you';? lol i had just turned 18. she was very happy but worried. she loves being a grandma : ] hun its your life! she will come around and see that.
My mother cried--and then went grandma crazy. I mean buying everything you can imagine. She was exteremly supportive but still thinks I should have waited. It comes down to the fact--it's not your mother's child or life--it's yours. While I know you are concerned about how she feels (I was too) you still have to put your foot down and be happy no matter what she says. Best of Luck!
It all depends on your mother as to how she will react. i was almost 20 my mother cried. hell i cried. but in the end it all worked out OK. my mother loves my son with all her heart. as well it made me grow up. your mother may think you cant do it now. you may even think the same. but when you finally get that baby in your arms everything will change!! to be honest i was far from ready even while preg. i didn't really want the baby. as bad as it sounds. but i will tell you i would never change any of it. i love so much and he has made me such a better person. sometimes even if others ,and yourself, think it is too soon it turns out to be perfect timing. don't stress over telling your mother. just walk up with a positive attitude and say mom guess what I'm preg. have a happy healthy pregnancy don't let anyone take that from you !!!
I congratulate and applaud you! You are a shining example of doing everything ';right'; and giving your child the best odds possible. Read my other posts; you'll see that those words aren't liberally handed out to new parents.





It sounds like your mom might have an issue with facing old-age. I think her feelings are all about her history and feeling less accomplished than she had anticipated: not anything that you have done. Take the best from her and graciously leave the rest. You and your husband need to rellish in this joyful (and trying) experience!
YOu are a married woman with your own life. You have to do what makes you and your husband happy. I was 22 and was only a college graduate for 1 year my mother was completely disgusted. That changed so quickly and the funny thing is my little girl looks just like her!! And my mom and dad spoil her way too much!!! So it may seem bleek at first but trust me you will be okay. I wish you the best!
Don't worry about her initial reaction, its your life and your body. She will get used to the idea, and when the baby comes, she will be happy. Just reassure her that you andyour husband are solid, happy, and ready to be parents with or without her blessing, but you would really love her to be a part of things, with a positive attitude. Don't try to justify your reasoning with her, or convince her you are ready,because its not her call. Tell her this is the choice you have made with your husband, and she can either support you or not. It may take her a bit, but sh ewill come sround and probably be a great grandma! Good luck, andtyr not to worry about it too much. How you andyour husband feel aboutit is the most important.
Its too bad that the people closest to you can ruin this time for you. It obvious that you value her opinion. However, this is a Great time for you and your husband and you both deserve to be happy. Try not to place so much value on your mothers reaction. Congratulations.
YOU ARE AN ADULT!!!.. and apperantly a married one at that... if you and your husband are happy that you are pregnant then who cares what you moms thinks about.... YOU set tyour timefrimae for your family.. not her... .. Grow up.. be an adult..
My Mom Was Upset at first , But Once i got to my 3-4th Month , she started to Come around an accept the fact that i was pregnant. Now she has no idea what she would do without her 2 grandaughters !! Let Time play out .. mom will come around .. she just needs to come to terms with it. Also let her know how happy this makes you , maybe seeing you This Happy , will help her come around .. so to speak.





Much Luck an CONGRATS !!
you're a married adult..your mother has no choice but to celebrate her first grandchild
I was going on 18 when I had my first child. When I told my mom she was worried about me but that is a normal reaction for a mom you will understand once you have a child. I now have 2 children a boy and a girl and my mom is completely happy about it. Just wait she will come around and get used to being a grandparent my dad had to because he didn't like the fact I made him a grandfather at an early age to. It will take time and patience but once the baby is here I am sure your mom will be fine. She will still have her worries about you though. Just wait until she holds the baby for the first time the worries seem to fly out the window
Congrats...and you can name her after me, he he. Really, though, sounds like you've done just fine. Lovely....


Your mother may be a little shocked at first but I bet she'll warm up to the idea...There are lots of young grandmothers.


..some think 24 is the perfect age to have a child. Don't worry. Invite her over for dinner and serve baby carrots, baby back ribs, baby peas....see if she can catch on.


I haven''t had a babe yet so I can't tell you that part of your question.


I think you will be fine and I wish you all the best. Have a great day mummy.
wait...you have what other mothers are supposed to have before you even have kids? so who's too young? is she too young to be called grandmother? what's the deal?





i can't say from my own experience as my mother was horrifed i was pregnant and not married. she even said i was no longer allowed to wear white and was to wear black if i ever got married. but then i don't really like my mother much.





most mothers i know will be upset for a second and then get over it. you are married, you are not living in her house. you and your husband are the only ones making the deciscion and the both of you should not be needing outside opinions. regardless of blood relation.





btw..i would have said the same thing if you weren't married, didn't go to college and didn't own a house.
Once you are married you listen to one and only person--your spouse. It is all right to ask mom and dad's advice, but you only listen to your spouse. I was married at 21, my wife was 19. We did not live together prior to marriage. Our first little boy was born 11 months after we were married, our second son was born 17 months after that, our third son was born 20 months after that, our fourth son was born 24 months after that, our fifth son was born four years after that. Five sons within nine years. We didn't listen to ANYONE when it came to when we would have our family. My mother was delighted that we were starting our family young. Is your mother aware that women who make the mistake of waiting until 30 to START their family run a higher risk of birth defects, breast cancer, cervical cancer, and other handicaps (if they can get pregnant at all?) Do you really want to be so old and set in your career when you have kids that you don't have time for them? There is a reason why women often appear more attractive in their 20s than they do later in life--so they will reproduce when they are young--when they are supposed to. My five sons are closer than 90% of the brothers in the world today. We were poor when they were young, but now that they are raised and three of them are married themselves, they have never once, NEVER ONCE, been talking and laughing about growing up and mentioned, ';Hey remember back when we were poor?'; They could not care less if we had money when they were growing up. We did things as a family, we camped, went to the beach, slept on the living room floor and watched movies late at night, hiked in the mountains, played baseball, went swimming, went to the park, etc... Not one of them could give a damn about how much money we had. No child would choose money over a parent who spends time with them. If you want to give your child a gift they will treasure throughout their entire life, give them everything--give them your time. And have your children when YOU want to.
First off I wouldn't be worrying how your mother will react. If you and your husband are capable of taking care of this child BE HAPPY! CONGRATS!





My mom was happy, I was 24 when I had my son and just turned 25. This is her first grandchild and shes 43. My father was extremely happy as well... since he was dying (rapid cancer took him in 6 months) he was happy to have a new generation.
Your mother might be upset at first, but she'll warm up to the idea. She'll definitely fall in love with the baby once it's born, that's the charm of babies. They're cute so everyone loves them! LOL!





I would wait until you absolutely have to tell your mom so she can't really say much about it.
hey my mom went into the house and slammed the door with me outside. but she adores my kids now. if your ready to be a mom don't worry about her she will accept it. and GOOD LUCK, be happy.
My situation was very similar to yours. I got pregnant at 23 but was unmarried, my mom was 42 at the time. She knew I wanted a baby and discouraged it deeply. When I found out I was prego I was so scared to tell her. I waited all the way until 3 months to tell her. To gather strength I told Gramma first and that helped. Eventually I bit the bullet and told my mom we needed to sit down and talk. She knew immediately what I was going to tell her. She was disappointed at first, but then she got over it. My son is 2.5 now and she loves him to death. I know it seems scary, but you are stable in your life and you will be just fine. She will realize that.
My mom was excited about being a Grandma...she asked me what took so long. she was 58 when my son was born. I wouldn't worry about your mom's reaction now...I'm sure that wehn that little tyke is born everything will change. If it won't...then tell her that you son't want her to be a part of your life if she can't be happy for you and your husband...You don't need the extra grief.

How would you deal?

How would you deal with your mother coming to stay with your leave in boyfriend and you and, the problem is she do not like your man and doesn't have nothing nice to say. He normally like to stay right up under you but, you noticed that your man has been distant since your mother there. Note: She is visiting from out of town. What would you do?How would you deal?
tell her that if she's going to visit that she's got to be nice....if she doesn't have anything nice to say at all she needs to keep her mouth shut....otherwise don't visit....that's what I would say....it could cause a crimp in your relationship otherwise....How would you deal?
I would have gotten her a hotel room to stay in.
It has got to be very awkward for your boyfriend. He can't win with your mom. Just try to be patient and be glad when she leaves!
I would tell her she at least has to be civil to him and not talk bad about him. It's his house too. She can keep it to herself because I do not want to hear it. I would tell him that he has to put up with her because she is my mother and will be leaving soon.
just remember it's ur house. remember the rules u they had set.ask her to stay at other family members and just visit ur house, not stay over.
Tell her youre not gonna put up with it and then don't. Tell her if she has nothing good to say about him you refuse to discuss your man with her. Stick with it. So she goes home..she will get over it and so will you. I did this with my mother. We were best friends except she wouldn't get off my man. Well she got mad, but she got off my man. Then as time went by (he became my husband) he became the son she never had. Good luck
you should tell your mother as respectfully as you can, that she should be respectful of you and your partner, if she has nothing nice to say then she should say nothing. if you love your man and he is good then you need to stick up for him.
Maybe your mother doesn't agree with your decision to allow a man to live with you and you both are not married yet. Why buy the milk when you can have the cow for free? Talk to your mother and find out why she's so upset about your man and then lay down the ';law of the land'; to her. It's your home.
For one I would have told her the rules upfront. I mean I know I'm going to have some issues when I move out on my own and I start interracially dating. I know both my parents are against it. But I would tell them, like you should tell your mom, that it is you and your man's house. She can come and visit at any time. But she has to learn to at least respect and be courteous to him in ';his'; home. It would be different if you guys were visiting her in her house. But since she is staying with you guys for a short time I hope, she can learn to be nicer to him while she is there. Make a strong emphasis on a truce while she is there and show more respect for him. And if she can't she can stay in a hotel but not there in your home. I know it may not seem so easy but you have to stand your ground. If your mom doesn't see you as a mature and grown woman for doing this then there must be something wrong with her eye sight and the way she may have raised you. Because last time I checked all parents, especially mothers tell their daughters to demand the respect they are do. And that goes for anyone. Good luck to you and your man sticking up for yourselves against your mom.
You might tell Mom that she should have more respect for the guy whose roof she is staying under.



Tell her to stop it or find a hotel.
I would suggest to my mother staying in a hotel near where I live, she has to respect your relationship and it must be really uncomfortable for your man to be there with your mom knowing how she feels, if she can't control the things that comes out of her mouth I would sit with her and talk to her and tell her you have to let me live my life, make my own mistakes and learn from my own experiences, nothing you can say is going to make me come to my senses so please stop and let's go and check you in to a hotel.. you have to set your grounds she has to respect them.. good luck.

done on acrylic nails

How can do you deal with the mother of your step child?

Mt step-daughter is just like my own child. I have known her since she was 14 months old. Her mother never wants to let is see her and is always moving her around from state to state and city to city. She has had about30 different home in her almost four years of life. I haven't gotten to see her since the 12th of Feb.2005 and her mom won't let us have her until the 27th of Oct. We only get to keep her until Dec. 1st. I just want some honest advice on what to do about my situation. No stupid comments please!How can do you deal with the mother of your step child?
Does she have primary custody of the child? If the court has ruled that there are specific times that you and your husband are supposed to get the child, you can go to them and tell them she is not upholding that part of the agreement....If there is no custody rules or anything like that, you may be able to speak with a lawyer, but I'm not sure...your husband should have legal rights to the child, but you as a step parent and not an adopted or blood parent have no rights...I would definately try to ask a lawyer...try googling free lawyer advice...I know they have financial lawyers you can speak to for free advice...they should have family service lawyers as wellHow can do you deal with the mother of your step child?
why don't you try to get custody. Children need stable homes to grow up healthy in, not moving constantly. When you have her, talk to a lawyer.
you stay out of her business.
Have you tried sitting down and talking openly and honestly with your step child's mother? Explaining the effects that all the uprooting has on the child? Hopefully you can all three come to some common ground, if you have nothing else in common-it should be love for the child and the child's best interest in all of your hearts.
legally you and your wife if that may be the case actually have the case to suie the mother of this child due to the fact that the mother can not keep a permint home for this little girl so you honestly need to contact a lawyer and do you know what kind of health care this child has been given is the little girl taken care of food clean clothes and as we know about the whole houseing arragment so you have a case to get full custody and by the way you should also let the lawyer know that the mother will not let you and your wife see this little girl and this will even put more of a what they call a red flag in the legal system and so you need to talk to a lawyer right away the longer you wait the harder it will be to fight the mother or she can disapper yet again
Wow, we could be the same person!! maybe we could e-mail back and forth and help each other!
Honestly, the biological parent of this child should be writing this question...you as a step parent have no business asking. The well being of the child is between her parents. My daughter has a step mother that is always putting her two cents in where it does not belong. Her father and I get along much better when we discuss things and she is not around. If there is no custody order, your spouse should look into getting one. There is nothing you can do to help, but stay out of the way.

If your mother or wife is neurotic how do you deal with them?

Not one case,but many I have seen.15 days they are in good mood.Next 15 days they fall in to gloomy moods.Many women above 45 yrs.How many are being on the way of becoming one i dont know. But I conduct counselling to avoid future victims. It helps.



Is this related to women only ? Or is it because women (as in asia) dont have men's chauvinism and arrogance.?If your mother or wife is neurotic how do you deal with them?
Its called menopause and/or bipolarism.If your mother or wife is neurotic how do you deal with them?
Every person is different, if you have a ';hot wire'; so to speak, let them leave a message before picking up the phone so you know which version of them you are getting when you call back.

Has anyone on this board been abandoned by your mother/father?? How do you deal with it?

Ok, I was abandoned by both. Thought I was over it but lately its been eating me up. My blood family isnt any support at all. But I do have great people in my life that try to provide some help but its hard when you really dont knw what the person is going through 1st handHas anyone on this board been abandoned by your mother/father?? How do you deal with it?
my parents divorced when I was 11 years old, I'm now 36 and I haven't seem my father in 25 years. When I needed him most he was never there he was too wrapped up with his new family. He has missed out on college graduation, birth of my son and marriage to my husband not to mention I needed him to tell me the important things about guys!!! I had to learn the hard way! Over time I have tried to get over it I just try to put it out of my mind. There are some days that I find myself wondering what it would be like to have had him in my life; but I keep in mind that it was his choice to not only divorce my mom but to divorce his children as well. We all make our choices!!!Has anyone on this board been abandoned by your mother/father?? How do you deal with it?
Pretty uch my father never was a part of my life, my mom and him divorced when i was 1 year old. I havent thought much about it. My mother is awesome. Now my father is trying to be a part of my life, i talk to him on the phone and have visited him, but there just isnt much there. I am happy though.
I was abandoned by my father and that forced myself, my mother and my sister to live on welfare in live in one of the worst parts of Boston. I did alot of bad stuff dealing drugs to get my mom money among other things and then became estranged from my mother. I was living on the streets when I was 14. The one thing I understand to this day though is you cant replace time you have lost you can only make your life better and move on. You need to do this. I think about what could have been all the time and then I realize what could have been means I wouldnt be where iam now which iam proud of. I sympathize with you because no one will ever give you a fair shake , not even family and I know that but you need to roll with the punches and try and take life in stride. If I can do it then you can also.

How would you deal with an ex who told your child he would put a bullet in you?

My son (12) came home from his dad's house and told me that his father said ';Your mother isn't going to put me in jail for not paying child support, if I go to jail it will be because of a bullet';. Then he formed his fingers into a gun and made a firing sound with his mouth. My son is tripping a bit and I don't know what course of action to take. This is really scary. What recourse do I have?How would you deal with an ex who told your child he would put a bullet in you?
This is definitely worthy of a call to the police. And you need to halt visitation immediately. Get ahold of legal aid and explain your situation. They will be able to direct you to the right resources.How would you deal with an ex who told your child he would put a bullet in you?
Sounds like he just listen to the Eminem Cd
Police report and restraining order. Now!
I would go to the police to let them know the situation, so they will know this.
Oh my goodness. That is absoutly awful. I would inform the police, those are threats and threats should be taken seriously, expecially with a crazy man like the one I'm reading about. You have to be crazy to tell a child that you are going to kill his mother. CRAZY @$$. Talk to law enforcement and don't take this lightly.
Take the child to the police and have him re tell the story to a cop and file a complaint and then file for a restraining order against him to not be near you or your son and then get a lawyer!
I would verify with your son that your ex did say that. If you have reasonable belief, I would get a restraining order, because making death threats is not something to laugh about.
Go to the police and take your son with you and let him tell the full story to them. Perhaps the police will control his actions, and keep an update on him for you.
omg I would tell the police. He doesn't sound as if he's mentally there. I would be to afraid for my son to visit with him any more.

You have to tell the police cover yours and your sons back, that way if anything does happen he'll be the first one they go to.



God Bless
you need to call the cops ASAP and file a report
it should not matter about funds

go and see the prosecuting attorney and tell him what was said, tell him you want a restraining order against your son's father, that you are not sure if he meant that he would put a bullet in you, or in your son, but that you want him to stay away from both of you
Well, have you been telling your son that you were going to have his father put in jail for not paying support? It looks that way to me; I don't really think he would have just said that out of the blue, with no provocation. That's a LITTLE better than your ex saying what he did, but not by much. Neither of you should be putting your kid any more in the middle of this mess than you have to, and that includes making him the middle man for your arguments.



Not only that, but the title of this question led me to believe that he literally threatened to shoot you. But the content of your question was different; he COULD have been threatening to shoot you, but he technically didn't. You'd probably have a hard time taking any kind of action against him just because he made a gun shape with his fingers and said that if he went to jail it would be because of a bullet, but you could always ask your attourney, or even the police, if there's anything that can be done to make sure you are safe.



If it were me, I'd call the guy up and tell him thanks a lot for scaring the crap out my son, you bloody coward, and next time you have something nasty to say, please say it to ME and don't force your son to hear it.

How do you deal when it's your Birthday and your mother is abusive?

My mother has been verbally abusive ever since I could remember but lately it has increased. She'll say anything under the sun. Nothing is off limits. Some of the things that come out of her mouth really would leave you speechless.


Today is my Birthday and I thought maybe she'd give it a rest... no such luck. She woke up today at noon and said a life-less ';Happy Birthday'; she then went on the phone with her boyfriend. She was ';nice'; while talking to her boyfriend then once she got off she started on me. The things she said... I can't even believe this is my mother.


She didn't even get me a card or anything. Meanwhile, on her birthday I went out of my way to get her a really nice cake, flowers, a card and a gift.





I cried most of my Birthday, I know it sounds stupid like some pitty party but I really thought she'd lay off. At least today. Now this has become my birthday.





A lot of my friends aren't in my area and I have become sort of distant from them, my bf is also long distance right now due to school.


What am I suppose to do? a part of me wishes she would just say ';Im sorry'; but she never has. What do I say to her?How do you deal when it's your Birthday and your mother is abusive?
I'm so sorry to hear that! Your mom really isn't living up to what motherhood should be. Kudos to you for taking the high road and showing her that you care about her even when she won't do the same in return. Remember that what she says about you isn't true, and it's not your fault she treats you that way.





Verbal abuse can have the same scarring, sometimes even dangerous effects on the psyche as physical abuse can have on the body, and it's not okay. I'm not sure how old you are, but since it seems you're still in school, I would highly recommend talking to the school guidance counselor about it. That is what she (or he) is there for, and you can reach them through the school's phone number during the summer as well. They will know more options for what you can do than people on Y! Answers.





As for talking to your mom, if it's just normal hurtful things she does, I would say talk to her because maybe she doesn't know how you feel, but if she's directly insulting the person you are 24/7, then it's really beyond that. I think she needs some mental help or something, but that's really out of your control.





Don't listen to her and try not to let her get you down. Next time she talk to you, stop listening and start making plans inside your head for the wonderful life you're going to live when you move out. you can start daydreaming about whether you're going to live closer to your bf and about how often you're going to start seeing each other, what kind of house you want to get, etc. Best wishes on your special day!How do you deal when it's your Birthday and your mother is abusive?
You really need to stop, cut off the caring. Make your own happiness, and surely don't count on her for it. Stop buying her stuff for her birthday, because she doesn't deserve it, and it will not bring you up any levels with her. Get out as soon as you are old enough, and let her know how good it was to have someone with her who at one point cared.
I have the same issue with my mother. She is ALWAYS putting me down. It's hard to deal with. I have 4 siblings and she's nice to them... it's just me she picks on. The second I walk in the room she starts on me.





On my birthday she did the whole ';Oh, by the way, happy birthday I guess'; thing. No hug, no present, no card. Nothing. As soon as she gave me the ';birthday wishes'; she started in on the verbal abuse.





I also spent my birthday crying. Same as every other year. Actually, every day in fact.





I sat down with my mom and told her how I felt. I explained to her that I did not appreciate how she treated me. I told her I'd like to be treated with some respect and that it would be nice to be treated like a human being.





She seemed to listen to it, I can see she's making an attempt to back off a bit... but she still harrasses me. Rome wasn't built in a day, I guess. It helped a bit though. Try talking to her.





Edit: I forgot to add something.





I used to react to her when she'd start in on me. I'd fight back, sometimes yell. Lots of fighting. Something I've been trying lately is just not reacting. If she insults me I'll either walk away or just say ';Oh, thats nice'; or ';Good to know';. People who dish out constant abuse do it because they WANT a reaction. Don't give her what she wants. Just ignore it. It still hurts, but don't let her know it. Do this AFTER talking to her. If you talk to her and she continues, it will be a wake-up call if you just act indifferent.
first answer is right my mother is the same way only it my mother goes on and off. One day she will fuss none stop over nothing or something that happened weeks ago or brings up anything then one day she wants to be nice but that only happens for some hours and she back to b****ing all day. my mother would act like im not even her son and say words that no child should hear from a parent towards them. So now i don't talk to her that much or want to go anywhere with her. One day i treated my mom to the movies and when we were going home she brings up some old **** and then says that's why i don't like going anywhere with you so i stop going places with her and now she wants me to go to Atlantic City with her...... hell no i won't go just to hear her fuss at me for not having fun with her... i can't even go in the casinos cause im not old enough. you should get what im saying i guess we both have to live with this until we can move out on our own.


Happy Birthday!!! You deserve it.
tell ur grandparents or the polioce nobody deservies to go threw this

How do you deal with mother inlaw on your husbands side?

how dose a person deal with someone just because she loves her son? shes mad at me for as she says taking her baby away for crying out load he 22 years old hes a man and needed to grow up what do i do to get her off my case three years laterHow do you deal with mother inlaw on your husbands side?
Do we have the same mother in law?!?!? Eventually either she gets over it or you stop talking to her like us. Just be careful that she doesn't end up trying to break up your marriage like mine did. Get your husband involved! Maybe if you can give her e-mail updates, weekly phone calls or set up a web page on your life or something to keep her involved and show her that you want to keep her as part of your life she won't feel so threatened. Good Luck and hang in there! After 7 years of that and much worse we quit talking to my M-I-L and it has been great!!!How do you deal with mother inlaw on your husbands side?
Move to another town. Good luck!! I had a mamma's boy too and they never cut the apron strings from mommy.
I just avoid and ignore mine!!

It's working well and...........sooooooo peaceful!! ;0)



Good luck!
YOU DO NT
We moved four hours a way. His mom still calls all the time and complains and tells him sob stories he listens but that is it. Before me he used to give her money (his parents are not divorced) pay for her lunches do anything she asked for....but she never did a thing for him. I showed him that is not right there is nothing wrong with helping someone but he is being used. I still get sick of her when we go to visit.....his sister is 10 times worse, and when you put his mom and sister together I want to scream. Move that is the best thing!
well I would hope it is on your husbands side!
if your husband listens to much to his mom than you have to be smart how to convince him to your words without anger nice and sweet the same way try to make the mother in law listen to you instead of she controling your family your husband is young i think at the beginning it happens like that specially when you live together.
Hehe...my man is 38 and I get that same song and dance. Personally, I ignore my MIL - she's a Pain in the A$$ and I'm happy that she's 2000 miles away, but that won't last forever.

If the matter is really bothering you (does your husband know??) - bring it to your man's attention. He may not be aware or if he is, he may not think it's as big a thing as you do. Tell him how you're feeling - maybe he can act as an intermediary.



Most of all: be OPEN! Good luck.
Tell your hubby he needs to act like a man and he needs to tell his mother to knock off the crap and that her behavior will not be tolerated. If she gets mad, too bad. She can get glad the same way she got mad.

How do you deal with going to a pycatrist with your mother?

You have not said which one was the person who was seeing the phycatrist. Is it you that needs it or your mother or both of you? It makes a differance that is why I am asking and you did not give details. I do not know if it is something your mom needs and would like you for her suporrt person or if it is something you need but do not care to go. If it is for your mothers being...go and support her to the fullest...that is your mother and you only get one of them. regaurdless how your relationship is.You will just know you have done right and will feel better within yourself knowing that you did. I fit is for you and you dont want to go...just go...you can loose anything from it and if anything you may see things from a better/ different veiw and come out smiling. If you are the one who needs to go but your mom is going to be there all in your business while you talk...you can ask the doctor for privacy, that you wish for her not to be there.When you are there , it is your chance to say what ever in the world you want to say and no one is suspose to judge you....If I were you I would take up on that oppertunity if theres stuff builing up inside of you. If you honestly dont have anything to say...just make up stuff...say off the wall stuff and give him a good run for his money.Good Luck to you and your mother.How do you deal with going to a pycatrist with your mother?
cause the psychiatrist wants to see both of you together so that they can figure out what the problem is, if you want ask to see them alone too.How do you deal with going to a pycatrist with your mother?
Just be honest!

How do some of you deal with your moms that are like mines?

Example;Mines is too religious,too nosy,always has something negative to say,never positive,gossips about you behind your back,criticizes everything you do or say,talks about her past life 24/7,calls you at almost every hour starting at 6am,leaves silly moody messages and the list goes on.I love my mom i do but sometimes i wonder why me,geeze.How does one deal with a mother who drives you to stress? any advice?How do some of you deal with your moms that are like mines?
Oh god you have noooo idea. My mom thinks she knows everything and she thinks she can choose who I hangout with it's so annoying. Thankfully, my dad is the opposite and helps me alot. I have him talk to her for me, because he can carry on a calm conversation. So I talk to him and he talks to my mom. Another thing I do is just say ';Okay'; to everything my mom says even if she is always trying to pick a fight. Just agree with her. Tell her you love her. She is only doing it to help you be a better person in the future. Dont worry :)How do some of you deal with your moms that are like mines?
wow. sounds like my dad's mom LOL - here's what I do - I try to avoid her as much as possible. If i were you, I'd only accept one of her calls a day - maximum.
step1: change your phone number.

step2: if she manages to call you again, pick it up say ';sorry not taking calls at this hour'; (for the 6am thing';

step3: delete every message you get from her before listening to it.



bottom line - ignore her. If you dont care (which for those kinds of ppl i whouldnt) then ignore her, not like she cares, so drop the issue, and try to live your life without her.
Well see. Mostly every mom gets like that when their kid gets a certain age. Truth of the matter is. She just caress for you. Like. All you have to do is when she tells you to do something. Just smile and say, ';yes mother.'; and walk away. And she will be like..woah. It works. Trust me. All moms are like that. And eventually. You will get through it.

Curious at what point do you grown women stop taking advice from your mothers about how to deal with men?

I mean like at what age generally do you just start going for what you know without anybody elses input or advice?Curious at what point do you grown women stop taking advice from your mothers about how to deal with men?
I never asked my mom's advice about men the way she treated my dad. i saw how she handle men no thank you. i want to love and give respect to the man i will end up with NOT beat the hell out of him. so my answer is I never will and never did ask her for any advice.Curious at what point do you grown women stop taking advice from your mothers about how to deal with men?
Depends on the woman. I stopped in my early 30s but never asked advice from my mom. The best thing I ever did was stop dating men that would require me to ask advice about.
Until they reach the ';age of reasoning'; and are able to decide themselves and not have their parents decide for them.
It depends on the woman...some never stop.



I think I stopped talking to my mom about men when I was about 19 or 20. I dont think I ever asked her advise on anything.
Why would she ever stop? Who can she trust more than her mom?



Of course I am biased, because I got my high school girlfriend based on the advice of her mom. Her mom told her she should date me.
Honestly, I never followed my mother's advice for anything, especially when it came to men. Not that she doesn't matter to me, but to me, she's old fashioned and has a rather proud, paranoid, superiority complex attitude. And that made me not wanna take her advices seriously, she's too much of a drama queen. But again, she trusts my judgement, so, she doesn't feel much to tell me how to be and who to choose.
I Doubt anyone stops considering anyone else's input or advice COMPLETELY. This is generally not how people work. I will always talk to my girlfriends and my mom about guys I'm hooking up with or dating. I Usually do whatever I want to do regardless but i like hearing outside opinions because sometimes we can be blinded by things that are clear red flags when we are in love or lust. I do think I know more about relationships than my mother even though I'm only 20 because she was with the same man all of her life. She and my father met when they were 16 and are still married at 46. So part of me thinks that not only have I dated way more people already, but I also date women so she may not even know how to understand that kind of relationship.



Still, I'm no fool. I always say ';Oh I don't care what anyone thinks'; and I really don't but something is always at the back of my head warning me not to discredit her wisdom. Being 46 has got to count for something right? And sure enough on a number of occasions (About many things not just bfs/gfs) she will say something that reveals something about a person that I never would have noticed. I owe a lot of my ability to read people to my mother because of the talks we have. I still date guys that she wouldn't like me to though but that's just part of the territory. She would prefer me to 1. not date women and 2. get with a christian man. The answer to both those suggestions is always NOOOOOO!



I live in my own apartment but I still talk to my mom everyday so it's bound to come up. She gives advice even when i don't ask for it. lol
Usually when a woman leaves home gets married or lives on her own, whichever comes first. So its hard to say at what age. Any way moms advice maybe old fashion not in step with todays man.
i started it at very young age i guess at 15..i felt it useless cos my mom-dad didnt have good relation so i thought mom wudn't be a good advicer for me abt relations i make..n now at 20 i think i was ryt i'm better thn her...
The first answerer had a good answer.



I never so much took advice as enjoys having someone to commiserate with. ;) I'm sure guys have their guy-chats with their friends about women, so it's not an alien concept. I still have chats with my mom from time to time but I can't say I've ever needed advice from her - I usually have a pretty good idea of how to handle the man in my life. :P
About 13 years ago...and BTW I wouldn't want her advice on ';Dealing with Men';.
I stopped listening to mom at 16, i still get advice from friends, but i pick and choose carefully on whose advice i use.
Very early on. About 12. My mother was the ';put your man on a pedestal'; type. Every problem in a marriage was the woman's fault - either she didn't have sex often enough or didn't put her man first, etc etc.

It was a joke. Especially as my father was a womanising drunkard who treated my mother like a doormat. Not that I blame him - she thought you could buy love by being submissive.

It's not true.
I'd say I quit at 13/14. Then started taking advice from friends, then at 23 quit taking advice from anyone. My mother and I aren't close. At all.
I never asked my mother for advice on how to deal with men, and she would have been unlikely to offer it if I had asked for it. She thought everyone should do their own thing.
One is never too old to receive advice. Learning is a life-long process. Nor should one shy away from taking advice from someone younger. One should not follow advice blindly, but an opinion given in good faith by a person who cares about you should always be taken into consideration.

How would you deal with the father(or mother) of your child cussing you out in front of the baby?

My daughter's father isn't the most mature person. When he got upset yesterday,he cussed me out in front of our daughter. Though I really couldn't do too much at that point in time,I still want to talk to him about.



I need help in what I should say,do and how to approach him.How would you deal with the father(or mother) of your child cussing you out in front of the baby?
Children are sponges, they don't miss a thing, even though you may think they're not paying attention all the time ... they are. When you can see he's getting upset just put your hand up and say, ';Not in front of our daughter, can we talk somewhere else?'; When my husband and I split up we approached everything with the question: What's best for the children? You can't go wrong if you've always got their best interest at heart.How would you deal with the father(or mother) of your child cussing you out in front of the baby?
well, if i were still with him and it wasn't a one-time thing, i would walk. i don't commit my life to people like that.



if i weren't still with him, i would wait until a calm time presented itself and ask him if we could make a commitment to speak maturely around the baby since otherwise it will not only scare and confuse the child but also likely end up with the child adopting the same behaviors. and the next time he started doing it in front of the child i'd tell him we needed to take it in another room.
As long as he does it and you take it you are teaching her that it's okay to be treated like that and ok for men to treat women like that. It has to stop or you need to leave. Don't approach him when he's angry but you 2 need to communicate.
tell him the next time he needs ';discuss'; something with you in a less that child friendly way, he needs to do it privately, NOT in front of the child. it is very unhealthy for children to see their parents arguing like that. also, tell him he shouldn't be cussing you out anyways, that's ridiculous.
get over it. part of life. thats why i wanna marry my skeleton so i dont deal with that cause i doubt he would ever cuss me out.
well try the basic method talk to him make sure the baby isn't around because he may get mad and cuss more also if that doesn't help try to get him to go to anger management and if that doesn't work move out and leave him because it could escalate to violence
I remember all too well the pick-ups and drop offs with my husband and his ex gf. They were RIDICULOUS. She would be up his *** from the second we arrived to the second we drove away. She didn’t give a damn that her 2.5 yr old daughter was right there.



I’ll never forget the one time we drove 2 hrs to drop her off (because they moved further away from us) and her mother pulled up just looking for a fight. She got out of the car, started running her mouth, and my stepdaughter was in the car with me and looking out the window. She started to get sad and I HATE getting involved but felt I had to at this point. I said to both of them, that they need to stop talking RIGHT NOW, because their daughter was getting upset. There’s a time and a place, and it’s NOT NOW. And that was directed at both of them, my husband included. She got so mad for me speaking up she pretty much pulled my stepdaughter out of the car and squealed her wheels as she drove away. Awesome and mature…really it was!



So from that point forward, my husband and I made a deal. If she raises her voice or runs her mouth, simply say “I’m not fighting with you here” and walk away. Get in the car and drive away. She can get as angry as she wants, she can blow up our phone, but until BOTH have calmed down and neither are around their daughter, then that’s just the way it goes.



I don’t think there really is a good way to say it to your ex. Because it sounds like it won’t matter to him. But I think you should just say that you do NOT agree to fighting, raising voices, or discussing anything in front of your child. And that from this point forward, if he attempts to do that, you’re just going to walk away. Because again, there’s a time and a place and it is NOT in front of your child. End of discussion.



Good luck – sounds like you’ll need it.
I'd slap the sh!t out of my ex for talking to me that way! He's a jerk anyhow.



I say beat him. He doesn't have the right to talk to you like that. Women have rights too!

im thinking of starting a cult

How do you deal with your soon to be mother- in law?

My soon to be mother in law always seems to get keys to our place. No matter how many times I try to use euphemisms to let her know that it is okay to stay a day or two -not weeks on end! She pops up out of the blue and tries to tell me( 24) and my fiancee(26) how to do everything: clean, care for our kids, and operate our relationship! It Is killing me inside , because I see how my fiancee just allows her mom to do this stuff!!! I hate it. The other day she was telling her that I shouldn't say *** anywhere around MY DAMN KIDS!!!!!!!! And that I should stop being involved with my kids if I don't work on myself!!!! UHHHHHHH!! I am working on not saying that word, but don't tell me I am a bad father, because I slip now and then! I am just sick and tired of her coming around '; out of the blue';, like she knows it all!!!!!!!How do you deal with your soon to be mother- in law?
if this woman is your fiance and the mother of your children...then TALK TO HER!. Let her know that you love your mother in law to be, but that her constant presence and nagging is begining to make you upset and uneasy and its begining to make you resent your fiance. Ask that she maybe come over on saturdays to spend tiem with you and her grandchildren, but thats it. or maybe she can pick them up after school and leave when an adult gets home...come up with a real solution. just let your fiance know that its not that you want her ou tof your life, its just that she is constantly there and you cannot take the nagging and judging. Its not fair to you or your relationship...and your realtionship will begin to suffer if she doesnt back off...



if talking ot your fiance doesnt work...then take her mom out to lunch and talk...explain that you care abtou ehr and her daughter but that there needs to be boundaries because you feel suffocated. Ask if her mother or mother in law was that present when she was caring for her kids and getting married...i bet not...so why is she doing it to you guys? say that you understand her need to be around her grandchildren...and you will try to accomodate her, but that it is unreasonable for her to judge YOUR parenting styles...How do you deal with your soon to be mother- in law?
i believe this is something u have to talk to your wife about ..let her know how u feel about her mom coming around and the problems she causes when she stays for many days.. let your wife know that u and her are married ..and are well adults to know and decide on your own problems and most of all u two decide on the up bring of your kids.. your mother needs to cut the string loose of her daughter.. she isnt a baby no more... good luck
First off you need to sit down with your fiance and make sure you guys are on the same page. If not, boy have you got a problem. If you are, great. Since it is a soon to be monster-in-law, I would have you and fiance to have a sit down, without kids around. Let fiance and mom do most of talking, your just there for moral support. Let her know this is ya'lls house, rules, ways of cleaning, etc. She needs to call whenever coming over to make sure ya'll don't have any plans. Ask her to respect ya'lls house and rules. Kill her with kindness. No loud mouthing or obscenities. Calmness will greatly intimidate her, especially if you are usually loud. Good luck.
First you have to learn to be patient ,stay focused on the fact that she is the mother of your soon to be wife. You must realize that know man will ever be good enough for her, therefore you have to prove yourself worthy, so pray and ask GOD to give you want it takes to make it work, i'm sure your wife is worth that. Be blessed my friend!!!
You and you wife need to discuss this. She really needs to know you feel as if your home is being invaded and you're very uncomfortable. Your mother in law doesn't need to stay weeks on end, and you don't have to be mean to your wife about it, but you can discuss making plans for the visits... weeks is too much.



So, after talking with your wife, you need to let your mother in law know how you feel, too. Your home, your rules, your way. She already raised her own kids and she really needs to give advice only when asked...



ugh, i feel for you

How do you deal with your child's mothers/fathers partner?

Hi i am single and have a 8 month old baby , His dad has a new girlfriend who will be there when our baby see's his dad.

I would love to know how people deal with this situation and whats a good way to look at it.

Im sort of ok with it, well I have to be really !

Does anyone know any good ways to deal with it ?

I just need to get my head around it but how ?please help !How do you deal with your child's mothers/fathers partner?
Been there, wore the t-shirt. ;)



First and foremost, you MUST meet this woman. It would be great to feel her out and develop an impression of her before your baby will be around her for long periods of time. It would also be wonderful if you could develop somewhat of an amicable relationship with her. Trust me, it only makes things easier for all.



On the other hand, if she rubs you the wrong way, or has bad habits that you don't want your child subjected to, speak up too. But don't borrow trouble. Only raise the concern if there is a valid one.



As long as your ex is happy and your baby is in good hands and well taken care of, I wouldn't worry about it.

Just move on in a positive way, without him, and I'm sure when you're ready, you'll find someone as well!



Take care hon, and good luck with everything!How do you deal with your child's mothers/fathers partner?
Just imagine how you want your ex to act when you start to date and he has to leave the baby with you and the new guy.
Get along with her because she is going to be alone some day with your son and you don't want her to take things out on him. Besides, his dad is going to have to deal with the fact that you will son have a new man in your life, now imagine how he will feel.



If you even hint at a problem with his new gf, he will think you're jealous and then that's when you'll get the ';BABY MOMMA DRAMA'; label. Do you want that?
Just be polite and friendly to her. Have neutral conversations with her (the weather, her job, you like her sweater, etc). I know it will be a tad weird, but give it a shot. And if she is polite and friendly to you in return, the three of you will be able to get along fine, which would be wonderful considering your son.
part of live when parenting separately, each of you have your own life now..
Well if at all possible, the best thing to do for the baby is to be friendly with this woman. She's going to be a part of his life and the more harmonious his environment is, the more happy and well-adjusted he will be.



My aunt married a man who had a child from a previous relationship and she ended up being great friends with his ex, which was great for the kid. It's possible, you just have to open yourself up to the idea.
I'm the 'girlfriend' in this scenario. My husband has a child with another woman and for months his ex wouldn't allow him to see his son with me present. When she did finally allow it she was funny with me, wouldn't ever let me meet her or discuss things important to his son with her, would diss me behind my back etc and I put it down to her being uncomfortable seeing her ex with another girl. When we got married it became more of an issue and because of this we see his son sporadically which isn't good on us or the child. We can't forge a bond with his son because we only see him when it's good for her and she keeps threatening to go to a solicitor.



Basically, everything she's doing to us, don't do to them. If you take the child away and then give him back, say they can have him and then they can't etc it will cause resentment and major problems between you and the baby's father. If there's still feelings for the father of the child there, that's something you will have to work out on your own but you need to know that the father of your baby won't allow anything bad or anyone bad around him, that he will protect your son and sometimes his new girlfriend is going to be a part of his life. It's going to be hard but as long as she knows her boundaries ie. not teaching your son to call her mum and as long as the baby's father knows his boundaries there shouldn't be a problem.



If it's at all possible, try to get on solid civil terms with your ex's new girlfriend. She'll feel more comfortable and so will you once you realise she's not a threat to your baby. I wouldn't advise this if you still have feelings for your ex but you should still try and build a rapport.

Can you tell me your worst mother in law stories?

My mother in law is paranoid schizophrenic. She is manipulative, liar, she acts like a victim, controlling, etc, etc, etc. She pounds at my door two times a day, every single day. talks bad about me to the neighbors, has slapped my arm, she is MEAN! Anyways, I want to know your stories, does anybody else deal with a paranoid schizophrenic mother in law? How do you deal with it? Is your husband/wife supportive? My husband understands me.Can you tell me your worst mother in law stories?
My mother-in-law was a Paranoid Schizophrenic. We actually moved in with her at one point, when the kids were very small, so we could be close and make sure she was ok. She had just been released from a hospital after the neighbors called the police when she went door to door telling them all that she was the Virgin Mother...Naked. (Swear to Gawd....you just can't make stuff like this up.)



During the year or so that we lived in that house I had so many surreal encounters with her that I could write a book. I was physically attacked by her, she told our daycare provider that I was molesting the kids, she told everyone who would listen that I was a lesbian and I brought women into the house through the basement when my husband wasn't home. She often seemed to be devoting her life to making mine as difficult as possible. We ended up getting the house next door, so we could remain close, but still have some privacy. We had to do something to preserve our own sanity and allow our kids to have friends over without having to worry about what she might say or do.



Before we moved out, I had one especially strange encounter with my mother-in-law. My husband was gone with the kids. He took them out so I could get some rest because I had worked a double shift and I was dead on my feet. So I'm laying in bed sleeping, and some kind of noise wakes me up. When my eyes focus I see 8 police officers standing there with my mother-in-law...all with their hands kinda resting on their guns. I asked them what was going on...and they asked me if I owned a gun. I do...so I said yes. They asked me if the gun was loaded. It was...as an unloaded gun is pretty much useless...so I told them yes. They instructed me to remain still with my hands where they could see them, and direct them to the location of the gun. They got the gun then had me get up so they could talk to me. Turns out that my mother-in-law had called 911 and told them that my husband had taken the kids and left, and I was depressed and had a gun, and she was afraid I was going to either kill myself or her.



It took me a very long time to come to terms with the reality that she didn't have control over the things her mind did. She wasn't making things up. She just didn't live in the same reality as we do. My husband understood it all...and he helped me to learn to see it for what it was and not to take it personally. That's the key to dealing with it. You have to remember that its not personal. They really do think and feel the things they say they think and feel. My mother-in-law died 3 years ago and I miss her very much. There was a time I would have told you that you were nuts if you had suggested that I would miss her when she was gone. But...I do.

How Do you Deal with the Death of your Mother?

I grew up in a Religious Family. I was the Only Child. My Mom and Dad and I are very close.



Mom Worked in a Hospital, and Volunteered her time as a Fireman on the Side. She was always Helping other People

She Was a Wonderful Faithful Mother as well as a Great

Wife and Companion for Dad



She Fell ill with a Rare Blood Disease called TTP

and with in 7 Days Passsed Away despite all our efforts

to save her.



After She passed Away, I have had Very Comforting Dreams about her life, and I have had visions of her in Heaven.

I know with out a shadow of a Doubt that she is in Heaven

but I still Feel a Great loss



In Police Work I experienced Death almost Everyday

However, this death really took me by surprise.



Can anyone give me any tips on how to cope with this Great Loss that me and My Father Suffered?





I am only 35 and Still single, and Mom Died at a Young age of 55



Please let me knowHow Do you Deal with the Death of your Mother?
My mom had the same problem. She's 35, I'm 15.

She's a police officer too.

Her mom just died not too long ago.

Best thing to NOT do:

Don't commit suicide. or attempt.

That's what she did.

And now she's lost her job. She has a new one now, but not the best idea.

I'm not the biggest religious person, but everyone needs to know:

There's a reason for it.

God maybe wanted you to be stronger for some kind of 'mission' he needs you for.

And if your distracted by these things, and lose hope, you can't complete the mission.

God loves you, me, All of us.

It's just wether or not you love him back enough to endure everything he, or anyone else throws at you.

As for the dreams..Seeing such wonderful things. It might mean something.

You never know.

..I don't know if I helped much.

I'm kinda in a...Depression mood myself.

But it's all good in time.

^^How Do you Deal with the Death of your Mother?
TALK AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. get help! talk to your family and friends, talk with HER friends who worked with her every day. PEACE.
I dont have any tips except to share your feelings with your father, and be happy that she knew you loved her.
Join a support group..........being with others and sharing your grief will make it a little easier......
My dear: no one ever gets over the death of their mom, time just moves on. I'm sure your mon would want you to move on. Keep praying!
My condolences.



A quick and very helpful read is ';How to Survive the Loss of a Love';. It applies to not only spouses, but the death of any close family member or friend.
ooooooo!! i almost had goosebumps reading this becuase right now im ALWAYS worried something will happen to my parents especially mom, thats a problem im trying to get over, and based on your belief i believe your mom is in heavy too, at least you know she will never be hurt again, she can eat anything she wants without getting full without choking without gaining weight, shes probably running around having so much fun then anybody can imagine. just try to remind yourself that shes better off with God instead of on this dangerous miserable hating waraholic sickness global warming world, shes away from all that.



you say youre 35, youll see her again, in like 70 to 80 years lol. but i know its easier said then done, just pray that God will heal you, i read a verse that says hes closer to the brokenhearted ones.
aww. sympathy to you. %26lt;333 ill prayer for your family. %26lt;333



write down the memories of her! dont ever lose the paper/book. have it laminated. trust me. remember her smell. if you want.. keep her perfume. keep videos and things of her to see her smile. dont ever forget her. you can never think of the negatives. she was a good person. family %26amp;%26amp; friends should help out! i really do pray for you. think your the only one going through hell??



there was a family of 3 girls... and a SINGLE mother in my school. the oldest of 20 yrs, the middle was in 10th grade and the other was in my grade [[ 9th ]]. ... the oldest and the middle one got in a car crash (( their only car )) and it wasnt either of them driving. they were GOING TO SCHOOl. the engine went into the oldest of all 3 girls. she died and the other was in the hospital but she survived. y0u are going through hell... but damn atleast you knew it was coming :[ pray for them. %26lt;3333 i really am sorry for your loss.
You have my deepest sympathy. I haven't experienced a loss such as yours; however, being forty-three and living with my mom who is sixty three----I find that I get depressed just thinking about losing her as I know someday I will.

I doubt there's a magic word or advice to be given except to cherish all those special memories you had with her and keep her alive by talking about her and to her. I wish you well.
you will feel great grief for a while sounds like your mother was an angel. just by remembering all the good times you had with your mum and talking to friends and or family about it you will eventually start to feel better your just going through the motions of grieving just remember your mum may be gone in body but she'll always be watching over you and your dad and will be there with you always.
there is no secret to dealing with a loss through death. Time will lesson the pain, but the memory will not go away.



Best to talk, remember and sort through the emotions, and pain- full feelings. Sometimes in groups, sometimes one on one, sometimes alone, possibility through writings. She sounds like she had many people who valued her. Know that all those fond precious memories are out there, along with your own.



Slowly make changes to continue your life. The best way to deal with her loss is to make sure you continue living and doing good, a tribute to her life that she led.



I am very sorry for your loss.
its very hard when you lose someone so dear, but in time it will get better try to think of the best times and be positive god love you we all feel for you so don't think your alone

RyanX
Dealing with this kind of problems

is not easy, special when it has to do with very

close amily members or friends.

To me, your mom seemed to be a very wonderfull

woman, full of life and very caring.

But as all we know, death comes at unexpected moments

and all of the sudden what seemed color turns into black and white.

But you know, you need to be strong, cause maybe your mom is watching you from heaven and doesn't want you to suffer no more for her, but still remember her and no matter what, still be the same person you were before the loss.

You are still young, and you should be happy that your mother didn't suffer the loss of her only child, as many moms do everyday, for ANY mother, the worst that could happen to them is dying when their children is young and still have alot to experience.

I know it's pretty painful at the start, but you need to recover your heart, i know that those wounds will not heal so fast, still they will heal, and somehow at that very moment you will feel

as you did before.

Take care.
My dear, I am very sorry for your loss.



It is good that you come from a religious family. It helps to remember that God in His infinite Wisdom will arrange our lives in the best way, better than anything we would want for ourselves or our loved ones. Its good that you have had comforting dreams of your mother, and perhaps it would also help your father if you share those dreams with him.



We cannot avoid feeling a great loss after having someone with us for 35 years. In this instance, time is the greatest healer. Do not try to forget your mother. However, do not force yourself to remember either. She has been with you for so long, it would be impossible to forget. Do all the things in life, remembering that your mother would not want you to wallow in grief or cut yourself away from life or change in any way from the kind of person that she has brought you up to be, the kind of person that she saw growing in front of her eyes until the day she died.



Live your life with joy, knowing that she has helped you to become the person that you are now. Your mother is a part of you, and lives on through you. If you have children, then your mother will continue living on through the values that you teach your children to uphold.



It will also help if you do not isolate yourself from others, especially during the times when you feel saddest. Do not remove yourself from the community, friends or other relations that you have around you. You did not tell me what religion you are, so I do not know your faith, but I am sure there is a community around you who share your faith and can keep you and your father strong in your time of need. The fact that you are posing this question here is also good, because you are reaching out.



Above all else, never, ever, ever blame God. I hope that you will continue to grow strong (which is probably one of the reasons God visits on us many trials and suffering) and live your life in your true faith.
everyone deals their own way, i could give u suggestions on how to cope but it may not be enough for you to hear. Time is the only thing thats makes it easier, it never goes away but will get easier. Sounds like she was a WONDERFUL woman, try dedicating someing in her name and memory, like a plaque the the fire department or church. Make a special garden with all her favorite flowers and always remember the good things about her!



IM very sorry to hear about your loss, i havent been through it yet but i would imagine its very hard.
I lost my mother 8 years ago. I was 16. The only thing I can say is to keep her memory alive! Thats what I do. I now have children and all the things that I wish she was here to see. I keep her memory alive by talking about her with my children, and showing them pictures of her. Just know that she is on your shoulder everyday, and that one day you will see her again! I am so sorry for your loss!
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your Mom. Although my Mom is still alive, my father passed away six years ago.



I would suggest spending time with God and telling Him how you feel, and letting Him comfort you. When you feel like crying, don't hold it back, as it is healing to cry.



It does take time to heal. I'll pray that God will comfort you and fill that place of loss.



I'm enclosing a few links - they aren't specific dealing with grief, but they may be comforting.
Firstly I'm truly sorry for yourself and your family's loss. To be honest it will take time and the only real way you will cope is when your strong enough to do so. I too am a christian and believe God has brought us to this earth to fulfil our purpose. When God created your mother her purpose was to be a good mother and loving wife who cared not only for her family but people to. To know your mother has touched so many lives with her kindness has to be one of the best feelings in the world. As a result your sadness is natural as she truly was an angel sent from heaven. I know it's hard but God will get you through this. God bless you and your family always.
Sounds like you are very proud of all your mother accomplished and love her very much. Your ability to share your feelings is a great start. You sound like a very devoted and wonderful son.



Unfortunately, this is such a horrible loss and you have been through a trauma that will take you a long time to feel ok about it. The biggest thing is to try to function in your life while you are dealing with this. You will have good days and bad days. When you are having a bad day the best thing you can do is let the people in your life know. You are going to have to allow yourself the time to grieve and feel sad.



The other thing you may want to do is find a way to honor your mom and her life with your dad. For example, take time to tell each other funny/good stories about your mom, volunteer together somewhere that she did, light a candle for her, pray together, look through photo albums together... talk to each other and be there for each other.



It is also a good idea to talk to a counselor that specializes in grief and loss.



The answer you don't want to hear is that this will take time.



Blessings to you and your dad.
Think of sorrow as you do the ocean... when you go into the ocean just to relax or to float.. think of sorrow that way as it approached you. Turn sideways to avoid being overwhelmed by the wave of sorrow.. and just float along as it passes by you.. rise up with it and then do not forget it will gently let you down so your feet can touch the ground. Then..get out of the waves. Find something else to do that distracts you. Eventually you will find that with practice.. sorrow won't be so difficult.



God bless you and do not worry about your mom. I am sure she is with God.
I think that your real ? is will u die at 55?

U no I fl if we believe in something, we

give it life. Now if u think that u wil die

as your Mother did, it`s possible that

you will, but u say u have FAITH! Use

it, and tell yourself that u won`t. Evn ppl that r dying should not live their life as if they were. Get out there and do something that will make a significant differance in some one`s life .( NeOne`s) So that when u do expire, u will be remembered as your mother is. U c thru u she still live`s, and so can u! THRU SOMEONE ELSE. Don`t just sit there scaring yourslf,greet it doing something that u LOVE! Sewing, Singing, Dancing,Loving, Running, Rock Climbing,Chasing Tornadoes or Volcanoes.

Live your life honey! When it`s your time to go, u will. When our # is called, just changing phone #`s won`t make it go away.

GL to u and your Father, and God has Blessed your Mother. What more can u ask for. Our time here is limited. I just hope whn I go someone opt`s to remember me as u have your mother. Look at me, the day I found out abt my Father was the day he was buried. U c I nvr spnt 1 da with my Father, but u had evry da with ur MOTHER.

LIV YOUR LIFE HONEY, THAT WILL BE YOUR TRIBUTE TO YOUR MOTHER!!!!!
It always hurts when you lose someone,I have been there I lost a woman that took the place of my mother and the relationship I was in he would not even let me go to her funeral but my heart is at rest for I had got to see her two weeks before she died and we cleared the air and I rest knowing shes in heaven with the Lord and One day I will see again,healing is going to take time,just keep her memories all around you and rest in the fact you will see her again one day and apply all the good she taught you and finish out her dream make her proud of you and go on with living I will keep you in my prayers I am sorry about your loss Be blessed Lisa
Share your feelings and talk about her as much as possible. Keep the love and memories and the good times alive. There are always going to be hard times. Don't be afraid to cry.