People who have no relationship with their mother...for whatever reason....?

You only get one mom. You may never meet her. You may lose her. She might be one, if not, the most important person in your life. Regardless of how she is in your life, she's in there somewhere....even if she's dead...she's in your head.

It's really hard not having a relationship with your mother. I want so badly to have a mother-daughter relationship where I could just open up to my other, trust her, come home and cry in front of her, she could give me advice, and solve any problem...make anything better. I don't and that's very hard for me. I feel like my mother is mentally ill, but my disrespect could have led to our relationship crumbling. Whatever the cause....here we are. there is no more relationship. it's really very difficult. I know I might sound selfish to someone reading this who doesn't have a mother. You might feel like I don't understand. I feel like you don't understand- the only thing worse than losing someone is sitting right next to them knowing you can't have them. So close but so far away.

How do you deal with not having a relationship with your mother?

Any personal experiences where you don't have a relationship (for whatever reason) with your mother? Please share...People who have no relationship with their mother...for whatever reason....?
I could have written a similar letter back in January. At that time, I hadn't talked to my mother in over eight years. Hadn't seen her in 13 (she lives in Alaska, I'm on the southeast coast). We'd had a really stupid argument on the phone that wasn't worth it at all. Honestly, she quit talking to all of her family around that time, and I was wondering if she wasn't mentally ill. Her brothers hadn't heard from her, neither had my brother.



I can totally validate your feelings. You want to be have someone to open up to, and to hold you when you cry. You want to be able to share personal stuff. And seeing movies or TV shows where the mom and daugther have a good relationship really sucked. Hell, I would have been happy to have the relationship that Peggy Bundy had with her daughter on Married with Children.



She moved away from the last address, and when I wanted to reach out to her, I couldn't. I didn't even know where to look. Nobody knew where she went. I started scanning the obituaries and stuff in the newspaper for the town where she used to live. I did finally find her and sent her a Christmas card. Her husband contacted me and was the one to help mend the rift.



I actually saw her back in July. I've only talked with her on the phone twice since then. We're healing the relationship, but definitely not close.



So - what did I do for a mother figure? Found other women who were older and wiser than me, and forged relationships with them. I was very honest about the fact that I didn't have a mom in my life. These women, bless them, made sure that I had that hug every time I saw them.



I hope you are able to mend the relationship with your mom, and I certainly hope that happens sooner than 8 years. Hugs to you!People who have no relationship with their mother...for whatever reason....?
My Mom and I used to be close but now that I have grownup it has changed.



I wish she would listen to what I have to say more,defend me. But she don't she takes my brother side for whatever reason,she blames me for everything.



There are times when I can't stand her becuase of the NO respect I get. There are days when I wish our relationship was the way it used to be and sometimes I wish she was like other mothers who listen ad respect their kids.



I do Love my Mom but sometimes I just can't stand her.
I do have a great relationship with my mom, but I've met people who don't. Their reasons are varied. It's hard to imagine, but there are a lot of people that grow up to be so different from one (or even both) of their parents, that they cannot relate to them anymore.



If your mother is indeed mentally ill, I think that you have two choices: (a) Make a conscious choice that you are not going to be upset by anything that she might say, especially due to the illness (b) push to have her properly diagnosed and treated.



If your mother is not mentally ill, and you would like to have a relationship with her, ask her if she would meet with you initially for a short time. Tell her over coffee that you regret the way that things have gone, and that you would like to try again. Tell her that while you may disagree on things, you would like to be able to see her from time to time. You want her to be a part of your life, and to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. Where there is disagreement, agree to disagree, and move on to the next topic. Any time that you feel an argument brewing, find a way to acknowledge her opinion without giving in, and change the subject. Hopefully she will pick up on the fact that you are trying hard to keep things together, and she will calm down. Good luck.
Sometimes a relationship with your biological mother doesn't work.



My mom was famous, distant, and very cruel.



I have had three foster mothers, (honorific, not formal or legal) and I watched them like a hawk to learn how to act like a real mother.



Find a woman of the same age as your mother who cares about you and have a relationship with her.



Lots of women are happy to adopt extra daughters.



I tend to ';adopt'; all my female voice students.



Find a surrogate mother, and have a real relationship with her.



It will be good for both of you.



If the real one is not available for whatever reason, go find a spare.



It saved my life.
As I was growing up, my mother regularly beat the crap out of me. My dad knew about it, even took me to doctor to be sewn up, but didn't do anything to stop it. I couldn't wait to leave home. I actually left when I was 16 yr old. (this was in 1957) I got a job, rented a room, finished high school, worked my way through college on the 6 yr plan, and went to grad school. I would go back for holidays and such, because of my younger brothers. But I never moved back home and never had a relationship with my mother after I left.



I have worked extra hard to have a great relationship with my children and grandchildren.
iff i write what i want to about my mother, this account will probably get suspended like my other one.



Jess M.



and i had 4000 points.. god dammit.