How do you deal with the day your baby was suppose to be born?

I lost my baby a few months back, on April 5, 2008, I was suppose to give birth to my first child.

We have been doing fertility for so long, I am just really hurting that after all of this we are now starting over.

The babys room is just perfect, and my mind and heart are finally open to being a mother.

How does one deal with the last few weeks of what would have been your ninth month?

My heart hurts, and I am just so sad!

Im not a young chick anymore and I feel like that was it, especially after hearing your not pregant so many times now.

IVF was not easy, now what? :( I just feel no hope.How do you deal with the day your baby was suppose to be born?
You are blessed to reach out. Don't lose hope and don't let that sadness swallow you, as it will if you give it too much power or permission to control you. Your feelings of sadness and loss are so valid, and time will gradually lessen their grip on you. Remember times in your life where you were so sad and couldn't imagine it would end, and remember that it did end. And it will end again. You will find joy again. Try to do things that you enjoy and that take you outside of your head. Try to have fun, if you can. I know, as I am experiencing a loss right now that is weighing me down all day, until I put myself in a situation where I am in a community activity, or listening to something that engages me, so that I am able to get out of my head and take a break from my sorrow. You have experienced loss. But you are not that loss. You will have other experiences. Talk to your partner and friends about all your thoughts on your loss. I think it is important to honor the day that your baby was supposed to be born, just that you are aware of its spirit, and its gift it gave to you. The pregnancy, however long it was, still left you with gifts that are positive, I am sure, outside of the loss. An awareness of your connection and the miracle of life--to know what your mom felt.

And don't rush yourself--wait until you feel healed and resolved again to take on the energy of getting pregnant again. Your spirit will be renewed if you so desire (look at nature--it is always renewing). Don't lose hope!!! I will pray for you, too.How do you deal with the day your baby was suppose to be born?
I am so so sorry for your loss.

Your story made me cry :(

I have never experienced such a loss, and I pray that I never do. It is horrible that anyone has to experience something so tragic and heartbreaking. I'm sorry. Just have hope and keep trying. You deserve to be a mother so you can share the love you obviously have for others.

I will pray for you.
Oh my, that is seriously heartbreaking. I do not have issues with fertility, but I can understand how desperate you are for a child right now.



I am so sorry for your loss, and I am sure that you know that there is nothing ANYONE can say to help.



I am sure you have tried Clomid, and have you had testing, to see what the issue is?



I,again, am sorry for your loss.
i'm sooooooooooooo sorry hun. i've had 1 lost baby and it hurt and onlytime can heal.i hope your able to try again. i did and had a beautifull little girl.. good luck and god bless
Wow, I hope your dreams come true soon. Loss of a child is not an easy thing to get through for anybody. Don't give up you will be a mommy one way or another. I hope you get some professional support, it sounds like you may be depressed, as anybody would be. Just find somebody to talk to, a friend, clergy, sister etc. Try not to focus on the day your baby was going to be born, think about the day you are going to hold your child in your arms!
Celebrate her birthday in your own way. Try to remember that she's watching you. Light a candle and think of what her wish might be. Maybe her wish might be to see you happy and full of joy for her brothers and sisters that will become her family. Plant a tree so that your family photos can have a symbol of her in them and you have a peaceful place to sit and relax.



She knows you miss her and she must feel the same. But she is secure in the fact that you will join her in your own time. Try to have that same faith - in yourself. Your life is becoming exactly what it's meant to become, and it will continue to do so.



Sometimes we forget to LOOK for the joy in what we already have. Create a happy place for a child's soul to grow.
Your story really broke my heart and brought me to tears. I am so sorry that you are going through this. But keep in mind that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we don't know the reason and only God knows it. Also, keep in your mind that God is with you as you are going through your pain. As for your question, I know this is easier said than done, but try to deal with it like any other day. Try not to think about it as the day your baby was supposed to be born on. Consider that you don't know the date, because most babies are not born on their estimated delivery date, and if you had not lost your child, he/she would not have been born on this particular day most likely. I don't agree with celebrating this day because it's just going to put you in more pain. Acting as though it is just like any other day does not mean that you have forgotten your baby, so push those thoughts away from your mind.

All the best. You are in my prayers. I hope you get what you want and that God helps you through your pain.
Hi.



I come to look for you, you recently anwsered my question and your reply had a great impact on me, and really hit home and I want to thank you for that.

It is woman like you that have helped me made the choice I did about my unplanned pregnancy and woman like you who help me to embrace it.

You truelly deserve to be a mother, and although I cant give you any advice on how to deal with your lose there is one thing I want you to know, through your pain you are managing to reach out and touch people, well you certaintly did for me. I truelly believe good things happen to good people and I pray for you that some way some how you become the mother you deserve to be,