How do you deal with your bf's mother if she doesn't like you from the outset?

My boyfriend's mother had a grudge against me before we even met, due to past relationships with her daughter's ex boyfriend! She believes that I was horrible to her daughter when I was dating her ex and believes that i am a horrible person, when in fact is was my ex bf (her daughter's ex bf) who was the vindictive person! Her perception of me is wrong and yet she still bears a grudge!Her son (my bf) is really happy with me, and yet she never asks how we are doing or what we have been doing together!And also my bf never helps matters by stating the truth about her perception is wrong and by stressing the fact that he is happy! What can i do? I have met her on numerous occasions and my bf's sister seems to like me and believes that I was never horrible to her and that it was our ex her was stirring matters in the past!Help!!How do you deal with your bf's mother if she doesn't like you from the outset?
ask him to ask her what the issue is.



learn to live with it.



good luck.How do you deal with your bf's mother if she doesn't like you from the outset?
just be yourself... good luck :)

Report Abuse

Get another boy friend...this one is not worth the hassle.
Prove to her that you're an ok sort of person, don't ever give her cause to hate you, she will come round
tell ur bf to tell his mom the true story, and if she still have grudge against u, then leave him, his not woth it
all you can do is ask to sit down with her and have a cool 1-1 chat and be honest with her, if she see's the real you then it will most likely change her view of you?

however after a chat if she still feels the same get your boyfriend to have a 1-1 with her and see how it goes from there
Nothing you can do. Sounds like she has made her mind up.
I feel so sorry for you, I had doubts about meeting my boyfriends parents as he's quite a bit older than me and I thought they might not be happy with him seeing a younger woman, I couldnt have been more wrong though, we got on like a house on fire and so sweet and welcoming.



You need to sit down with your boyfriends mum and talk to her, ask her what the problem is and get things out in the open, it will be difficult but without that things can only get worse. You also need to explain your fears to your boyfriend, he should be helping you by bigging you up to his mother.
She appears to be from the ignorant persuasion.Understand and realize that her liking you has no real bearing ON YOUR LIFE.In other words let it go.There's no fool like an old fool.Don't let her old foolishness bring you down.THAT WOMAN DOESN'T MATTER!
Hmmm...perhaps just try to ignore her prejudgment and be happy with your boyfriend. After all, we aren't talking about a mother-in-law here, only a boyfriend's mom. Mother's are very protective of their offspring's relationships, even into adulthood, where they really can get uptight because they worry that the relationship will advance to marriage with an unsuitable mate. My mother-in-law has always been rather cold to me no matter what I've done. Whether I've been wrong and got out of line with my husband's side of the family or shown total respect, it hasn't mattered. So I just gave up thinking and worrying about her opinion. We've been in love for 31 years now, so see, true love can conquer all! P.S. Don't be too hard on your boyfriend for not trying to dissuade her opinion of your relationship--he knows his mother more than you ever will and that it'll only stir up a lot of crap. He sounds like an OK guy to me. Good luck :)
first of all,tell your bf to tell his mother everything about you.if she acts ridiculous,try having a delightful chat with her..make her feel that you are the right girl...forget your ego for a time..if she still has a problem with you,kick her *** nicely and leave your bf...he's not worth it.
dont worry about anyone but yourself and your boyfriend your with him.if they dont like it tough s*** ,tell them to get use to it