My husband is 26 and we have been together for 5 years and married for 2. I have a college education, a career, and I own a house that will be paid off in a few months. We are very happy together and plan to start our family no matter what her reaction is.
I am not sure if she feels she is too young to be a grandma or she thinks I will make the same mistakes as her. She had two children by the time she was 21 and was divorced at 23. I am not going to turn out like her, how can I deal with my mother鈥檚 reaction?
Also, how did your mother react about your pregnancy?
I need encouragement!How did your mother react when you told her you were pregnant? My mom will be upset!?
Don't let anyone rain on your parade! Although, I know how hard this can be, especially with your mom.
I can tell myself logically that it doesn't matter what she thinks - I'm my own person, etc. Yet my heart just craves for her approval. Why does it matter, my husband says. It just does! I can't help it - I'm a people-pleaser!
We just told my parents we're expecting our 5th baby, and I dreaded doing it because of my mom's reaction (I can picture it - a stunned face immediately covered up with a fake smile and half-hearted enthusiasm). I know it's not what *she* would choose to do, but this is my life and my family. She will just always be my mom and get concerned/scared out of love. (also, I think she has regrets about raising her own kids and can't imagine my life right now).
It really helps to clearly define yourself. ';Mom, I'm a little nervous - this is my first baby. What I really need from you now is encouragement and support.'; The others are right - she'll probably really get into the Grandma thing and start spoiling before it's born! Those little babies have a way of melting your heart.
Hang in there! Think positive! Look forward to lots of droolie smiles :)How did your mother react when you told her you were pregnant? My mom will be upset!?
well to be honest i think your doing perfectly well,
youve got high education, it's not like youve had sex with a boy
your married to this boy so it's alright,
and it would be nice because when your child is older your age difference wouldnt be THAT big.
just talk to her, congratulations
good luck
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my mom said to me,';hmm so your going to make me a grandma at a young age, are you';? lol i had just turned 18. she was very happy but worried. she loves being a grandma : ] hun its your life! she will come around and see that.
My mother cried--and then went grandma crazy. I mean buying everything you can imagine. She was exteremly supportive but still thinks I should have waited. It comes down to the fact--it's not your mother's child or life--it's yours. While I know you are concerned about how she feels (I was too) you still have to put your foot down and be happy no matter what she says. Best of Luck!
It all depends on your mother as to how she will react. i was almost 20 my mother cried. hell i cried. but in the end it all worked out OK. my mother loves my son with all her heart. as well it made me grow up. your mother may think you cant do it now. you may even think the same. but when you finally get that baby in your arms everything will change!! to be honest i was far from ready even while preg. i didn't really want the baby. as bad as it sounds. but i will tell you i would never change any of it. i love so much and he has made me such a better person. sometimes even if others ,and yourself, think it is too soon it turns out to be perfect timing. don't stress over telling your mother. just walk up with a positive attitude and say mom guess what I'm preg. have a happy healthy pregnancy don't let anyone take that from you !!!
I congratulate and applaud you! You are a shining example of doing everything ';right'; and giving your child the best odds possible. Read my other posts; you'll see that those words aren't liberally handed out to new parents.
It sounds like your mom might have an issue with facing old-age. I think her feelings are all about her history and feeling less accomplished than she had anticipated: not anything that you have done. Take the best from her and graciously leave the rest. You and your husband need to rellish in this joyful (and trying) experience!
YOu are a married woman with your own life. You have to do what makes you and your husband happy. I was 22 and was only a college graduate for 1 year my mother was completely disgusted. That changed so quickly and the funny thing is my little girl looks just like her!! And my mom and dad spoil her way too much!!! So it may seem bleek at first but trust me you will be okay. I wish you the best!
Don't worry about her initial reaction, its your life and your body. She will get used to the idea, and when the baby comes, she will be happy. Just reassure her that you andyour husband are solid, happy, and ready to be parents with or without her blessing, but you would really love her to be a part of things, with a positive attitude. Don't try to justify your reasoning with her, or convince her you are ready,because its not her call. Tell her this is the choice you have made with your husband, and she can either support you or not. It may take her a bit, but sh ewill come sround and probably be a great grandma! Good luck, andtyr not to worry about it too much. How you andyour husband feel aboutit is the most important.
Its too bad that the people closest to you can ruin this time for you. It obvious that you value her opinion. However, this is a Great time for you and your husband and you both deserve to be happy. Try not to place so much value on your mothers reaction. Congratulations.
YOU ARE AN ADULT!!!.. and apperantly a married one at that... if you and your husband are happy that you are pregnant then who cares what you moms thinks about.... YOU set tyour timefrimae for your family.. not her... .. Grow up.. be an adult..
My Mom Was Upset at first , But Once i got to my 3-4th Month , she started to Come around an accept the fact that i was pregnant. Now she has no idea what she would do without her 2 grandaughters !! Let Time play out .. mom will come around .. she just needs to come to terms with it. Also let her know how happy this makes you , maybe seeing you This Happy , will help her come around .. so to speak.
Much Luck an CONGRATS !!
you're a married adult..your mother has no choice but to celebrate her first grandchild
I was going on 18 when I had my first child. When I told my mom she was worried about me but that is a normal reaction for a mom you will understand once you have a child. I now have 2 children a boy and a girl and my mom is completely happy about it. Just wait she will come around and get used to being a grandparent my dad had to because he didn't like the fact I made him a grandfather at an early age to. It will take time and patience but once the baby is here I am sure your mom will be fine. She will still have her worries about you though. Just wait until she holds the baby for the first time the worries seem to fly out the window
Congrats...and you can name her after me, he he. Really, though, sounds like you've done just fine. Lovely....
Your mother may be a little shocked at first but I bet she'll warm up to the idea...There are lots of young grandmothers.
..some think 24 is the perfect age to have a child. Don't worry. Invite her over for dinner and serve baby carrots, baby back ribs, baby peas....see if she can catch on.
I haven''t had a babe yet so I can't tell you that part of your question.
I think you will be fine and I wish you all the best. Have a great day mummy.
wait...you have what other mothers are supposed to have before you even have kids? so who's too young? is she too young to be called grandmother? what's the deal?
i can't say from my own experience as my mother was horrifed i was pregnant and not married. she even said i was no longer allowed to wear white and was to wear black if i ever got married. but then i don't really like my mother much.
most mothers i know will be upset for a second and then get over it. you are married, you are not living in her house. you and your husband are the only ones making the deciscion and the both of you should not be needing outside opinions. regardless of blood relation.
btw..i would have said the same thing if you weren't married, didn't go to college and didn't own a house.
Once you are married you listen to one and only person--your spouse. It is all right to ask mom and dad's advice, but you only listen to your spouse. I was married at 21, my wife was 19. We did not live together prior to marriage. Our first little boy was born 11 months after we were married, our second son was born 17 months after that, our third son was born 20 months after that, our fourth son was born 24 months after that, our fifth son was born four years after that. Five sons within nine years. We didn't listen to ANYONE when it came to when we would have our family. My mother was delighted that we were starting our family young. Is your mother aware that women who make the mistake of waiting until 30 to START their family run a higher risk of birth defects, breast cancer, cervical cancer, and other handicaps (if they can get pregnant at all?) Do you really want to be so old and set in your career when you have kids that you don't have time for them? There is a reason why women often appear more attractive in their 20s than they do later in life--so they will reproduce when they are young--when they are supposed to. My five sons are closer than 90% of the brothers in the world today. We were poor when they were young, but now that they are raised and three of them are married themselves, they have never once, NEVER ONCE, been talking and laughing about growing up and mentioned, ';Hey remember back when we were poor?'; They could not care less if we had money when they were growing up. We did things as a family, we camped, went to the beach, slept on the living room floor and watched movies late at night, hiked in the mountains, played baseball, went swimming, went to the park, etc... Not one of them could give a damn about how much money we had. No child would choose money over a parent who spends time with them. If you want to give your child a gift they will treasure throughout their entire life, give them everything--give them your time. And have your children when YOU want to.
First off I wouldn't be worrying how your mother will react. If you and your husband are capable of taking care of this child BE HAPPY! CONGRATS!
My mom was happy, I was 24 when I had my son and just turned 25. This is her first grandchild and shes 43. My father was extremely happy as well... since he was dying (rapid cancer took him in 6 months) he was happy to have a new generation.
Your mother might be upset at first, but she'll warm up to the idea. She'll definitely fall in love with the baby once it's born, that's the charm of babies. They're cute so everyone loves them! LOL!
I would wait until you absolutely have to tell your mom so she can't really say much about it.
hey my mom went into the house and slammed the door with me outside. but she adores my kids now. if your ready to be a mom don't worry about her she will accept it. and GOOD LUCK, be happy.
My situation was very similar to yours. I got pregnant at 23 but was unmarried, my mom was 42 at the time. She knew I wanted a baby and discouraged it deeply. When I found out I was prego I was so scared to tell her. I waited all the way until 3 months to tell her. To gather strength I told Gramma first and that helped. Eventually I bit the bullet and told my mom we needed to sit down and talk. She knew immediately what I was going to tell her. She was disappointed at first, but then she got over it. My son is 2.5 now and she loves him to death. I know it seems scary, but you are stable in your life and you will be just fine. She will realize that.
My mom was excited about being a Grandma...she asked me what took so long. she was 58 when my son was born. I wouldn't worry about your mom's reaction now...I'm sure that wehn that little tyke is born everything will change. If it won't...then tell her that you son't want her to be a part of your life if she can't be happy for you and your husband...You don't need the extra grief.
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