Thursday, October 21, 2010

How do you deal with your mother in-law?

Ok I know most people say to just smile and don't let her get to you. But when you and your sister in-law just had a baby and she gose off saying you look fat or you put on alot of weight how do you deal with one like that with out startting trouble in the family?How do you deal with your mother in-law?
I think your husband should be sticking up for you right about now. Comments like that are extremely rude. You shouldn't have to put up with that from anyone. What a B she is. People are saying to pull her aside and and tell her how you feel.If anything is said it needs to be in front of witnesses so she can't turn around and say that you said something you didn't say. Talking to her as adults is not going to work because she obviously doesn't think or act like one. Tell her this the next time she says something like that..'; I don't know if you realize it or not, but comments like that hurt my feelings and I would appreciate if you wouldn't make comments about my weight anymore';How do you deal with your mother in-law?
Just walk away from it, there is no way to please a mother-in-law. Mine was perfect tho, I never met her, after 13 years of marriage. She was great in my eyes !!! LOL !!! Good luck to you.
JUST BLOW HER OFF. AND BESIDES THAT IT IS NONE OF HER BUSSINESS HOW YOU LOOK OR THE SISTER INLAW.
12 gauge mossberg, or just smack the **** outta her.
Tell her straight to her face. You wouldn't let a stranger make those comments to you. Why would you let anyone else do it?





Why hold back your honest feelings?





There is a tactful way to do it, though. Don't just b*tch at her in front of everyone. Pull her aside, tell her how you feel, and have an adult discussion with her.
Well, I'd just say...';It happens, and it's not permanent.'; Or, ';I guess I won't be the first to gain weight, nor the last.'; Or another one...';well, thank goodness your son didn't marry me for my weight.';
just tell her how u feel..and tell her that u dont like 4 anyone to talk to u like that...ur a grown woman and not some lil child...and if she cant understand that...she has a problem...and just be nice but dont mess with her,,,and pray 4 her...thats if u beileve in that!
first i would talk to your spouse about how this is hurting your feelings, it is possible that he doesn't even realize, and if that doesn't work, then i would pull her aside and tell her to knock it off with the weight comments because it is really hurting your feelings, and if all else fails, i would find a great picture of her with her new baby from way back when and have it blown up and framed and give it to her as a gift, that may start a little trouble though
I guess I was pretty lucky to have the mother-in-law that I got...My husbands parents were wonderful parents and I love them so very much. They have both gone to that great and wonderful place in heaven but I sure do miss them.
tell her your family doctor says it is normal and that u trust your family doctors advice over anyone elses who r not a doctor
Very easily: I didn't get married! Not married = no mother-in-law! HA!





I guess if it was me, I'd ask her why she feels the need to be abusive. Now, it could be that you really did get fat and maybe should lose some weight? Maybe she is just really crap about saying that she cares.





Also be careful that you don't become her. They say men marry women like their mothers, but I think it's more a subconscious push for the women they marry to become like their mothers. If you think she's a jerk, be careful that you don't become one yourself!
the best thing is to distance yourself from her and when you have to deal with her just smile and nod and consider the source.
If your spouse(s) have heard her saying these things to you, take them aside and tell them to speak to mom-in-law gently telling her to lay-off with the fat talk. It's enough to be dealing with hormonal changes at this time and if the hubbys want any peace at home, he'll/they'll be smart to stop this talk right now before it goes any further. You husband(s) should be sticking up for you anyway even if it's a fine line they have to walk between wives and mothers.
Ignore her 100%.Do not pay attention what she says at all.
Just say, But I am the same person, big or little. or just say nothing. She is always going to have something to say, so no need to feed into it. Concentrate on you and your family, and that is all your concern, just be courteous to her, and be on your way. she is not in charge of your life!
just think that she didn't say anything , and tell her i don't know .
Either talk to your partner and ask him to tell her that she is upsetting you, or take it upon yourself and tell her how you feel. there is no right way in this situation as i have found from experiance but if she carrys on start to ignore her. It worked for me!
Who cares about the outside the inside is what counts, and she shouldn't be saying those things if it's going to be her grandson/daughter! And i'm sure you will be a great mother!
DEFINITELY, as uuummk says!! PLUS, I'd get really prepare for the ';next time';, as there will be a next time, say something like, ';You know, I appreciate your telling me regarding my size, but you're probably not aware that you've told me that any number of times. While I value your opinion, I generally like to follow your SON';S opinion's of me and his preferrences as well as mine.'; AND the next time she says it, ';WHOOPS! (smile) There you said it AGAIN!!'; If there is a 3rd time, you could escalate your comments (again, in a friendly way) suggesting that she may have some memory loss!! If she continues, you could say something like, ';You know memory loss comes with age! And I KNOW you don't want to bore the people around you by reapeating things over and over again!'; If she complains to your husband about you, then you will get an assessment, if you don't have one already, if he is willing and able to stand up for you against his mother!! A lot of men can't and leave it to their wives to handle! Above all! DON'T just smile and ignore her remarks! Get a VERY CONCERNED look on your face when you tell her regarding her memory! Being rude or mean just comes back on you. If she is just intolerable, then opt out on meeting her!! A lot of men don't want to deal with their mothers and depend upon the wife to arrange and respond to his mother's demands. Be non-critical there too, but opt out saying I just feel so hurt with your mother's attitude with me. I'm SURE she just wants to be with you, anyway!! Why don't you take her out for lunch weekly--just say I'm too busy; not feeling well, etc.


Ten to one, he won't, but will get irritated with you for holding your ground, by saying you're too sensitive etc., you have an obligation, etc.. If you have children, go with the family in order to PROTECT them!! As you know, she'll undermine them, too!
i make it a habit to never deal with my mother in law.
Hmmm, my mother in law invited me to go to the gym with her, and even bought me a membership. She says that I make her son really happy, and she wants to help keep me healthy (I just had triplets by C-Section, in November) I felt a little itchy about that. Just take care of yourself and don't worry about it.
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