How do you deal when it's your Birthday and your mother is abusive?

My mother has been verbally abusive ever since I could remember but lately it has increased. She'll say anything under the sun. Nothing is off limits. Some of the things that come out of her mouth really would leave you speechless.


Today is my Birthday and I thought maybe she'd give it a rest... no such luck. She woke up today at noon and said a life-less ';Happy Birthday'; she then went on the phone with her boyfriend. She was ';nice'; while talking to her boyfriend then once she got off she started on me. The things she said... I can't even believe this is my mother.


She didn't even get me a card or anything. Meanwhile, on her birthday I went out of my way to get her a really nice cake, flowers, a card and a gift.





I cried most of my Birthday, I know it sounds stupid like some pitty party but I really thought she'd lay off. At least today. Now this has become my birthday.





A lot of my friends aren't in my area and I have become sort of distant from them, my bf is also long distance right now due to school.


What am I suppose to do? a part of me wishes she would just say ';Im sorry'; but she never has. What do I say to her?How do you deal when it's your Birthday and your mother is abusive?
I'm so sorry to hear that! Your mom really isn't living up to what motherhood should be. Kudos to you for taking the high road and showing her that you care about her even when she won't do the same in return. Remember that what she says about you isn't true, and it's not your fault she treats you that way.





Verbal abuse can have the same scarring, sometimes even dangerous effects on the psyche as physical abuse can have on the body, and it's not okay. I'm not sure how old you are, but since it seems you're still in school, I would highly recommend talking to the school guidance counselor about it. That is what she (or he) is there for, and you can reach them through the school's phone number during the summer as well. They will know more options for what you can do than people on Y! Answers.





As for talking to your mom, if it's just normal hurtful things she does, I would say talk to her because maybe she doesn't know how you feel, but if she's directly insulting the person you are 24/7, then it's really beyond that. I think she needs some mental help or something, but that's really out of your control.





Don't listen to her and try not to let her get you down. Next time she talk to you, stop listening and start making plans inside your head for the wonderful life you're going to live when you move out. you can start daydreaming about whether you're going to live closer to your bf and about how often you're going to start seeing each other, what kind of house you want to get, etc. Best wishes on your special day!How do you deal when it's your Birthday and your mother is abusive?
You really need to stop, cut off the caring. Make your own happiness, and surely don't count on her for it. Stop buying her stuff for her birthday, because she doesn't deserve it, and it will not bring you up any levels with her. Get out as soon as you are old enough, and let her know how good it was to have someone with her who at one point cared.
I have the same issue with my mother. She is ALWAYS putting me down. It's hard to deal with. I have 4 siblings and she's nice to them... it's just me she picks on. The second I walk in the room she starts on me.





On my birthday she did the whole ';Oh, by the way, happy birthday I guess'; thing. No hug, no present, no card. Nothing. As soon as she gave me the ';birthday wishes'; she started in on the verbal abuse.





I also spent my birthday crying. Same as every other year. Actually, every day in fact.





I sat down with my mom and told her how I felt. I explained to her that I did not appreciate how she treated me. I told her I'd like to be treated with some respect and that it would be nice to be treated like a human being.





She seemed to listen to it, I can see she's making an attempt to back off a bit... but she still harrasses me. Rome wasn't built in a day, I guess. It helped a bit though. Try talking to her.





Edit: I forgot to add something.





I used to react to her when she'd start in on me. I'd fight back, sometimes yell. Lots of fighting. Something I've been trying lately is just not reacting. If she insults me I'll either walk away or just say ';Oh, thats nice'; or ';Good to know';. People who dish out constant abuse do it because they WANT a reaction. Don't give her what she wants. Just ignore it. It still hurts, but don't let her know it. Do this AFTER talking to her. If you talk to her and she continues, it will be a wake-up call if you just act indifferent.
first answer is right my mother is the same way only it my mother goes on and off. One day she will fuss none stop over nothing or something that happened weeks ago or brings up anything then one day she wants to be nice but that only happens for some hours and she back to b****ing all day. my mother would act like im not even her son and say words that no child should hear from a parent towards them. So now i don't talk to her that much or want to go anywhere with her. One day i treated my mom to the movies and when we were going home she brings up some old **** and then says that's why i don't like going anywhere with you so i stop going places with her and now she wants me to go to Atlantic City with her...... hell no i won't go just to hear her fuss at me for not having fun with her... i can't even go in the casinos cause im not old enough. you should get what im saying i guess we both have to live with this until we can move out on our own.


Happy Birthday!!! You deserve it.
tell ur grandparents or the polioce nobody deservies to go threw this