How do you deal with your soon to be mother- in law?

My soon to be mother in law always seems to get keys to our place. No matter how many times I try to use euphemisms to let her know that it is okay to stay a day or two -not weeks on end! She pops up out of the blue and tries to tell me( 24) and my fiancee(26) how to do everything: clean, care for our kids, and operate our relationship! It Is killing me inside , because I see how my fiancee just allows her mom to do this stuff!!! I hate it. The other day she was telling her that I shouldn't say *** anywhere around MY DAMN KIDS!!!!!!!! And that I should stop being involved with my kids if I don't work on myself!!!! UHHHHHHH!! I am working on not saying that word, but don't tell me I am a bad father, because I slip now and then! I am just sick and tired of her coming around '; out of the blue';, like she knows it all!!!!!!!How do you deal with your soon to be mother- in law?
if this woman is your fiance and the mother of your children...then TALK TO HER!. Let her know that you love your mother in law to be, but that her constant presence and nagging is begining to make you upset and uneasy and its begining to make you resent your fiance. Ask that she maybe come over on saturdays to spend tiem with you and her grandchildren, but thats it. or maybe she can pick them up after school and leave when an adult gets home...come up with a real solution. just let your fiance know that its not that you want her ou tof your life, its just that she is constantly there and you cannot take the nagging and judging. Its not fair to you or your relationship...and your realtionship will begin to suffer if she doesnt back off...



if talking ot your fiance doesnt work...then take her mom out to lunch and talk...explain that you care abtou ehr and her daughter but that there needs to be boundaries because you feel suffocated. Ask if her mother or mother in law was that present when she was caring for her kids and getting married...i bet not...so why is she doing it to you guys? say that you understand her need to be around her grandchildren...and you will try to accomodate her, but that it is unreasonable for her to judge YOUR parenting styles...How do you deal with your soon to be mother- in law?
i believe this is something u have to talk to your wife about ..let her know how u feel about her mom coming around and the problems she causes when she stays for many days.. let your wife know that u and her are married ..and are well adults to know and decide on your own problems and most of all u two decide on the up bring of your kids.. your mother needs to cut the string loose of her daughter.. she isnt a baby no more... good luck
First off you need to sit down with your fiance and make sure you guys are on the same page. If not, boy have you got a problem. If you are, great. Since it is a soon to be monster-in-law, I would have you and fiance to have a sit down, without kids around. Let fiance and mom do most of talking, your just there for moral support. Let her know this is ya'lls house, rules, ways of cleaning, etc. She needs to call whenever coming over to make sure ya'll don't have any plans. Ask her to respect ya'lls house and rules. Kill her with kindness. No loud mouthing or obscenities. Calmness will greatly intimidate her, especially if you are usually loud. Good luck.
First you have to learn to be patient ,stay focused on the fact that she is the mother of your soon to be wife. You must realize that know man will ever be good enough for her, therefore you have to prove yourself worthy, so pray and ask GOD to give you want it takes to make it work, i'm sure your wife is worth that. Be blessed my friend!!!
You and you wife need to discuss this. She really needs to know you feel as if your home is being invaded and you're very uncomfortable. Your mother in law doesn't need to stay weeks on end, and you don't have to be mean to your wife about it, but you can discuss making plans for the visits... weeks is too much.



So, after talking with your wife, you need to let your mother in law know how you feel, too. Your home, your rules, your way. She already raised her own kids and she really needs to give advice only when asked...



ugh, i feel for you