How would you feel if an outsider told you that your brother has better sense than to deal with your mother?

My foster sister tried to tell me that my biological brother has better sense than to deal with our mentally ill biological mother, %26amp; she's ignorant because what she doesn't know is that he hangs with our real mom more than any of my siblings. I'm 23 yrs. old %26amp; grown with my own house %26amp; a college degree. Who is my former foster family to tell me I can't talk to my biological family? I mean, my foster sister deals with her biological mother (my foster mother) on a daily basis. Why isn't she stupid? But what's funny is @ the same time, the foster family don't want any dealings with me while they don't want me contacting my family. They kept me away from my biological family all my childhood life, %26amp; that's not fair-just jecause they were feuding, %26amp; the foster mom lied %26amp; said that it was court ordered that we stay away from our biological family, %26amp; come to find out, that's not true.How would you feel if an outsider told you that your brother has better sense than to deal with your mother?
Seek the truth, for the truth shall set you free...



When you were young, your life was turned upside down by the events outside your control that led to your loss of contact with your mother and adoption by your foster family. At the time you had no control at all, and you your foster family hid information from you to protect you and shield you from what may have been some ugly truth.



Now, you are an educated young adult. Can we assume that you are trying to find out the truth about your biological family members, and hopefully reconnect with them if at all possible.



I think what you are dealing with vis-a-vis your foster parents is some combination of fear and a sense of betrayal on their part. Fear that some of the truth you discover will put them in a bad light (like the lies they told you). And a sense of betrayal, because they may feel that because of everything they've done for you, you owe them your undivided loyalty.



The heart of the matter is, you deserve to know the truth, even if it is painful for you or others. It is a necessary part of your growth, healing, grieving and maturing.



Reassure your foster parents that if you develop a relationship with your own mother, it will in no way diminish your feelings for them. Love is not a zero sum game. You can love them all greatly, if they all are worthy of your love, and the world will be a better place for it.How would you feel if an outsider told you that your brother has better sense than to deal with your mother?
i say for get them and do what you feel is right. your grown they don't control you any more. go see who you want when you want and sense they don't want you around what else are you to do. tell them off and do what you want..
I say that the real problem is not what she said, but what is going on inside yourself. Something in the past has made you become very bitter at your foster family. People make mistakes and if you let their mistakes control you then you will live a very unhappy and unfulfilled life. Think about what it is that is really bothering you and turn it into pity, so you can move on with your life and not let what they say control you so much. People believe different things and they have a right to think or say whatever they want. That is why it's called America. Find out who you are as a person and then you can deal with people's comments much easier and without frustration. If your heart was in the right place and you looked at the entire picture you would feel pity on her for saying that not anger or frustration or whatever it is that you are feeling.
You said it yourself, your grown with your own life and you can make up your own mind. Personally i don't like having anything to do with people who lie straight to my face especially about my mother. They may have become jealous since you now have a relationship with your real mom, they feel that they raised you so they have all the rights. Let me tell you from my own experiences that your mother is the only mother you will ever have, no one can replace her and there's nothing on this planet that is better than having a relationship with your parents. My father passed away 12-28-05 from cancer and we never had the opportunity to be with him our entire lives, my brother and I. At his funeral his mistress stood in front of out entire family and said he had wanted nothing to do with his children when he was alive. Now everyone knew that was bull and the only reason why he was never around is because of her and he was also an alcoholic so he hide behind the beer. This women did everything in her power to hurt us and humiliate us. I was very upsetting! But, at this moment i seen how she was and i know my father was looking down on her and shaking his head.

Don't ever let anyone tell you what to do with your life because one day the chance will no longer be there and you may regret it. Do what you feel is right, ignore anyone's comments.
WOW, OK

Sooo your an adult, you talk to whom ever you please. If you want to see your mom, do it.

This is a little confusing and hard to read but maybe your foster parents are trying to protect you?? Don't know, because I don't know them?? But I don't understand why you are even bother with them... if they don't want to bother with you.

Tell the foster family to blow and find your real mom.
You have every right to deal with your biological family if that's what you want. Unconditional love is what everyone has a right to have, and if you are willing to love your biological family members, mother or whoever unconditionally, that is healthy. You don't have to gage what other members of your adopted family does in comparison to what you do, nor do you have to be a slave to what they want or believe. You are your own uniquely comprised individual, who happens to be a product of more than one family. If you decide other wise in the future then that's okay too. Continue to operate from your own mind and not what others think you should do, and be fine with your own decisions. I wish you luck.
Just go and see your mother if thats wats bugging u. U r an adult do as u please.