Ladies- How do YOU deal with your Mother-In-Law?

So- I love my husband more than any other adult I have ever met (that's why I married him). BECAUSE I love him, I've been tolerant of his mother. But, I am on the verge of telling her off. I like her and everything.... She just crosses the line at times with stuff she has said to me.





Here is 2 so far:





#1 (I have 2 kids, A two year old boy who goes to daycare during the day %26amp; I'm a SAHM of a 4 month old girl and breastfeed- I worked but the company I worked for closed and now I can't find work)


She told me I needed to get a job and that if I can't find one, I should keep the house spotless- And let my husband eat dinner and relax when he gets home. I shouldn't be asking him for anything or to do help with the house or kids. (My oldest is mine...)





#2 My mother-in-law came over last night right at my son's bedtime. So, we all took a nice long walk and came back at 7:30. I told my son to put his toy truck away %26amp; relax it was almost time for bed. I took the truck and put it away. He got up and went to go get it. My mother-in-law is just laughing saying ';Listen to Mommy'; but not really helping. I get a phone call and answer it (I was playing phone tag for 2 days with my friend). My son somehow got his truck back (Mother-In-Law) and comes to the kitchen where I am on my phone and starts hitting me with it and playing at my feet. I got snippy and said ';I told you to relax, it's bed time!'; And snatched the truck from him. My mother-in-law goes ';Geez Mom- you don't need to be ugly!!!'; with this b*tchy attitude tone. If it wasn't for my friend on the line I would of told her off.





SO FAR- She's only done this 2x. But my mom and I discussed it and we think if I don't address this now she'll only get worse. Anyone have any stories like this to share and a solution to what was happening???? Come on ladies- spill it!Ladies- How do YOU deal with your Mother-In-Law?
For what it's worth, here's my take. You say your husband doesn't defend you to his mom. But does he actually expect you to keep a spotless home? Does he have a problem with your lifestyle right now? I mean other than the stress of having a young child and loosing a job? If he's ok with how you're living and what level of participation you're asking for in running his home then forget what his mom thinks. She grew up in a different era when men and women had very different expectations. Your husband may not want to confront her on this but as long as he realizes her view is just her opinion and that the two of you have to do what's right for both of you then you're ok.





For your second example, do you remember going to grandma's house as a child? Or having grandma visit? Most kids love those times for the very reason that grandmas tend to loosen some of the rules. That's not necessarily a bad thing. I know my own MIL will play short order chef to my kids making different meals for them if they don't like what she's having. I think it's crazy but it's just grandma's way. As long as it's not endangering the girls' lives I'm going to let that go. So I guess my question is do you really need to make a federal case out of a toy truck?Ladies- How do YOU deal with your Mother-In-Law?
LOL I actually LOVE my Mother In Law and my Father In Law more so than my part of the Family... His parents LEAVE US ALONE where as my mother is always trying to butt in on my business that is why I stay far far away from mine and my husband is a good little boy he makes sure to call his mom and dad every day to talk to them LOL


I think it is so CUTE!
I say your husband needs to tell his Mom how it's gonna be. If she's not mature enough to know how to handle herself, she needs to know that she won't be welcome to come over. I have been dealing with similar issues for years. It's sad but she is the one who is responsible for that decision having to be made. I only talk to my mother-in-law now at holidays. She is not welcome in our home because all she does is cause drama. That is on her, not us.
Kill her!
Don't let her walk all over you. If she is in your home SHE needs to follow YOUR rules. If she comes over again at your son's bedtime either don't answer the door or tell her this is not a good time because it is time for your son to settle down and go to bed. Be up front and honest with her. About her telling you what you and your husband should do? She can go jump off a bridge. Sounds like you two are doing just fine.





When my husband got married a few years ago, my mother-in-law complained on how much my photos cost. She wanted to do this and that. It's like , it's my wedding, not yours. This isn't 30 yrs ago!!!!!
First talk to your husband how you feel and make sure he doesn't agree with how his mom is treating you. If he agree's that she is out of line, make a point to talk to her about it. Your husband is her son and it will always be that way and some mom's have issues letting that go (hence why she said the first thing). But if your husband agrees that she's being a bit mean or nit picky etc...talk to her. But be civil and explain to her that it bothers you when she says things like that. That it makes you feel awful and like crap etc...if she is a decent woman she will understand and apologize and probably try to explain her side etc....just keep everything civil and don't yell at her...that's the worst thing you can do.
I had problems with all of my in-laws. I met my husband in 1982. I was still legaly married but hadn't seen my husbnd for 4 years.He went AWOL in Germany. He left me. I stayed married becouse I got military benifits.But when I met my new gonna be husband I filed for divorce. So here I am,married with a 3-year old.His family thought I was bad news,and I don't blame them a bit! I was 21,big boobs from birth control pills,Daisy dukes,long blonde hair. Quite the hotty if I say so myself. Me and boyfriend moved to Texas.3 years later I got pregnant. His parents came down and insisted I trapped him. We got married a week before I had my daughter.We moved back to Michigan when she was one. They treated her like crap. When she was 5 we had another baby. They treated her like crap. You know I am some whore who trapped their son.One thanksgiving my in-laws said...the only reason your kids say I love you is becouse they are afaid not to! That was it! I grabbed everythind we had and threw it in the truck,said if you want a ride home get in it now.We left in the middle of thanksgiving dinner.I never went back.My husband of 10 years never stood up for me to his mother....ever.One day after I left my husband,I wrote her a long letter telling her no other woman would've stayed with her crack smoking alcoholic son and she should thank me for helping him threw out the years. She actually blamed me for his addictions. I hate his entire family and I'm glad I don't have to put up with them any more. 20 something years of crap. To this day I don't know if I should have told them off sooner! Im just glad she is gone,(dead) I'm sure she can see now what I did for her freakin son.