Sunday, November 21, 2010

Are you your mothers mother?

Sometimes I feel like I am my moms mom. She calls me for advice almost everyday. Yesterday she called me for advice on how to do her resumee and sent me a copy to proof read. She asked me advice on how to deal with my 7 year old brother. I am 20, she is 39. I am married, living in my own home, working, going to college. It has beenthis ay my whole life, I was always the one making all of the decisions, but now I want my own life, not her drama. Has anyone gone through similar experiances?Are you your mothers mother?
She's a co-dependant. Better for her to ask your advice, than some guy who isn't interested in the best interest for your brother. It's not like she's asking you for money or something, so chill hun, families need eachother...be thankful.Are you your mothers mother?
maybe she just misses you.
No, I have not really dealt with the same thing. It seems that either you and your mother are really close or she just isn't mother-ish. Help her as much and as long as you can. She IS YOUR mother. She raised you successfully apparently, it is the best you can do for her at this point.



Good luck and have a great day.

Kristy
its not like that dear, actually ur mom want do all the job as per the current generation style. so as u r only 20 so she ask u so that u may advice ur brillient ideas to ur 39 yrs old mom. but pls remember u r still her child only.



bye
her drama?dont u think u r being too harsh on her?there r people who don't get enough value from their family...and some people have all the luck with that!Im very much family oriented..and i love it when im asked for any help or advise..that makes u feel like...family!Ghun..giving some time to your parents never hurt..dont u think they deserve it?it might sound like a cliche..but they brought u up.And if u dont like her doing all this ';drama';,as u call it..tell her u r very busy with your studies..or your work..good luck
Yes, she could be using any old excuse just to talk to you. Try not to be too hard on her. Maybe your dad was always the one who made all the decisions? She could be used to letting someone else lead the way.



I know plenty of moms like that. If she was married to your dad for a really long time, and he always set things up, paid bills, fixed things, etc. she could just not be used to doing things on her own and needs assistance. I'm sure she loves you, maybe just talk to her and tell her how you feel. If it doesn't change, you kinda just have to accept it.



I've learned to accept my mom the way she is, b/c she is NOT changing!! She drives me nuts in some ways, and i've tried explaining to her what I need from her, but it didn't do anything. So I have to accept it, or resign myself to feeling annoyed all the time. I don't want to feel annoyed all the time obviously, so I just try to focus on her good points that i'm grateful for.



Life is too short to let little things get you down.
Yes! LOL! I just got off the phone with my mom literally 2 seconds before I read this. She needs to come to my house when she gets off work this evening to bathe and eat because she woke up this morning to a gushing water leak. She cannot have it repaired until this weekend when she can be at home to let the repair man in. Ok, I don't mind her coming over for dinner or to bathe.... but it seems like she has a major catastrophe every week that I have to save her from. And no, it will never end...
I know EXACTLY how you feel!!
My own mother is older now and our roles are clearly reversed. She even asks me what to eat! I think the fact that your mother is only 39 may make her feel like you are more like a friend than a daughter. Actually, that isn't so bad an idea, between an adult mother and daughter; at least she asks for advice and you don't indicate that she tries to tell you how to live your life. She does seem to need to search out other friends, however, and you may have to tell her, kindly, I hope, that while you love her, you have a busy life and do not wish to be so involved with her daily decision making.
No, I have no similar experiences but i know you are very important to her that why she keep on calling you for advice so that she can hear your voices and get your opinions on how to handle your younger brother n how to get updated resume. there are nothing wrong. You should be happy that she think of you everydays. she love you as her daughter and she feel lonely without you at home and this is why she call you almost everyday. Come on, you should be happy!
Sounds like Mom is treating you like you're her friend. It gets this way with mothers and daughters when they're grown.



What's so dramatic? Can't you accept the friendship she's offering you?
You should feel lucky and proud!
been there.....what am i saying? I'm still there. My Mom, as well as my aunt and my two brothers come to me for everything. I mean everything. They can't even make a phone call without my help. I figure, just do it and get it over with. She's your Mom, so just go with the flow. I have been for 20 years already.

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