Do you ever feel like your mother is trying to take over?

I'm 19 weeks pregnant with my first child and I'm really excited, because I will be able to start my own life. But my problem is that it seems like ever since I got pregnant my mother has been trying to control me and she has already tried making decisions like who will watch the baby and everything. I know that this is a big deal for her because this is her first grand child, but she has made comments like, my boyfriend (the baby's father) will not be allowed to be alone with the baby, and his parents wont be allowed to see the baby. She has also tried telling me how I should raise the child. She made a comment a few weeks ago that when the baby is born I wont be able to hold the baby until after she does and that she is going to feed it. I don't know about you but it feels like she is already trying to take my baby from me. I feel so over whelmed about it and I don't really know how to set up boundaries with her. I've had boundary issues with her in the past and I still do. But why does it feel like she is trying to take over. Am I just being hormonal or what? But When my mom says that the baby wont be allowed to see its dad or its other grandparents it makes me really upset, because its not her place to make those decisions. She so far hasn't let me pick out anything for the baby. I was going to get a bassinet, diaper genie, crib, changing table and everything else, but so far, she has gotten the bassinet, diaper genis, changing table, clothes diaper bags and everything. Its not that I'm not thankful, because I really truely am, I don't know what I would do with out her. It just feels like she is trying to take my place, and I don't know what to do?



Should I just suck it up and deal with it all? Talk to her? And how do I talk to her? I don't want to push her away but I feel so trapted and like I have no freedom to choose how I raise my child.....



I kind of feel like I'm being ungreatful, am I?Do you ever feel like your mother is trying to take over?
You need to tell your mother that this is your child, not hers. The ';wont be able to hold the baby until after she does and that she is going to feed it'; is going way too far. She may be excited for her first grandchild, but the baby is your child, and you are the one who decides how to parent said child. Just talk to your mother and explain that she can't run your life or the baby's. You should be grateful that she bought the supplies; true, but not letting the child see their father or grandparents is out of line.Do you ever feel like your mother is trying to take over?
Your mother is in deed controling of your situation.



But while your in the hospital, you make all the decisions for you and your baby. If you are going to breast feed, your mother can't do that for you, so you will need to be alone with your child.



Unless your ready to move out of your mothers house than get ready to live with it. I know its not fair but try to tell her that it is your child and although you appreciate her help there are some things that you want to take care of.



Try talking to her and making arrangements together so she feels included too.
what you need to do is sit down with your mother and express to her everything you're feeling but before make it clear to her that you don't mean to hurt her feelings. You have feelings to and I'm sure they are being hurt by all this and that strees is not good for the baby. So you should clean the air. The second thing you need to do is as soon as you get a chance move out it's the only way things will get much better and you're not pushing her away by doing so but you are a women know and you are about to have a family and you need to learn how to become fully independent. GOOD LUCK!
You are not being ungreatful. You have a right to decide weither your baby sees it's dad and grandparents. Tell her that. You have to be strait forward and say. ';Mom, it is great that you want to help me out but my baby is mine and you are acting like it is yours. Now I am going to let my baby see its dad and other grandparents. It needs a family and they are part of that family with you. So stop pushing so much and please only help when I ask for it.';
Move and change your phone number.



Jk! But that is WAY overboard. But I think it's an easy-fix. You should DEFINITELY talk to her about it. You could start, ';Mom, there's something I want to talk about with you.'; And then you say what you just told us, and that you don't want to push her away, but you feel trapped and like you have no freedom. Then you can tell her you don't mean to sound ungrateful, because she's trying to help, and she's giving you so much help, but it's just so overwhelming.



I know it's easier telling strangers your problems then people who know you well, but it's the only way to really, truly solve the problem.



FURTHERMORE, a baby MUST be around it's mother for his/her first 2 years of life, otherwise, it won't trust you as much when he/she gets older, and will get attached to the person they were around the most before they turn 3. My cousin was sent to China when she was born, and stayed there until she was 3-4. She doesn't trust her parents at all (She practically hates them.), but her relationship with her grandma is amazing.



Good luck! But whatever you do, I don't think you should suck it up. Other grandparents and your boyfriend should definitely see your child!