How do you deal with your entire fammily telling you to get an abortion?

I recently (Tuesday) found out that my Fiance and I are 4 weeks pregnant. When I told my family, of course I didn't expect them to be overly joyed, as he and are are not yet married, and we are at the time, pretty financially strapped.





After I told him, I told my mother, who turned around and told my aunt, my grandmother and my father (whom she has been divorced from since I was 4). Anyway, I am so angry that she went behind my back, and told everyone for me, as if I'm a freakin' teenager. I'm 22 years old, with a stable part time job, and a full time college student. It was not her responsibility to tell anyone.





On top of that, her and my aunt have had several abortions through out their lives (upwards of 9 or so). And have said that ';it's only a life changing experience if you let it be';.





how am I supposed to deal with this? I'm being told by my family to dispose of a baby as if it's a piece of trash.





Have any of you dealt with this before?How do you deal with your entire fammily telling you to get an abortion?
Thank god it's you that's pregnant and not them.





You know the answer to this question and I think you just want reassurance that it's going to be okay.





You must stand in the face of this rejection of the beautiful life you now have growing within you. I would be as non-combative as possible afterall she will be your baby's grandmother. When she brings up anything that makes you feel uneasy just firmly remind her. ';Mom, my boyfriend and I have decided to keep our baby. It's our descision and I understand that you do not approve, I would really appreciate it if you would drop it, okay. I'm a big girl now and I know that I'm making the right choice for me.';





Having a hissy fit will not impress her. Firm well spoken words may just do the trick. A lot of mom's have trouble realizing where they end and thier children begin.





You and your BF might benifit with some counselling. It might help you deal with what your mom is prepared to throw at you better.





Good luck.How do you deal with your entire fammily telling you to get an abortion?
no, but it is not their decision, it's yours. if you want the baby, keep it. if you don't, bring it to term and put it up for adoption. don't let your family tell you what you should do on this one.
No. However dont do it. It says in the bible that its wrong. Just dont do it. And maybe if you disagree with your mom then leave her out of it.
No unborn baby should be compared to trash. Your family is mean and ungrateful. They can't control you anymore . I really think they should put that information on a bar of soap and clean their dirty little mouths with. No I havnt but YOU should defilantly keep the baby if YOU want it
hunny i dealt with that before. on april 4th 2006 i found out i was 4 weeks pregnant. My bf at the time, and i were really young. but the baby wasnt my first, it was his first. he was 17, i was 18. his mother and his sister-in-law told me everyday to abort my baby. him and i made the desicion to keep our baby. it's not their desicion. it's YOURS!!!! as of today, my daughter is a healthy 16 month old toddler. don't listen to what negativity they give to you. it's your baby. and you sound way more stable than him and i were. keep your baby. thats your miracle growing inside of you. do whats best. good luck!
Ouch! I'm so sorry! )0=





First off, congratulations!





I think you need to follow your heart and do what you and your fiancee think is right. Who cares what your family thinks, the baby is YOURS not THEIRS.





If you need help, you can always go to planned parenthood and seek advice and pre-natal care.





Good luck, and I'm sure you will make the right decision.
Just tell them that one day they AND this CHILD will one day be greatful that it is your decision and not theirs.


I was in a similar position with my first although we WERE married..I was asked what are you going ot do now? My answer...apparently I am going to have a baby!
just ignore them you dont have to be married to have kids.just tell them you are not a kid anymore that you are a grown up and that you are ready for this baby and to take on the responsability.you dont have to get an abortion if you dont want to and they cant force you to. they have no say in this as this is your life that you want to live and if you want a family you go ahead and have one.what your mum did was very wrong and no it wasnt her responsability to tell everyone behind your back.dont let anyone tell you otherwise.you have my support
if you don't want to do that then don't. it's your life any they're your family who are supposed to support you and your decisions. in my opinion, abortion is wrong but some people aren't ready for children that's understandable.....





as far as your family, make your own choice for YOU and tell them to accept it or go to hell. your fiance will be there and honestly, everything always turns out alright, even if things do get tight.
wow...i dont mean to be rude but your family is not a good example to you...anyway, its your life now, dont let them manipulate you just because they did something like that before, its your baby...if you think that you can handle to be a mother of your baby then dont listen to your family, and a baby will bring joy to you and to your fiance...


if you like to have this baby then fight for it!!! goodluck and i hope youll be a strong girl...
Abortion is an extreme solution to a realistically normal life stage, not birth control. Having one or two in your lifetime is stupid as it is... having them all the time is dumb and dangerous. Don't listen to those women. Walk away fast.


Next pregnancy, don't tell them until after the deadline for abortion has passed=less of a problem. Good luck and congrats on the lil' one.
you cant kill a baby beacause your mom has and told you too. whether your ready to have a baby or not you already have one! anyway everyone will love the baby after you have it! watch Juno. it was cute she was 16
I am not saying this to be rude, but, I would tell them to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.!!! This baby did not plan to be here and there is no reason for you to kill this child. I was given up for adoption. If I had one chance to meet my mother my words would be.'; I love you for giving me the chance to live and not aborting me!';Honey, like you said you are 22 years old and you know what it takes to take care of a child. So, wear the big girl panties and do what you know is best. Good-Luck and Best Wishes!!!
This must be awful for you hun as your business is spread round the family like wild fire. Families can be both supportive and a pain at the same time and interfering. Whatever you decide between you and your partner is your choice. So whatever your or his family is telling you ignore them its your choice your body your life.


No one can give you straight answers only you know what is right for you


Good Luck Hun


Whatever you decide will be right
i like that ';put it on a bar of soap and clean their dirty little mouthes with it';..





no i have never heard of this.. but dont let your family run your life, its your life and thats your baby.. it sounds like you would hate yourself if you went though with it and did what they wanted. and them having around 9 abortions and saying it is life changing if you let it.. wow thats sad.. and yes it is life changing.. for that little baby that didnt have a chance!





one thing i have learned is if everyone waited to be financially ready for a child, no one would be having children.. we are never ready financially.. and i have also learned that when their is a will there is a way and when you really want something you make it work. Your 22 and your an adult, and it is your life and thats the bottom line, all there is to it.. you going to school, which is wonderful, dont stop because you have a child..





you sound like you and your SO could do this and you have a better future in line by going to school.. congrats on your pregnancy, sorry your family is making it so hard on you
I am so incredibly sorry. Much like you I am a pregnant college student also, only a little younger. No family takes it with happiness and rejoyce the first time you tell them and it's unplanned, but they should be supportive. Since I've become pregnant I have become against abortion because you realize it's a living human inside of you that is depending on you for it's survival. It's one of the most amazing experiences I have EVER gone through, and even though it was unplanned, I wouldn't change it if I could. Family is the most important thing, that's for sure. But if your family is not supportive right now or even ever, the family that matters most is the new family you're starting, with you, your fiance and this baby. You're right; You're 22, not a child. So this is your decision, and just because your mother and aunt don't see abortion as a big deal, you obviously do if it's concerning you. How does your fiance and his family feel about this? I really hope that you do decide to keep this baby and love with everything you have. I also hope that your family comes around or you find a support system. Support during pregnancy is so important. I wish you the best and congradulate you on your new family! Please feel free to message me also, i would love to talk if you need anything. :)
I'm sorry babe but blow them! I was 23 and petrified to tell my family because i knew they'd want to get one done too. And just as a little reminder that this is your child in your womb not your silly aunty's. I can't believe someone could let that happen more than once! You sound like an intelligent young women who's more than at the perfect age to have her own child if you want it. I can't believe they'd push that on you. Shame on them. I wanted to see my baby at 3 months old and abortion video's were about the same age i guessed until i saw one and was horrified. I felt so shameful that i'd offer to pay for these things to 'help' my friends out as a stupid teenager. Look into it yourself before you do that for them. And darlin i wish you the best because I'm not very motherly but this has been the best 2 1/2 months of my life. I have gone days without much food because we're so poor but damn it i wouldn't change it for the world. Now my family love this little girl in their lives as though she's always been here. So I hope from one young mum to another ... that you work out what's right for you and go for it. It's no where near as scary as what my 'family' made it out to be. It's wonderful instead.
I have not.. my parents were upset when they found out i was pregnant and i was married!! Because im so young, 20 and haven't finished school and work full time, they are afraid i would never get a career and the same for my husband... However they would never suggest an abortion.





Im sorry but i think that is soo sickening that your mom and aunt have had so many abortions like its nothing.. they killed those babies! It has a heartbeat at 6 weeks! I think its wrong for anyone to choose to kill a living being just because it doesn't fit in with their life at the time. Don't have sex if you don't want to get pregnant. You are old enough to handle it and you shouldn't listen to them!


Do what you want, this is YOUR life not theirs!
I would tell your mother that YOU are not a murderer! And you refuse to allow her or anyone else to bully you into killing your unborn child! Be harsh!
when i was 19 i let my mother push me into having an abortion (im now 34) and to this day i regret it...and there is a BIG part of me that hates my mother even now...DO NOT let anyone do this to you...wanna know how to deal with it? tell them all if they cant give you positive support just keep thier mouths shut!
I have never personally had to deal with this sort of situation. I am very proud of you for not giving into the pressure from your mother. She should really be more supportive of you wanting to keep your baby. Stay strong, dear. God has a plan for you and your baby. He will help you get through this.





Here is a website with information that you may find useful:





http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-pregnan鈥?/a>
Do what you feel is right..My parents had me when they were really young (they were 19 and 20)...and 25 years later, they are still together and I am Happy. Don't listen to what anyone else says and do what your heart tells you to :)
I read your response to my question and I feel like we're 2 of a kind in this situation. My mom hasn't had an abortion or anything but she always insists on adoption or abortion. I am an adult and my fiance and I really want this baby. It's so hard to tell parents no matter how old you are I think. Everyone struggles finantially at first. (unless you're as rich as donald trump) But all it takes is 2 people who want to take care of and love this child and things will fall into place. See I havn't told my mom yet. I am moving out in a few months and after that then I will tell her because then she can't play the ';you live under my house my rules'; card anymore. I think I found out tuesday also but I am only like a week preggo or so...good luck with everything and if you wanna talk more feel free to e-mail me! congrats!
They will just have to except the fact your having a baby. If not then they really don't need to be around.