How do you deal with a cruel mother?

My mother has been cruel all my life. When she wants you to do something, she'll threaten you with throwing you out of the house or taking something you love away. She's told me many times she wished she had ';put me in pot of boiling water'; when I was a baby. My brother was adopted. If he didn't eat his food, she would yell at him ';I'm going to send you back to your real mother in the Philippines if you don't eat.'; This happened DAILY. Recently she has been pissed at the cats who don't like her because she bullies them. She knows everyone loves them but since she's pissed she's ';accidentally'; started letting them out of the house to get lost. I've suffered major anxiety attacks and depression all my life and I wonder if her treatment has had something to do with it. Ditto with my brother. How would you deal with a person like this? How do I control the HATE I feel towards her and my father for doing nothing to stop her?How do you deal with a cruel mother?
Hi



I have lived with a sometimes cruel mother, (not nearly as bad as your mother) too. She used to tease me in a mean way when I was younger, wasnt protective, broke my stuff.. sort of like the things you describe. I dont want to go on because I think you understand what I mean.



And YES! Your anxiety can be caused by growing up like this. Kids need love and stability.. not cruelty. My sister still has nightmares that our Mom is trying to kill her.



Ive had lots of therapy.. there's alot of pain from being treated cruelly as a child - and as an adult. One thing - one really simple thing I got out of my therapy is simply that not all people are nice. They just arent.. some people arent nice. You want to imagine that your parents are going to be there and love you no matter what, but sometimes they just can. Who knows why they cant.. maybe they had a bad childhood (like in my Mom's case) but they just dont understand how to love.



You cant change people. But you can change how you relate to them. I really feel like you are in an abusive family and the best thing you can do is to get someone to talk to. Start with a guidance counselor at school, they can probably guide you in the right direction. You are strong for dealing with this your whole life, but now you need someone to help you..



I wish you luck.How do you deal with a cruel mother?
you should call the cops are a relative of your mom
My mother was sooo cruel. So once I got married, I just disowned her. They can control us while we are young and living at home and treat us any ole' way. but they forget that we will soon be grown up and gone. They will be lonely old people and have noone else to blame but themselves.
I'm sorry to know abt this... and i do understand very well, bcs i have been in the same situation... but, the only solution is go out far from her...



Put yourself a goal:



Find a job that you can live and maintain with a ceiling and food, then leave the house, only way get dignity and self respect...and find finnaly hapiness you deserve!



That's what i done with 19 years old...!!! until then offer that sacrifice to God and think we will never forget what you suffering now! believe me';!!!



PS. and never let yourself go down and never start using drugs or wrong things!
when my mum goes psycho (it happens a lot) i just walk away, go somewhere else, if you can't do that then seriously tell her to shut the f*ck up, i know it's hard coz she's your mum but she isn't acting like much of a mother so why treat her like one?
You might want to check out fhu.com that discusses all type of relationships and situations such as this.
You And Your Brother Can Come Live With Me =]