How to tell your mother in law.....??!!!?

My mother in law is very nice and good with my little girl (12 weeks) but i don't know how to tell her that i don't agree with how she responds to the baby when she is crying..iam a firm believer of responding to your baby when she is crying an dnot letting her continue for more than a few minutes, at least not when she's still this little but my mother in law believes in the old fashion way, let them cry or they'll be spoiled. It really makes me upset cause i know my baby now and she never cries unless there's something she wants/needs, whether it be food, nappy change, winding, cuddle etc..


How you got any advise on how i can deal with this issue? She's going to baby sit her overnight end of June and i am actually getting really worried!


Thank you :)How to tell your mother in law.....??!!!?
Mother-in-laws are hard to deal with, for fear that you will offend them. I personally get tired of mine. She is constantly around and she lets my 2 year old daughter get away with every thing. It drives me crazy, but I hold my tongue and hope that she leaves soon. What really gets me is when my husband or I punish her for something and my MIL baby's her. Sometimes my husband thinks that I am mad at him when she is around, and I don't want him to think that. But I don't want him to get mad at me either, so I just keep my mouth shut. Your best bet is to either talk to your husband and let him know how you are feeling, and see if he agrees with you, and if he does, than maybe you both can talk to her about it. Good luck and just remember, Unfortunately it only gets worse. I want to move away just so I don't have to see her that much. Don't get me wrong I love her but I can only take so much.How to tell your mother in law.....??!!!?
Ugh trust me. It's pointless. I've been doing in for 9.5 months now and I gave up! Just let her do what she's going do. It's only 1 day, KWIM?
Sorry but you can not change her way of thinking she is very old school. I am an older woman who has raised four children and I never let any of them cry and they are not or were not spoiled. But crying for a little while will not hurt them, it may not help either. Let her have her way for one night it will not hurt your daughter. and with you not around she might just hold the baby the whole time anyway. You might be suprised with how she handles it. good luck.
aside from telling her it is your baby and to have her own-had 2 tell my sis that one. there is nothing you can do. she is going go with her own thinking. she will let ur baby cry so maybe u should get someone else 2 care for ur daughter.


i am very lucky in that respect. my mother-in-law may tease me on occasion, but does not but in.
I'm glad your mother in law is nice and good with your baby. It can be hard to tell a mother in law what you're uncomfortable with, but it's neat when there is little you disagree on.





You can tell her you appreciate all she does and how good she is with your baby, but that you do a few things a bit differently. You like to check after a few minutes to see if the baby needs food or a diaper change.





You can tell her you appreciate her opinion and value it, and will keep that in mind as you take care of your baby. You can remind her that one of the benefits of being a grandmother is that she can give the baby back to mommy and not have to live with the consequences of the baby's crying. You have to live with the consequences because you are mommy. Now that she's grandma, she gets to enjoy the baby and not live with the consequences.





OK... if you trust her enough to baby sit, you have to allow her to do it her way. You may not like that, but if you don't want her letting the baby cry it out:


1) ask her if she can please check the diaper and see if the baby's hungry if it cries more than 5 minutes.


2) if she can't, then you have to decide if you want to hire a babysitter who will do it your way.





If it's going to worry you that much, you should probably hire a babysitter. This may cause some hard feelings, but you should not put yourself in a position of getting so worried. That's not good for you, your health, OR your baby who will sense your distress level and be affected by it.
You are right, studies show that when you respond to your babies cry right away it makes them a happier baby. I got the same thing from my mom as your getting from your mother in law. They don't get spoiled, they actually thrive.





I would just sit down and talk to her about it, or if your uncomfortable have your husband talk to her about it. Just say that you talked to your doctor or that you read that it's very important to respond to your babies cries as soon as you can.
You HAVE to tell her, she dosent know how you feel, she will have no reason but to take your instructions seriously. That is your baby and you know whats best for her. Just tell her the truth. Once its said you will feel much better.
she will be okay. its only 1 night.
Hi 'worried'; please don't be. One night with grandma won't make or break your little one's character, or anything else. The majority of her time is spent with you, therefore, you are her primary influence. If there is one thing I have learned about life, the things you think are insurmountable today, won't even cross your mind within a very short period of time. Let her think she is giving you good advice, it's okay to pretend. You do know your daughter best... bring her up in 'all' ways you choose, but, keep in mind, mom's-in-law just want to be helpful, for the most part. I've had two! Smiling with them will make your life, and your baby's, much easier. If she starts to care for her on a regular basis, you may want to encourage her to go to your baby when she cries, not to pick her up, but to let her know that someone is there for her. Really, you might want to try the same thing. Getting a baby's attention is just as effective in calming them as picking them up. They actually get 'more' from observing you, than being held by you. (Don't get me wrong, there is NOTHING as great as a spectacular hug, we all need those as often as possible!) I cared for many children at a time, for a long time, including many infants, 3 weeks old and up. Not picking them up doesn't hurt them, and, allows them to understand there are others who need attention in their world as well, as long as they know you are still there. I don't mean to discount your concern by any means, but try to put things in order of importance and consequence. YOU are ultimately in control and your baby knows that. Give her credit, 'new' little people are much smarter than you think they are! In the future try only to worry about things that will truly affect your daughter's well being and safety. The rest will take care of itself... honest! *: )


A quick note; during my daycare years, ( I also have three of my own), parents began to call me a 'daycare guru' and call me at all hours for advice. Experience has taught me a great deal. One recent example; My son had a son, in December. His mom has picked him up every time he cries and now, at five months, he is very grumpy. He only wants 'mom' around him and if he doesn't have her, he cries, a very upset cry, all the time! As I said, they are very smart. Very quickly, as he did, your daughter will learn to expect you to pick her up whenever she decides it's time, even if she doesn't have a real need, as you know she does now. They do become really good at getting their way. I don't want to scare you with this example, it doesn't happen all the time, but, again, keep in mind it is much easier to teach them than to 'un' teach them. Always let her know her mommy is there for her. There will be a time, very soon when you aren't going to want to, or be able, (because you're busy) to pick her as often, and if you aren't careful, (depending on many variables), it may be too late. Love her, love your mom-in-law, learn to let the non-catastrophes go, and enjoy every moment of your infant. She won't be one for long enough! (I'm sure hubby will appreciate your having a lighter outlook too!) Grade each new concern that arises with the impending impact they deserve, really think them through.You sound like a great mom, concentrate on that. You said mom-in-law is very nice and good with her, let her feel important! Soon, you will look back on this, so-o-o, make WONDERFUL memories! Sorry for going on. VERY few things bother me, and, whenever I have the opportunity to share how much more fun life is this way, I do. I find, most people say, ';I love hanging out with you Bella, nothing bothers you!'; Relaxing through life will give your daughter a great foundation to learn from. Talk to her and 'explain' grandma, when she isn't around, (nicely of course). You'd be truly surprised how much she will connect with you, and, please take it from me, she does understand EVERYTHING you tell her! Take care, and if you wouldn't mind, give your little one a hug for me!!!!!
i had the same problem except that my baby was on a special diet because his father has type 1 diabetes. so at 5 months, the baby wasn't eating things that she always gave her children. (one of whom obviously turned out to have juvenile diabetes) so we were constantly arguing over her giving him french fries or juice or whatever was restricted because she really thought it wouldn't hurt him. so eventually i had to say ';look this is my baby %26amp; this is how we are raising him'; %26amp; explain to her that babies at that age only cry when they need something. they don't even know HOW to whine or be bratty yet. good luck.
allow ur mother in law to take care as she has more experience than u. practical experience counts a lot than a theoretical one.