How do you deal with your teens attitude??

My daughter, once so loving and my little shadow is now 14 and very headstrong! She gets so bored at home and has to go somewhere all the time. Never wants to spend time with her family (she has 4 other siblings, two are step-sibs) and it seems she is grouchy 24/7! She has no concept of money and that I don't always have extra to give to her for her shopping mall trips and has an attitude if we don't have the foods she wants in the house. She mopes around mumbling things like ';We never have any food cause we're so poor'; Oh it drives me crazy!

She thinks everything that I say no to is so unfair of me and she'll have a little sassy tantrum and run off to her room. I am tired of dealing with this and need to put my foot down. How do I effectivley discipline her and make her understand how selfish and rude she is? She is not the only child and she has to consider everyone else has needs as well, including her mother!How do you deal with your teens attitude??
When dealing with money, set up a monthly allowance in exchange for work chores. All the kids in the house should get this and chores and money should vary by age and need, etc. Or if she can find a job maybe on saturdays she will learn the value of the dollar. It is hard at that age to put value on money. But giving stuff to the kids to allow shopping, etc should be equal.



If she thinks things are unfair, talk with her. Ask her what she thinks is fair. If she spends tuesday night with a friend, then what do you get in exchange?



Sounds like she is acting out for attention and boundaries. She needs boundaries, she is testing her limits to see what she can get away with. So set those boundaries. I am a big fan of asking what teens what as their own punishment, look at the 15 yr olds answer on her, she took away her own cell phone and TV! Teens once they get the hang of it and ';have control'; tend to be harder on themselves and stick to their punishment better because they set it and respect it. This takes time and big lifestyle changes. Yelling doesnt get any partier anywhere but angrier.



Also, set a weekly schedule. It is summer, so life is more lax without school.



Set a time frame of the day that she can spend with friends, she is a teen and needs her peers. Say, everyone is home by dinner at 6pm. (or wahtever time). Then, pick two nights a week where she can go out with friends, but make her find her own transportation and set a reasonable curfew. Compromise on this, ask her what she thinks is fair and you tell her what you think is fair, and compromise. Maybe agree to start earlier and as her behavior changes and she gives family respect, etc then it will increase, pick a time frame for this.



Also, lay out the rules, if she argues, disrespects, etc then she will loose a night out or day. etc



Contracts are good, people like things in writing and helps them remember and they trust people will stick to it.



You and your husband make a contract with her. If she does this this and this then she can have this this and this. Make an exchange.



I think by doing that and compromising you will both find a better peace in life with each other.



But she is a teen, horomones are going, sounds like she has had quite a bit of stress and change in her life. Dont let her off leash, but maybe get a longer line!



GOOD LUCK and BREATHE!!!!



The next four years will go by too quick and you wont get them back.How do you deal with your teens attitude??
remember you were 14 once too and probably had an attitude. she's legal working age, tell her to get a part time job to see what it's like to have to pay for the things she wants. and make sure you take the time to spend with her, sometimes kids just want attention and affection. acting out is a way of getting that. be patient with her, before you know it she will be grown and gone.
i think that you should do the same thing she does just to show her how annoying she is. hopefully soon she'll get the hint and stop her rude and disrepectful behavior.
tell her if she wants money she can get a job! talk to her tell her to stop whining also remember the hormones at that age.
spanking
';Spare the rod, spoil the child';...
dont yell at her and start a fight.

she obviously has hormones.

that wouldnt turn out well.



you should just try talking to her in a way she'll understand.

have her come to the grocery with you and pick out the foods she wants.

then she won't have you to blame.



about the family deal,

that's normal.

no teenage girl thinks its cool to hang out with their family members.

tell her to invite friends over or something.

it may make her happier to see them.

or, have her pick a hobby of some sort.

find something she really loves to do.

but dont force it either.



this will pass evenntually.

hormones, hormones, hormones.
I've got an easy solution for you...Ask her how to fix the problem. GO TO YOUR DAUGHTER!!!



I am a teen, I know how hard it is to be one. Times are changing--life can truly be rough for us. Not that it isnt for the rest of the world and that we have the right to make the world living hell for everyone around us but when we start creating problems for other people often times we are reaching out for help.



There is no excuse for being selfish or unkind. Maybe you should have the family volunteer together to help at a homeless shelter or to pick up trash at the park? Her attitude probably really isnt only her; it probably is reflected from the WHOLE family.



Take a walk together, get some coffee, eat some brownies, just get out some place quiet just you and her. Find out whats going on with her. What can you do to help her help you. Families are team efforts. :)



Best of luck to you!!
haha, im totally gonna use the ';we never have any food in the house cuz we're so poor'; thing. thanks. jk, but im 15, and i can totally see both points of view, and i know what i wish my mother would do with me when i have an attitude. i'd say sit down with her and tell her that things will be taken away (tv and phone and computer use) if her behavior doesnt stop. but make sure you dont do it all at once, cuz that will just make it all worse. :) if she has a tv in her room, try to make that the last thing to take away, but start small. no remote. im pretty lazy, so im not a big fan of manually changing the channel. then no cell phone. that usually makes me stop, unless my mother keeps it for like ever. id say start with a day. if she continues, the computer. then, last of all, take her tv out of her room. its time consuming, but it should help with her attitude. but make sure you talk to her! otherwise, shes gonna resent you for it. believe me.