How to deal with your mom missing your college graduation?

My mother missed my college graduation (B.A.) and the reason I was given was because it was too far away (3hrs) and she doesn't like riding the highway. I told her if she missed this I would never speak to her again. Well she missed it and she can't understand why I'm so upset. She said my daughter and husband was there so I'll be alright. My father wasn't there but that's because he's been deceased since I was a baby. She's the only parent I have and I'm her oldest child and the only one to graduate from college. I would have thought my mother would have been proud of me but I guess not. Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be upset?How to deal with your mom missing your college graduation?
The fact that it meant so much to you and she didn't turn up, just does not sit right with me. I asked my hubby, what he thought and he agrees with me, we'd both of been there for our children, to cheer them on, after all their hard work.



The fact that it's the 'icing' on the cake too, she's does not sound like she's ever really been there for you. If not, don't keep hurting yourself, by hoping she will turn into the mother, you 'should' of had or deserve. It most probably won't happen. It's not nice or fair, but realizing the truth, can be very empowering. You take care of you and nurture the person you are and want to be.



I real do recommend counselling, if you have not had it already. It is amazing how many behaviours we can pick up, to protect ourselves, when growing up with such a person. (plus her creep, jacka$$ of a husband) These often only come out, later in life.



If you can accept your mothers limits and love her, if she is hurting you too much, set up boundaries you can live with...ie don't visit much, phone call now and then. OR if it's too bad, cut all contact. ONLY you can make that decision.



I had to cut all ties with my own mother. It is not easy.How to deal with your mom missing your college graduation?
It is ok i am sure you have other important thing she can attend don't let one thing bring you down for the rest of your life.

';Life goes on';
You're overreacting!!! I'm not even inviting my parents to my college graduation in June!!
I would definitely be upset, especially if you told her about how important it was to you. College graduation is a big thing.



I would be mad for quite a while, but I'm not sure that I could stop talking to my mom because of it.
Well, I would pull the plug right there kiddo. Sounds like she wouldnt even pee on you if you were on fire.
Well wasn't there any one who could have given her a ride?



In any case, she should have found a way to get there..taken the whole day if she had to, back roads or what ever.



you are not overreacting, you gave her a choice, and the consequences if she chose one you weren't happy with. Now do what she did with you as a child, stick by your decision.
I think you have a right to be HURT, but that anger is misplaced and ultimatums suck. You don't get to demand that people toe your line on your special day (';be there or I'm never speaking to you!';), but you do get to be hurt if they don't indicate that they care.



If someone gave me an ';or else,'; it would make me that much more likely to have something else to do that day...even if it was picking my toes watching General Hospital.



My dad missed my 7th through 39th birthdays, HS graduation and all four college graduations and the births of his five grandchildren. He had other priorities. Poop happens.
That's a shame. I guess somehow this milestone isn't as meaningful for her as it is for you. If you are the first to graduate from college in your family, she may just not understand even the significance of it, or maybe she does all too well, and somehow feels inferior or something??



I'm sure she is probably proud of you in her own way. You just have to learn to accept the type of love and pride that she is able/willing to offer, and let go of the other expectations.



You have a right to be disappointed, and to lower your expectations and even to distance yourself from her to show her it hurt you, but don't let this be something that estranges you from her from now on. There really may be more to it that she just isn't able to talk about--depending on her age/health it may be physically hard/impossible for her to travel that distance in a car, sit/stand/walk that far, etc., or she may not even have the money for the gas and trip.



Try to let it go if you can.
Yeah thats a good reason to never speak to your mother. Be happy you have a mother and no one cares that you got some fancy *** college degree, and what kind it was.
I feel sorry for your mother because she has such a self centered child.
She is thinking of herself. Maybe she didn't have a dress to wear, or her hair was ugly, or she had a pain somewhere. Maybe she doesn't go many places. (I don't like to leave the house, myself. I'm 71 years old.) Anyway she talked herself out of going by thinking your daughter could take her place. Many older women are like that so don't take it personally. You are overreacting and yes, you do have a right to be upset, too. Just accept her as she is and love her. I'm sure she loves you and is proud of you, too.