How to deal with a controlling mother in law?

She expects my husband to phone her everyday. He phones her twice a day js to please her and always has to listens to her complaints, of her being upset over the slightest things etc. She wants to hv a say in our lives and expects us to put her and her husband on top of our list. She is never satisfied with anything we do for her.



Can anyone share with me your experience how to deal with such difficult MIL? Any advice is appreciated.How to deal with a controlling mother in law?
MY MIL is the same way. she always wanted my husband to call her when she got home from work..I did not mind that I talk to my mom every day..however she would have him on the phone for hours over nothing. she always expects him to run and help her and his brother (who is 30, lives with mommy and is happy to let her take care of him). I finally got to the point I couldn't stand it. I talked to my husband and he weaned away from the calls and the visits because she made everyone here miserable. she has gotten so bad she won't even talk to him now. the best advice I can give you is to not talk to her about it but talk to your husband. Hopefully he will agree and he will know best how to handle her. It will be better coming from the son and not the DIL trust me on that one.How to deal with a controlling mother in law?
Have your husband explain to her (and his dad) that he loves them and respects them, but he now has a family of his own and wants to put you (and any future children) as a first priority in his life as they did. ..but in order to do that he needs to separate himself from them and their nest a little bit. Have him set up a designated time to call and talk to Mom....like a couple times a week. And during these conversations he needs to take advantage of talking to her about ';not sweating the small stuff in life'; and not worrying about the things in life that she does not have the ability to change. Have him tell her that he wants his conversations with her to be happy and positive and if she starts her negativity, he needs to tell her that he has to go. He needs to put a stop to this activity quick. It may be hard on her, but if he's consistent, she will learn that if she wants to talk to him at all that she's going to have to change her attitude about a lot of things.
Okay, My MIL was killed when my husband was about 15 and my mom died from cancer when I was 4. So My husbands grandmother hates me for marrying into her family. Nobody is good enough for them. She hates her other DILs also. She tells everybody what to do and how to act and how to spend their money. I want to buy a house and my husband wont do it because his grandmother says otherwise. I got back at her one time for calling me a b*tch when she was drunk. I didnt let her see our son for 2 months. Oh she hated it, now she hates me even more, but every wednesday we go over to her house for a family dinner. Isnt it great having a pain in the butt in law.
Fortunately for me, I don't have one.
Make sure you and your husband are in agreement. If he doesn't back you up then you're in for a long, hard haul. I'm worried when you write that he phones her twice a day to please her...does he always compromise what he wants to please her??



Stand your ground, be firm yet polite. Show her respect and hopefully she will come around to respecting you and her son.



If she starts trashing you, remind her that men generally choose a wife that reminds them of their mother!!



Best of luck to you.
When a man chooses to marry, He leave his mother and father and starts his own family , and should be mature enough to sever the apron strings and yet show respect. She is not showing him respect in continuing to treat him as a child. Time to hang up the phone and stop being stressed over things that are not your problem. she needs to learn to let go.
The best thing is to talk to your husband about it.. he is the onlyone who can stop this. She needs to understand that you and your husband need your time alone and that the most important thing right now is you and your husband.
does your husband know about all this.. have you watch the movie MONSTER-IN LAW starting Jennifer Lopez
First off tell your husband your feelings. Second of all make an appointment to have lunch with her just the two of you and then let her have it. Make sure it's in a public place. Make sure your tone is as sweet as pie but menacing and get your point across w/ meaning. She'll either back off or she'll be offended. Either way she'll know how you feel. Make sure your husband defends you when she comes running to him to tatle on you. B/c if he doesn't then you are in a losing battle. She'll continue to run you over as long as he refuses to back you up and show his back bone.
Been there no longer doing it. What works for me and my husband. 1st. he is free to call and or talk to his mother as much as he wants however I am not interested in the conversation or drama of none productive bull. 2nd what goes on in our home is not discussed with her nor am I interested in her opinion or suggestions.



The less you tell them the less then have to bit** about. No one can control you unless you let them. I just do as I feel is

best for my family and don't worry about what my mil thinks or has to say. Your husbands enjoys hearing her complaints then good for him mine is not interested in the drama and won't call his mother so there you go.
Wow, I would just distance myself some. Why does your husband call her twice a day. He is feeding right into the situation. My husband speaks with his mom maybe once a month if that. Of course we live in different states. When we do see her she is wonderful to us. She surprised by coming to town on mothers day so we MIL, brother in laws family, our family got together and had a BBQ, we brought all the meat so she slipped us some money. I Love her. Good Luck.