How do you deal with a mother-in-law who refuses to leave your partner alone for 5 min without being slack?

My Fiance and I have been together for 3 years and his mother openly tries to break us up. We have gone to counseling sessions and tried to sort out the issue but nothing helps. I'm getting really frustrated as a lot of things that she does negatively impacts on his work, study and relationships with friends and me and my family. Nothing that he or I does is good enough for her and she insists on having the last word on everything, even if it doesn't involve her. Please help me before a family split occurs, quite a few times she has asked my fiance to choose between us an he's been able to get out of it but she is asking more and more.How do you deal with a mother-in-law who refuses to leave your partner alone for 5 min without being slack?
Well you have married a mama's boy. My cousin lost two marriages due to her mother. This man isn't going to change. Give him the option of putting a stop to it or your moving out. Is harsh as this sounds your happiness is more important. But the only thing that sucks if you leave is the old bat gets what she wants.How do you deal with a mother-in-law who refuses to leave your partner alone for 5 min without being slack?
i understand this so well i had major issues with my wifes mom .man talking about a pain it the you know what.your partner should choose you instead of mom if hes got common sense.when my wifes mom died the end of last year i was relieved so happy and not a tear shed from my eyes over her.im glad shes gone if you knew the whole story youll understand.
If she is that bad, and it sounds like she is, then your fiance needs to man up and tell his mother to back off. She shouldn't be allowed over if she is not willing to accept you as family and treat you well. I've had to do similar stuff with my own family about my ex. I married her to be with her and my family came second. Sure we split after several years, but while we were married she was number one in my life. (Except for our son. He came before anyone and everything).



Anyway, talk to your fiance about this and see if he don't agree with what I just told you. If he can't put you first, then why be willing to marry him?
He needs to sever all ties with her! I disowned all my family several years ago. Hell, I got friends I like better than anyone in my family!
Based on the limited information you've provided. Unless he's prepared to pay for his own education and expenses (or you are), he's still obliged to them. When he's prepared to make his own way, he'll have more freedom to set boundaries in his life. If your allowing this to effect your relationship now (as his gf, not wife), she'll certainly get what she wants, because you gave it to her. This is something that he needs to come to on his own, forcing the issue chances breaking the relationship.
You can't deal with her. It's up to your fiance to do that and if he hasn't done it already, he probably never will.
its time to not answer her phone calls its time to move away from her and tell her off and you need to tell him its her or me and if he cant stand up to her then break up and move on its the worst thing you can do is to marry him because this woman cant let go she doesnt have a life other than making someone else miserable she is a controlling ***** who will never stop interfering unless she is put in her place
Things would be so much easier if your fiance had the balls to set her straight.
Why don't you just leave the baby boy? This woman is going to ruin the rest of your life if you marry this man.
Its up to your FIANCE to tell his mother to back off. If he won't do this, then you'll be marrying a ';momma's boy'; and your marriage will be more of the same. He will always take his mother's side or advice over yours.



Think long and hard if he's not standing up to his mother. The Bible says a man will leave his mother and father when he gets married - for GOOD reasons.
STOP ALLOWING HER ANY SAY!



Very simple. You need boundaries. Boundaries that BOTH you and your spouse stick by. First and foremost that any time she says something negative, or that isn't any of her business, or the next time she asks him to choose between you and his family -- then say, ';I'm sorry, but if your going to continue with this negative attitude then I'm going to end the conversation.'; If she continues then do just that. Hang up. Leave. Tell her to leave.



That's another thing. Always go to her, so if she starts in you can leave. DO NOT allow her to visit your home often.



When she gets the point that your not willing to hear her out anymore -- and that essentially he is choosing you - then she will start to peter off with her demands. If she is stubborn enough to end it then you have your answer about her willingness to compromise.



Anyway. Talk to your spouse. Create boundaries. Stick by them. It WILL take months to maybe a year to get this worked out, but you have to remember to be firm and consistent. Do not bend on this or you will never be happy.
The truth of the matter is if you marry he has to leave and cleave

He need to either be loyal to you and back you up and stand with you as he not a child any more and need to make his own choices and she need to butt out

If he not willing or to afraid to stand up to her and walk away from her if need be then you need to walk away

I married a guy who need his mother approval and option on everything , it was like there was three in the marriage, It ended in divorce (there was other big issues to) there can only be two in a marriage
she sounds like the typical f*cking old trout forever possessive mother in law. this is the problem. you cant change her, and you cant kill her without going to jail. the only person who can manage this is your husband, and if he cannot manage her, then this is his problem, and his failed marriage as a result of it, not yours.



momma's boys. a bl**dy nuisance but you knew this when you married him love and she is part of the package. and whether you like it or not, probably alot of his good qualities are a direct result of her being pampering to him all his life.
That's a tough situation. I suffered from my mother in law (who moved in with us in 1992) till she finally got her stroke 4 years ago.



If he loves you, you will be his primary focus, yet you must be realistic, too--few people ever diss their moms. Try to limit interactions to safe events, let comments go into one ear and out the other, and once you have kids, there is a very good chance that she'll be a changed person. In the meantime, hold tight. There are two traps you must avoid: Thinking you must please her all the time--no, you don't--and the other is to tell your sweety boy that he has to choose. It would be against nature for him to do that. Just navigate this shoal that many women have travelled with skill, and you will be rewarded with a grateful hubby (remind him gently that you do put up with a lot from his mom), and a happy mother-in-law.