I have the same problem with my mother in law, or the outlaw as i call her. She says bad things about my family, tells my kids that were not good parents as we dont spoil them rotten etc. Best thing to do is ignore her as much as possible and dont let her get in the way of you and your fiance. She wants him all to herself! My hubby has seen the evilness in his mother and now doesnt listen to her nasty remarks. She will get fed up and move on im sure when she doesnt destroy your relationship. I could never live with my inlaw, i'd end up inside for manslaughter!How do you deal with in-laws?
Ignore her. She will take the hint eventually. And the cheeky cow has no right to speak to your mother like that....did your boyfriend not have a go at her about it?
If he didn't, you need to kick him into touch as well. Lol
talk to your fiance, he's the one that needs to put her in her place not u, if he's a woos, then that's red flag which means your future will be full of drama and heartache...trust me, some times it's best not to get married at all to end up with a mama's boy...
1) Don't move in with him until you are married ; that is the point of getting engaged isn't it?
2) Is she is going to carry on living with you? If so insist you look for a house with a granny annex or flat
3) Make sure you get a joint morgage with your name on it before you do number 2 and buy as 'tenants in common'.
Do not let love blind you to the fact that you will be in a very precarious position if you just move in - the fact that he is your 'fiance' does not change that. I think his mum is scared she is going to find herself on the street so doing number 2 would combat that fear whilst giving you both your privacy.
If he is not prepared to do this for you find yourself someone else.
sadly you are never going to win what ever you do.tell your partner ;then take it from there.
Nightmare.
Have you spoke to your partner.
I would move in just to spite her, she is prob being horrible just to stop you moving in. She does not want anyone to have her son.
Talk to her and ask her what problem she has with you?
Good luck
i ignore my in laws as much as i can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You need to stop aminute andlook at the situation from another perspective.
The woman is living in her son's home, for heavens sakes. She's the ignorant one for being there and imposseing on and in his son's life.
You may be toooo sensitive. let her be the way she's going to be.
I'd move in and start right away about who's boss and who really belongs there. IF she makes comments about your family, let her ad the bf know you won't tolerate it.
It' best to start being the brave one when it's in-laws who try and rule the roost.
I love my inlaws so I dont know what to tell you
Ive been in a similar situation myself but it got so bad that my fiance had to choose sides, me or his family. (I didn't put him in this position.) His family did something so hurtful that i just could not be around them. he made it clear to his family that he loved me and i was part of his life now and they need to deal with it. It all worked out once they realised this.
You need to tell your fiance how you feel and if he wont speak to his mother about how unreasonable she is being then you should. She obviously has a problem letting her son go. Is this the first time she has had to deal with something lke this?
DO NOT take your relationship any further until you know were you stand you could end up more hurt than you are now.
you keep your friends close and your enemies closer!! she is one hell of an enemy!! I would move in anyhow - be sweet and nice and face her off - if it gets too much and you feel she is been vindictive towards you - stand up to her - tell her what she is doing - don't ever bother telling the man!! it is pointless!! they might back you up periodically but they cannot be cruel to their mothers as much as you feel like you could be! whatever she says about your mother - who cares - you know the truth - just laugh when she is derogatory and say ';whatever love'; if you don't move in she WINS!! and we can't have that!!
my sister ignors her husbans mother because she can't stand her because she is telling her what to do Good luck
Next time your MIL to be starts to bad mouth your family tell her ignorance is bliss and your blissfully happy that she's showing her ignorance all by herself. She can't pin this on you.
dont move and forget to tell them
I deal with mine by not seeing them i feel for me this is best that way there are no arguments and they have nothing to cast up.
I would find out the reason why she is staying at your fiance's house and then get your fiance to find her a new place to live. I would not move into this situation as it will only get worse as long as all 3 of you live under the same roof. What will happen when you get married? Is she still going to be living there? And what happens if you have kids? It wont be a happy enviroment to live in and you would not like to be in a position where you feel trapped as you wont be able to escape. Decide if he is the one for if so you then take each step together.
I guess you just have to ignore her. Not gonna ';win'; this one.
My MIL used to say nasty things to me in a hateful voice. If I complained to my hubby and he asked he about it, she would say
';Well, all I said was......'; and say the same dang thing in a sweet tone, and it sounded good. Then, hubby thought I was trying to cause trouble for no reason. She was a master at that.
Don't move in with your fiance until you are married. And then, be prepared. If his Mama lives with you, he's generally going to take her side of issues.
shoot them
my monster in law as i like to call her hated my mother with a vengeance. my mum was a mental health nurse and the out law is a lab rat. the outlaw always thought of my mum as a scrubber as my mum worked long and arduous hours to provide for her 3 kids whereas she went back to work when my hubby was 13. my mum was quiet and didnt like confrontation. she picked a fight with my mum for no reason and my mum decked her. me and the hubby didnt get involved as she had it coming.
She is clearly threatend by you, what does your fiance say about his mother? If you and him plan on getting married I suggest you make sure that he defends you and reminds her that you are giong to be his wife, and that any disrespect she shows you, shes showing him, and that he loves you and nothing is going to break you guys up even her and her tantrums, About moving in make sure that you and your fiance set boundaries especially in the bedroom, and only be there as you feel safe, dont make a fire out of smoke, but it is your fiances place to put his mom in hers, she needs to understand that the time for raising is over and now she needs to let go and let him live his life as she lived hers.
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