How did you deal with your parents' death?

My mother is dying of terminal cancer and is on life support. I know she is going to die and I just have these deppressive feelings all the time, grief and this nagging sorrow that just doesn't stop everytime I think about her life just being over here on earth. I have faith and hope for a new heaven and new earth and the ressurection, but what do I do to survive the here and now? I feel so lost and depressed as I have never before felt. Will I always feel so brokenhearted? It's like the one person who thought I was special in the way a mother does is just not going to be around. I'm just carrying this tremendous burden of sorrow. How do I cope - help! This is probably completely normal right and everyone goes through this? Please tell me the sun will rise again and I will feel joy once more.How did you deal with your parents' death?
My mom died in 2001, 5 days before Christmas from oral cancer due to smoking. I was fully prepared for her passing as whe was sick for more than a year...or so I thought.


She, before she left for the hospital the final time, was crocheting this beautiful blanket for my aunt. It was these intricate raised roses inside squares. She made all of the little squares before she left. But she never had the chance to link them altogether. So the day she died we assembled at my parents house and there on the floor by her chair at my parent's house was a pile of little magenta roses inside ivory squares. That is when I lost it.


Today whenever I hear the song by Live ';lightning crashes'; and it gets to the part 'the old mother dies...her intentions fall to the floor.'


I try hard, very hard not to well up.How did you deal with your parents' death?
I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do, but I do hope you feel better.
When my mother died of brain cancer, I was only eight, so I really didn't understand a lot of what happened. She decided to go through hospice care and die at home, so I saw her slowly fall apart. It was a horrible experience.





My family members flew down from Washington, and that helped. My dad also got me and my brother a therapist. Therapy really does help, and you should definitely consider it. Death is a very tramautic experience, and you may never really get over your mother's death. I still cry when I think about my mother, and it's been more than a decade.
I HAVE NOT BEEN IN THAT POSITION BUT I WOULD THINK BY TALKING TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY
the sun will rise again and you will feel joy once more
Everyone deals with death in their own way. There is nobody on here that can tell you how you should deal with it.





Just do what feels natural and right, you'll come to terms with everything eventually.
Yes it will be hard and it is normal. If things get too bad, therapy is good. It really actually does help.
I'm sorry for your loss. My dad died a couple weeks ago. Look to Jesus, draw close to Jesus, He gives comfort and pours out His love to all who ask Him for it :)
people often look at death as a tragedy.


although difficult, i want to say that we should be happy for them.


they completed the cycle of life! it is inevitable.


why be depressed over it?


good luck.
uh... wow... umm... you should eventually feel better, the feelings you have now is something EVERYONE gets when a loved one dies... you will feel better again, untill then just tell everyone to LEAVE YOU ALONE!!! go eat some icecream and a bit of chocolate... it might not help much with the hurt but it will help with the sorrow... just dont drown yourself with it... thats never the answer
I am sorry for you ...i dont know how to console you but you have to move in life so just think that she is just leaving her body but her soul will be always there for you .
My mom died when i was 16. We were VERY very close. So i know how you feel. The best advice i can give you is just to let time take care of everything. Remember that your friends will always be there to help you. I'm sorry that i can't give you much advice, but i really do know what you are going through and i wish you the best of luck. Everything will be fine, trust me.
really honey, there is nothing you can do but pray and hope that she is going to be okay. if she doesnt turn out to be okay then the only thing you can do is be strong and it NEVER hurts to cry as long as you dont have bad thoughts about hurting yourself. never do that. if you need support or anything else is going on then email me. i love to help.
just spend as much time as possible with her as you can now. tell her to visit you in ur dreams and maybe some kind of sign that she is near. But she will always be near you and alive, because souls do not die. just think of it as passing on to a better state. she will be completely happy and free. You can always talk to her, she will hear you and so will god and your angels. Ur not alone ever even though it feels like it. Other people are going through the same thing at the same time too. You should go to a support group for mourning the loss of a loved one. The sign will rise again!
Ultimately it is up to God whether she lives or dies.
Absolutely, the sun will rise and you will feel joy again. It just takes time. When my dad passed (he was comatose and was on life support also) it was one of the most horrible years of my life. It was as if a really big part of me died with him since he was my best friend when I was a little girl. The pain is definitely still there..and I'd be surprised if it ever does go away. But with time, it will get less painful and you'll go on with life as best as you can. You have an excuse to be upset right now...in fact, I suggest that you don't hold it in at all - if you have someone to speak with about this or if you have a friend that's willing to spend a lot of time with you to get your mind off things...then do that. It will help so much. I wish I had done that when my dad passed. I'm quite sure that I would have became better a bit more faster. Anyway, I'm very sorry about your mom. I know times are very tough, but...it'll be alright soon. %26lt;3
I'm very sorry to hear this :( I know what it feels like...my dad passed away in march of this year, and it was a very hard thing to overcome. However, I stopped to think to myself ';I've done all I could do to help....I must live on with my life, get over this sadness, and make my dad proud one way or another';, and now I've regained confidense. The best you can do, is live your life however you see fit...and always know your mom will watch over you. Every step of the way! Make her proud! And many many years from now, whenever you pass on...just know you'll happily be reunited, in a better place. Think back to the good times you've had. :) Don't think of the negative things.
I don't know what I would do if i lost my mother..I'm really sorry..





To cope therapy and talking to family and friends..or finding an interest that keeps you busy at all times..





Eventually i hope that you will feel better
death is an unavoidable thing of life. you cannot stop it, so make the most of the time that you have with your mum now, the sun will rise again eventually. get professional help, as humans we think that we can handle everything ourselves but that isn't actually the case, you need someone to talk to just like your mother needs her daughter. when someone we love dies or you know is dying you become depressed, its natural to feel upset, but you need to try to be strong and remember even when your mother has passed away she will ALWAYS be watching over you and will ALWAYS love you just like you will always love and remember her.





take care and remember that love never dies
Four months ago my girlfriend of 3 years died in her sleep while we were both away at school, she was 19. No one expected it or even could have seen it coming. I deal day by day. Some days are a challenge that seems will never end, other days its not so debilitating. However, everyday I feel brokenhearted. I feel cheated of my chance to have what I should. My dreams, goals and promises are no more. She was to enter med-school next year and I am already in Law School and finding it difficult to continue with academics while staring this tragedy down. I deal by remembering. Sharing. I leave God out of it. The ';idea'; of ';his plan'; is horseshit. Let her live on inside of you everyday. That is when I get my joy, when I can be someone that she is and will forever be proud of.
My grandfather, who I'm really close to, also has terminal cancer. And my great grandfather passed at the beginning of the summer It is devastating and its really hard but different people deal with death in different ways. First of all, my prayers and condolences. Secondly, when you lose a loved one, you're always going to feel that lose and that pain. The pain never goes away but decreases and softens over time, not by much, but things get easier. The key is to hold nothing back. If you need to cry, cry. Also, talk to your other family members to remind yourself that you're not alone. All in all...mourn. That is important. Talk to people keep busy and dont feel guilty if you're happy or you laugh or you smile and remind yourself that you and your mother will be together again someday and that she'll always be watching over you.





Sorry so long. Hope I helped. God Bless
I lost both of my parents when I was 18 (I am 35 now). My mom died (from COPD when she was 38) 6 months before my dad died (from cancer when he was 43). Grief and sorrow are natural it's part of the cycle of grieving. No one can tell you how to greive. The cycle is different for everyone. There are different stages and each one lasts a different amount of time for everyone. It's especially hard when you know it's coming. My big hang up was when I would think about events in my life that I would want them there for. Wedding day, birth of children, and so on. Both of my parents died from different illnesses. Sometimes I think it would have been better for me had they died in accidents, such as work or car (because had they have taken better care of them selves and made better choices chances are very good that they would still be here). It is a hard situation to deal with. I feel for you. Now is the time to reflect on the good times you had with your mom. Spend as much time as you can with her even if she is asleep and not speaking to or with you. Find a support group in your area. That helped me a lot. Talking through your feelings with prople who are either going through or have just gone through what you are dealing with will put everything in perspective. Good Luck to you. Feel free to contact me should you want to talk. Or vent or whatever.
Prayer and support of other Christians. The sun will rise again and you will feel joy once more. I'll pray for you.
Dear Lisa, I'm sorry your mother is ill. My mother and father were both dead before my 9th birthday. I was a miserable lot for years. It was very painful.





Later in life I became a born again Christian. I lost my younger and one of my older sisters within a month and a day of each other. The deaths of those two was much easier to cope with, because with my relationship with God.





We merely pass from death to life in eternity, much like the seeds that fall from a tree. They must first die before they can grow into a tree


I know you will miss your mom tremendously, but while she is still with you, have fun with her, make some good memories before she goes on her journey. I rest just knowing that when I pass from death to life, I will see my mother and sisters who have gone before me.
We always feel sad when we hear someone that we love are leaving us on earth. When my sister at the age of 49 passed away suddenly, I wept for years, thought I have faith that she will be happier in heaven where there are no pain and suffering, but I just can't help missing her, talking to her, sharing our sisterhood, our problems and joy. But as time goes by I learn how tol cope with it. Think about the good old things we did together, sharing with other sister in Christ will certainly make me have the peace in mind.
It is perfectly normal to feel this way. Just know that when she passes she is happier than ever before. Know that she will be looking down upon you. She will always be in your heart. Of course you will always miss her. But Time Will heal your aching heart. and know that your not alone, there is always a person to help you through these hard times. I go to God in my hard times. But if that's not your religion than you can always trust a friend. if you want you could always talk to me. Sometimes it's easier to say things to some one you cant see. knowing that I would never judge you or anybody.I have a friend who's father passed and I helped her through it. and to those reading I am an nonjudgmental person you can talk to about anything.
i picked my nose and licked my finger and sat there like a tool and den when we threw her in the ovens is auchwitz with duh nasty jewzz i giggled cuz im a jew too





PS congrats to ur mom on da extra pay she's receiving from her work in da hospital,. we need more workers like her!