How do you deal with a Mother in Law that just butts in your relationship?

My Mother in Law butts in my husband and I marriage. I know I know, I've heard a million times to have my husband do something but really there is nothing he can do. All she does is point out all the wrong doings that I do in the relationship, but never see's the wrong that her son has done or does do. But that's okay with me because I do realize that it's her son. I just want to know a way to handle her always critizing mistakes I make in OUR relationship. The one that she isn't supposed to even be in. And when I say something to her, she gives me a guilt trip that she is only trying to make her son and I's marriage better. But that's not what she is doing....all she is doing is causing problems by doing her bullsh*t. So what do I do???How do you deal with a Mother in Law that just butts in your relationship?
she does love her son and u know she is always going to take his side, but if he weren't over at her house telling her about it, she would never know and wouldn't be interfering. maybe her motives are genuine, maybe not, but ask your husband to stop sharing every little disagreement with her.How do you deal with a Mother in Law that just butts in your relationship?
tell her if she wants to help that she needs to butt out and let you guys figure it out on your own and if you want her advice you'll ask but until then she needs to keep her mouth shut.
Tell her you take cash or checks and this will possibly make the marriage better, otherwise, you are fine without the help.
So, couldn't you address those points bluntly?

1. My mistakes will be worked out between me and my husband.

2. You don't belong in our relationship.

3. It doesn't help our marriage when you do this.
You don't do anything except ignore her comments! Some MIL's can make it miserable but only if you let them know it bothers you. This is tough because she is your husbands mom and you should of course want things to be good. Try to find a little humor in this and just keep on grinning. It'll surely make her wonder what you're thinking when she says something criticizing to you. If you keep your attitude bright and cheerful even when things are being said then you're showing her that her efforts are not provoking a reaction in you. This worked for me with my meddling mother in law and everyone ended up very happy.
Move away. Change your number. If your husband doesn't stick to his vow to ';leaving his mother and father and cleaving to his wife';...then he broke his promise in marriage to you.



sounds like he likes being ';mom's favorite'; and you're on her list.
I agree with ruth lol. tell her that you have it under control and are both working to make your marriage better.... if she keeps butting in give her marriage advice, and tell her you thought the stuff she told you was helpful so you thought you would do the same for her(after all people always are growing in their relationships!) maybe that will send her the message to butt out! good luck!
I too had an interfering mother in law! so i do sympathize as i know how draining it is on a daily basis. I got blamed for everything money troubles (which was my ex husbands fault not mine!) If im honest it didn't end till i divorced him! (Not because of her i should point out) but she saw that i made my life better and hes still doing the same ..... nothing at all! Unfortunately in most cases you just have to put up with it, or be civil but have a word with her, try and let her know her comments effect you both. Good luck x
She is older than you and knows exactly what she is doing. The truth is, now brace yourself, she doesn't like you.



What you have to do is be smarter than her. When she criticizes you, calmly sit with her and and ask, ';how would you have done it better?'; This will surprise her because you are asking instead of retaliating. She is trying to create a wedge between you and your husband. He knows that he should stand up to her, but that, as you have pointed out, would seem to be pointless.



At first this will seem and feel to be the hardest thing to do - ever. And she will test to see if you really are being sincere. So she will point out even more things. You still need to be calm and thank her for her generous advice.



There is a point where she would have no business and when she goes there, if she dares, you will have to take her aside privately and calmly deal with that as well. The marital bed. That is a topic where she has no business and you must really show how much of a woman you are to your house if she ever goes that far.



Once the peace returns to the home, your husband will be proud of you. Notice the feelings you may have with him for not stepping in to do what was his business to handle. Those feelings will subside. Be patient.
is she saying these things to you specifically? it sounds like it's time to be very blunt with her and tell her to stay out of your marital affairs. if she continues talking tell her you will be hanging up the phone or leaving the house (whichever is appropriate at the time) if she doesn't stop.then carry out your threat. a good parent knows to stay out of their children's lives when it comes to things like this. she obviously has no life of her own so she's decided to get involved in yours
You need to sit down with her together, as a team, and tell her that while you appreciate her intentions, that your marriage is your own, and you fully intend to keep it between the two of you from now on without her intervention or commentary. Then, never discuss your marriage with her again--either of you.
Distance yourself as much as possible. She will not be able to meddle if she can't be around. Some people are just like this.
Never ever include her in any of your personal conversations that you have with your husband. Keep those conversations between the two of you when she is not around. That will definitely help.

You can also work up the nerve to kindly please leave the issue to you and your husband to work out and let her know how it aggravates you and makes everything worse. Sure, she thinks she is trying to help, but let her know that you would like to figure out your mistakes by yourself with your husband. It's hard to say when you are a nice person and don't want to hurt her feelings. But it works. I know what it feels like to have this happen, cause it happened to me. It got so bad I finally told my MIL to please let us (me and her daughter ) work things out in our time the way we see fit. I know it's hard to tell her anything of the sort, but the sooner you tell her to please butt out the better you will feel. You can do this. I did, and it was hard. But it worked and there was no hard feelings. (smile)
can you ignore her? the silent treatment usually gets their attention.

And yes there is something your husband can do. He can defend you by pointing out to her all the good things you do and how much you mean to him. If my parents were acting that way towards my wife, it would bother me to no end and I would want to say something to them.
Yes, there is absolutely something he can do, he can tell her to fvck off and mind her own business, he needs to have a testicle transplant for a bigger pair, that is ridiculous in the meantime have nothing to do with her have no communication with her and if she does get to you somehow and starts in, just tell her you do not need any advice from her then leave. Cut her out of your life.
Do not talk to her about your issues anymore. I have a m.i.l. who is quite similar and it drives me crazy. I have learned that I can only tell her certain things unless I want her to start preaching to me.
There really is not a whole lot more than you can do except what your already doing, deal with her. I suppose when she says something inaccurate, you can correct her like I have done with my meddling mother in law but use caution because it can cause bigger issues. But maybe it's time for hubby to get his momma in check. I feel for ya, I really do. I have so been there and still kinda there with my MIL. Now my FIL is a different story and I simply love him to bits. My MIL has mellowed out somewhat over the past year or so. We also chose to move further away and only see his parents once a month now and it was at least 1 time a week and sometimes more before we moved. But then I was the blame for us moving far away and in all reality, it was hubby's idea and his momma knows this but refuses to believe it. Look at it this way, this is honestly what I do. I look forward to the day that my 4 sons' make me a MIL, I have promised myself that I'd NEVER be like my MIL is. I hope to have 4 great relationships one day with my future DIL's. ;-) Good luck.



Mary in Camden, MI
i dont know .i have a good mother in law