How do you deal with your Dad's new wife when she is a *****?

He re-married 5 yrs ago now. She has always been rude and critical and just plain nasty to me. I just ignored it at first because I thought it just must be difficult for them both to adjust. Also wasn't sure if I was imagining it and didn't want to be labelled as just disliking her because she was the new step mother but now after yrs it's exhuasting. They go everywhere together and he say's nothing about the behaviour. Not really sure how to address it. Love my Dad regardless of course but surely something can be done? Plus why would she be like this?How do you deal with your Dad's new wife when she is a *****?
Personally, I would be open and honest with both your dad and his wife. Tell them both how you feel about the situation and never be scared of a show down. Blurt it out loud and strong so that they both are aware of how you are feeling. Explain to them that you have dealt with this matter for far too long and you can't deal with her nastiness anymore. Make your dad listen!!How do you deal with your Dad's new wife when she is a *****?
She prob cant cope with you and your dad being 2gether!! a bit insucure may be .



Why dont you suggest to your step mum that you and her (no dad) go out for the day, u never no you just might get along just fine!!



And then after that dont just give your dad attention give it your step mum to, and try and be friends, if this fails, talk to your dad alone and see if he can have words with her!!



Hop all goes well
sleep with her, this will show him that she is untrustworthy. Also you will get to bang her. If that fails kill her and your self with a note saying it was her, this will solve all of lifes little problems for you and for her. good luck .
i have to hand it to you? i would have not lasted five mi nits. tell her what you think ; of her. and tell your dad also.get it out in the open.
if its been 5 yrs she is not going to change, maybe its not such a good marriage if they are never together, maybe thats better for you, if you don't live with them that is just going to be better for you not to have to spend any more time than necessary with her, talk to your dad about your feelings, tell him the truth about how your feel, it will probably help to get it out in the open and he may not be surprised at all when you tell him, maybe he can help you understand her better, i think its cool you have stood by your dad and shown him support while feeling this way, but its time to tell him, he'll understand
Are you a bit jealous just a bit maybe That's no problem

.

Try telling her this,



Look here you have married my dad for which I am eternally grateful to you because that means he will never have to be alone and that's good for him but as far as you and I are concerned I don't like you and you don't like me so lets just get on with life and for his sake when we are all together lets be as pleasant as possible and then just keep out of each other way for the rest of the time.
A difficult situation. You could just say next time (in front of them both) that you find it upsetting and hurtful to be spoken to or treated in such a manner.



Or you could perhaps call her and invite her out for coffee on her own and say you would like to be more friendly with her but that you find it difficult as she seems to dislike you.



Tell her you love your Dad and you appreciate that she makes him happy and that you like to see, but add you think it would be really good for all and certainly would make your Dad really happy if the two of you got on well.



Advice given may or may not be useful, it is a very difficult situation, good luck and good wishes for all concerned.
Talk this over - calmly - with your father. Tell him how unwelcome you feel, without calling her obnoxious names, and listen to what he says. Then ask to speak to both of them to work to change this relationship.



Be caring and calm during these discussions if you truly want to change this situation. There are, very likely, other factors about which you have no idea that may be interfering with your setting up a good relationship, so listen carefully.



Right now you don't have all the facts, so ask your father for help. As long as you are willing to develop a respectful relationship with his wife, chances are that you can work this out.



Best of luck to all of you!
i think if you've dealt with this for 5yrs you're doing just fine. probably just letting off steam at having to deal with a difficult problem. i would not advise to discuss it with your dad as it would put him in the middle and you can never undo any criticism you may make. you sound very mature so if you have to say something why not ask your step mum to explain herself?
I hear you kid. My advice is: keep your head down, and get out as fast as you can without jeopardising your education. I wish you all the best.
First of all if this relationship is going to become better it's up to you to make it happen or at least to initiate. It's a good idea for you to have a good relationship with this women because if their relationship lasts you'll be needing to get along with her in your father's old age. Talk with your father. Let him know that you feel that your relationship with his wife is not as good as it could be and that you want to make it better but are not sure how to move forward. That way your get some insight if she has a problem with you that you didn't know about. Your dad can help relay the intention to your step-mother before you make any move as well is give you advice on making the relationship better. Plus your dad will love and appreciate you for putting forward the extra effort to make his world more happy.
I know how you feel. My dad married the wicked witch from the east. They've been married for over ten years now, I use to hate her because she took over our home. Over the years my father and I grew apart because of it. I've come to realise that my step-monster will never stop being a controlling cow, but I love my dad and so does she. The only advise I can give you is to accept her, she will always be the ***** and you cant change the way she is. I bet she's got some good points, if she loves your father, then she can't be all bad. When I moved out of home I didnt talk to my father for nearly two years because I couldn't get along with my step-mother. I wish I could have that time back. Although she still does things that annoy me, I do love her now, because she is good to my dad and she loves my children, even though she doesn't treat them like her own. Your dad wont say anything about her behaviour because thats his wife, he probably wont change. It can be hard to deal with this behaviour, but if you learn to accept how they both are, it becomes easier. Always know that your dad loves you.
personally i am experiencing the exact same thing at the mo my dads wife is trying 2 ban me and my sister and my sisters new born baby from going there you have to make your dad find sense
She sounds like she is just jealous because you get unconditional affection and love from your dad and she sounds like she wants it all for herself! This is a tricky one because speaking to your father about it may just push him away from you and make him resent you. Do you think there is any chance you can talk to her about it and ask her why she is being like this and make her see that you are not there to fight for his affections? I think you should try and speak to her and also carry on as you are, you are being the bigger person here by not rising to her and ignoring her behaviour. She sounds like a very insecure person.
Marriage is the married couples business only. I think most of what needs to be addressed is the issue of any individual failing to realize their role in the family and the name-calling of man's wife.



';They go everywhere together'; ~
I would wait until you find her alone, say at the kitchen sink, creep up behind her and get in real close and whisper in her ear that you will not put up with rude, manipulating, childish behaviour.

Remind her that he had a child before a second wife and she knew what she was getting before she married your dad. It is a bit rich and too late to start and try and change the status quo by being a ***** to you.
could she be jealous or feel threatened by the relationship you have with your dad?

I would actually speak to her and have it out with her but before you do let your dad know what you intend to do.

It sounds to me like you have been very fair and tolerant of this woman. Now time to kick **** girl!
she may just be a nasty person in general....or she could be jealous by yours and your dads closeness...have words with her...tell her your not a kid and wish to be spoken to like an adult and NOT spoken down to...also tell her that if she has got nothing nice to say to you...then say nothing at all.....i treat people the same way they treat me...if they are nice then so am i...if they are nasty then so am i....if you and her cannot see eye to eye...then see your dad when she' not around...that's the only way around it...or make friends with her and try to get on...if you can't do that then just go see your dad when he's alone and tell him what she is like with you....then have him talk to her about it because it upsets you
She's maybe jealous of your relationship with your dad.
Never come across as a fighter in front of ur dad or others but make sure and try to show others her true colour!!!

All the best!!!
I have been through this and more wife my dads new wife. I suggest you sit down and talk to them explain to them how you feel, Let them know. As it could be that they haven't noticed a problem and just need to be made aware of it. Good luck i hope it all works out well.