What do you get your mother for mothers day when she has been nothing but a b*tch for the last 7 monts?

I'm 32, and trying to be an adult about this, but i read all those sappy cards about how much you mean to me, how much you've done for me, how much you loved and supported me and they all dont apply to my mother. She has been a self absorbed b*tch for months to me. My husband has an affair and kicked me when I was down. More or less didnt blame him, or supported it, or whatever. Every thing that came out of her mouth was negative, pessimistic, whatever. I have almost wanted to disown her over the way she has treated me. Everything is about her and her needs or wants. At my lowest moment (over this affair, when all I wanted was my mom and her words of wisdom, etc..) she told me she was too busy to deal with my drama. I realize I am an adult, but seriously, is needing your mom in such a hard point in your life really that unreasonable or rediculous, and then she turns her back on you?What do you get your mother for mothers day when she has been nothing but a b*tch for the last 7 monts?
mother's day is giving something to her as a thank you for all she has done to you. But as she was doing nothing than give her nothing....What do you get your mother for mothers day when she has been nothing but a b*tch for the last 7 monts?
suck it up and give her a big Hug and some flowers
I don't think you should get anything for her if she has been so bad to you, but if you really want to do something, get her a blank card and simply write ';Happy Mother's Day'; with none of the mushy sentiments, or just give her a phone call
My Dear, I am not saying you should or shouldn't call your mother tomorrow. I still don't know if I am going to call mine; I just wrote the following so you know you are not alone in how you feel. Do whatever your heart tells you is right, and whatever you feel you can live with. Maybe your Mom isn't that bad, just a little selfish. I don't know. You're the one who's been her daughter for 32 years. But whatever you do, love yourself and don't allow her rejection to make you feel worthless.





I am in a similar situation: My mother did not raise me. I lived with her for the first time in my life when I was 19. She started acting kind of wierd when one of my sisters started whispering things about me being ';the one who got the most'; and apparently ';the one who gets the most is the most ungrateful.'; Anyway, I left home when I was 20 to study abroad--she kicked me out because I wrote a letter telling her how I felt, and she didnt like the letter. She called me a liar. I've been living in foreign countries ever since.





But every year, no matter how badly my mother treated me--there was a period of 2 years where she called and wrote to another one of my sisters in Idaho, but completely ignored me, even though I sent her Christmas cards and birthday cards and called her on Mother's day every year; for two years she gave me nothing--I always called. I always wrote. I always sent her gifts. Recently I sacrificed a whole semester of my PhD studies to find her a job in England. And I've spent a good few days of my life running up and down to get her visas so she could travel abroad. When I think about these things, I wonder if she isn't also an ';Ungrateful'; mother...for having children who did not use the excuse that their mother abandoned them as a reason not to succeed in life. I mean, I could have gotten pregnant and dropped out of high school; I could have turned my back completely and never come back to her. Does she think about these things? Is she grateful that I survived and that I want so badly to be a part of her life? No.





Anyway, I am 30 now and the past ten years have been hell. Depression like no other. Four unsuccessful suicide attempts. But I still feel like I need to try to love my mother. I feel like if I give up on her and decide to stop writing and calling, period, then I wont be the ';bigger person'; anymore. And the malicious people in my family who've made the relationship between me and my mother even more difficult than it need have been--well, they would have won, you see. But then I ask myself: Is ';being the bigger/better person'; worth it? Is it really worth all this grief? Is God going to be angry at me if I let my mother go after all these years of rejection? I didn't call her on her birthday this year, and, as expected, she didn't call me on mine. She lives on an eye for an eye, tooth for tooth basis, and the idea of a mother being the first to reach out to her child is lost on her. She has no clue.





My dear, I don't know what to tell you. I've decided to write a novel, and I entitled it ';Ungrateful,'; and I'm searching for a literary agent (It's copyrighted, so, you wannabee writers out there, dont even think about stealing my idea!) Contrary to what a lot of people believe, writing is NOT therapy, but sometimes it helps you turn tragedy into success. That's what I'm hoping to do with this. It's like my motivation to survive; the one thing that keeps me going now. Sometimes when you examine trauma under a microscope, you see the absurdity in human cruelty, and it makes you laugh...just how clueless some people are. For example, my mother still insists she's ';never hurt a fly,'; and I'm sure your mother would say the same if confronted with her crimes. I thought my book was going to be sad and depressing, but it's actually very funny in some parts. You just cannot believe a mother, or people who claim to be your relatives, could be so cruel. If I was a stranger reading the story of my life, I wouldn't think it was a true story. I would think ';this person has a wild imagination and dark sense of humour...family just cant be like that..., etc.';





Anyway, be strong, and don't worry. You'll be ok. Learn to love the people who love you back; and learn not to ';expect'; anything from anyone. What causes the worst feelings of disappointment and abandonment is when we have expectations and they are not met. Sometimes these expectations are basic things, like we expect the people closest to us to love us for who we are and to be there for us in times of need; you expect them to listen to you when you need to talk. You expect your mother to love you in the way you deserve to be loved, and to want to be there for you, like a mother should. But sometimes even these simple expectations are too much. And some people just cannot cope with it. Some people were just not cut out for parenthood...or marriage...or true friendship. They can only handle shallow, superficial relationships because they are afraid of intimacy; and they are afraid of being confronted with their flaws. So, let go of the expectations you have from such people and open up yourself and allow love and companionship and true friendship to come to you from other people. It's hard to say, but just because you're related to someone by blood, that doesnt make them your family. You CAN choose your family. But first, love yourself. Then the right kind of love will come into your life. And whatever you do, forgive your mother. That doesn't mean you should or shouldn't call her; forgive her inside your heart. Wish her long life and good health; never wish your hurt on her or anyone else.