How to deal with my overbearing mother, concerning my relationships?? Long Story..sorry :(?

I posted this a little while ago but the answer didn't work out so here I am again.



I'm a 21 (about to be 22) female. I have had 3 boyfriends in my life..2 of them long term (1 was for 8yrs..O.o I know! We recently broke up). But I have never felt the need to show them to my family (mother included), I know what your thinking...I haven't really cared about them if I can't show them to family but that's not true at all, they were very loving relationships and I was happy. My mother worries though, as far as she knows/is concerned, I've been single my whole life. I, at times, in bits and pieces have told her about them (cried on her shoulder during a fight or whatnot) but she hasn't seen so much as a pictures of my ex's. Well, wait...that's not true, once when I spent 2wks at my latest ex boyfriend's house, they briefly talked on the phone but I was too freaked to let it continue. My ex's have been willing to meet her, especially after I'm welcomed into their family but..Idk. I'm a homebody person and shes constantly asking why I'm not going out on dates or going out in general (always ending with, ';Idk, back in my day, I was always going out, it sure has changed nowadays';). Now by my age, she was engaged, about to be married (She's divorced now), so I understand that she might want that happiness for me but we are not the same person.



She has recently has come up with the conclusion that I'm gay, and no matter how I try to tell her I'm not, she remains unconvinced. But she has taken too far, she has told family members and at a family reunion, my aunt (my mother's sister), not one to beat around the bush straight out asked me in front of everyone ';Are you a lesbian? Because your mother thinks that you might be';. Needless to say, I was mortified, but I laughed it off and denied it. Later that night, I got into a huge argument with my mother over it. I don't know why I refuse to introduce anyone to my family, I've always been a private person. You won't know whats going on with me until I tell you and if I actually care enough to take the time to tell you, I expect you to listen and believe . But my mother's badgering is wearing extremely thin on my nerves (especially since I moved back in with her after being on my own for over a year). How do I make her understand that I don't date around? That I love being in love but do not need it to enjoy life like she talks about? That I'm not a party-er? That I'm not gay? Why do you think I won't bring guys to meet my family?



You opinions and/or advise would be much appreciated. Thank you.



Oh, P.S. I recently found a FWB (a first for me), and I stay the night each time I'm with him and every time I come home, she asks for a picture of the person, or to talk to them (don't think she has guess he's just a fwb). Tries to guess if its a him or a her (though when giving what little detail I do, I always say him/he, but I guess she thinks I'm lying *sigh*).How to deal with my overbearing mother, concerning my relationships?? Long Story..sorry :(?
you could try telling her that society is not family based as it was in her youth. and that your boyfriend is charming and pleases you...but you havent derided to make any permanent arrangements with a man and that you think being involved with your family would make it harder to end said relationship when you did find your mr. right.